SIMON'S REVENGE
by lizabeth39
Summary: john and Elizabeth are looking forward to a great future together, that is until Simon arrives on Atlantis Sorry for the long delay in posting last chapter but it's finally done. The first couple of chapters have been revamped slightly especially chap1
1. Chapter 1

Simon's Revenge Just a waning fic contains rape/ nonconcensual sex

Thanks to everyone who has stuck around to the completion despite the long wait. Also a big thanks, to my beta readers Oparu and Sally couldn't have done it without them.

Chapter One

John sighed happily, a feeling of contentment filling him. He leaned on the railing taking in the peaceful atmosphere of the control room beneath him, something the residents of Atlantis didn't have in abundance. Often her people were battle weary, finding themselves once again having to defend Atlantis against an enemy, whose goal was to either destroy Atlantis, or to take her as their own and in the process, enslaving the brave people who'd fought hard to protect her.

He thought back to their arrival in the Pegasus Galaxy. 'Had they all held the same expectations? Had anyone thought of the many horrors that awaited them?' Some he knew came drawn by the thought of adventure and excitement of the unknown. Others wanting to leave behind the rat race, life on earth had become. All of them had been aware of one major factor: the high probability that it was a one way trip.

Their existence had been threatened as soon as they'd emerged on Atlantis. First, by the city itself until she majestically arose out of her murky grave, coming to rest on the ocean surface. Then, they had awoken their deadliest enemy, the Wraith. The repercussions still haunted them.

The grave situations they frequently stumbled across, far from destroying them, instead made them stronger. Their main purpose became protecting Atlantis at all cost.

It had been a joint effort. John however, realised the path they'd taken would've been far rockier if it hadn't been for the dedication of their expedition leader Dr Elizabeth Weir. Her leadership and diplomatic expertise had enabled them, on many occasions to emerge from a potently lethal situation unscathed.

John felt a personal gratitude for her. If it hadn't been for Elizabeth seeing something in him worth redeeming, he would've been left buried in Antarctica with little hope of a transfer never mind promotion. She had given him the means to save himself, a purpose in life.

It had taken some time for them to develop the trust that now existed between them, but develop it had. This was due to Elizabeth's willingness to listen to his arguments and not turn them down without discussing the reasons why.

John, in turn, had wanted to give something back. Although still reckless, it was this that often saved Atlantis from many of the dangers that threatened. There grew within him a strong loyalty to Atlantis and her people and he would give his life to protect them if needed.

It was Elizabeth who stole his heart, though, as he found feelings and emotions stirring; ones thought to have been long buried and forgotten. At first it was only a strong need for her friendship, then needing to protect her and ensure her safety, both on Atlantis and on off world expeditions. Gradually, though, these feeling changed from ones of friendship, into something much deeper. He fought against this, afraid it would spoil their friendship if Elizabeth found out; never contemplating she felt the same way about him.

A heart wrenching experience had exposed Elizabeth's well hidden vulnerability. In the safety of his arms, she had bared her heart to him, allowing all her fears and uncertainties to escape unchecked.

He heaved a sigh; what lay ahead for them all rested on Elizabeth's reaction tomorrow. He had everything planned to perfection, now it was down to her- _please let her say the words I'm longing to hear._

He was brought back from his thoughts with a bang. Groaning with irritation, he tapped his earpiece. "Yes McKay I can hear you and no I haven't forgotten we've a meeting in five minutes. I'm on my way now."

Casting a fleeting glance back at Elizabeth's office, he smirked at the appealing look she threw him. Someone had just contacted her via her ear piece 'probably Rodney.' He thought. 'He never could take no for an answer.' Oh John would have a few choice words, if it were him. Elizabeth had adamantly stated she didn't have time to come and see Rodney's newest discovery.

* * *

Weir taped her pen on the desk, irritated. With all the technology they had acquired, why couldn't they find something that would make this tedious task easier? Completing the time consuming, but necessary, mission reports was a mind-numbing task.

Sighing, she realised she'd allowed herself to become easily distracted over the past week, more often than not due to a certain Colonel Sheppard. It was so easy to forget she had work to attend to, when he was breathing warm air sensually down the back of her neck, or pleading with her with his puppy dog eyes. It wouldn't be so bad, if she didn't have to keep chasing him for his own reports, but as always, he found some means of wriggling out of completing them.

This time though, she couldn't lay all the blame at Sheppard's door. He may have been the instigator, but she'd allowed herself to get distracted with very little persuasion on his part. Well after all, these feelings were still new, still exciting and the need to be with John far exceeded the need to fill in boring reports; there was plenty of time for that. Only, that time was about to run out with the imminent arrival of Colonel Caldwell._ Now_ _she was really depressed_. The Colonel's visits always had her on edge. At first it had merely been his frequent criticism. He'd made it crystal clear from the very beginning, how strong his objections were to Atlantis being lead by a Diplomat, who was non military and a woman to boot.

His antagonism had increased since John's promotion to Military Leader of Atlantis. It was well known he saw the position as his, so to lose it to Sheppard had been a devastating blow. To have it snatched from under his nose was bad enough. For it to be someone with Sheppard's record had further angered him and he never failed to make the two leaders aware of the fact.

Elizabeth frowned, the implications of Caldwell ever finding out their secret was indescribable. It would provide the ammunition he longed for; a means of removing them and getting himself installed on Atlantis. For the good of Atlantis, this could not be allowed to happen.

It was imperative that they didn't behave in a way that would arouse his suspicions. The only way of doing that, was to maintain a working relationship whilst Caldwell was in the vicinity. It wasn't easy for them, but they both agreed it was the only way.

Cold shivers run down her spine at the thought of being caught. Elizabeth was under no false pretence; the result of that discovery would be her removal from Atlantis and summoned back to earth in disgrace. The thought of saying farewell to her beloved city and her people, took her breath away. She couldn't allow that to happen to John either; Atlantis depended on him and would falter without his leadership. She couldn't deny Caldwell was a good soldier, but he lacked the compassion and the leadership qualities needed to run Atlantis as it should.

Her thoughts drifted back to John as she compared the two men. A smile grew, lighting up her face, as she thought back to the awakening of her feelings. She remembered the exact moment she'd realised what she felt for John went far deeper than just mere friendship and she had gasped in astonishment. The cold and aloof Dr Weir, as she was perceived by others, had fallen madly in love with her second in command.

She'd tried so hard to keep it hidden and probably would've succeeded, if it weren't for John's own awakened feelings and an ill fated mission. Her mind went back to that day, remembering it as if were yesterday...

_Flashback_

Her expertise and skills as a diplomat had been paramount in securing a treaty, on a world where food supplies were in abundance. The people of the planet were extremely nervous, but it looked as if everything was proceeding well, until another group of people arrived and recognised the Atlanteans as being responsible for the awakening of the wraith.

After that things had swiftly deteriorated, resulting in the Atlanteans having to battle their way back to the stargate, with casualties on both sides. Elizabeth, in her haste to flee, had fallen and badly sprained her ankle. Lorne and his men, so caught up in the struggle, were unaware of her injury and subsequent vulnerability. The hiss of pain she unwittingly released, immediately drew the attention of a young warrior. He was so consumed with hate, he gave no thought to the fact Elizabeth was unarmed. She looked at him, her expression full of horror, helpless as his gun was raised and pointed directly at her.

From this distance, Elizabeth knew there was no chance of him missing. Strangely, as he levelled his gun and his finger moved to the trigger, in that surreal moment it wasn't fear she felt, but a strange calmness.

As Elizabeth closed her eyes, awaiting the fatal shot, she was suddenly knocked face first into the dirt. She struggled, panic stricken and pinned down, only she couldn't tell by what. There was an immense pressure on her ribs and she struggled to breath, but just as she felt the darkness closing in, the weight was suddenly gone and she was free.

She looked up when a pair of hands appeared and gave a watery smile of relief as she saw Lorne standing above her. One of his men, who was crouched over something to the side of Elizabeth, gave a silent nod as if to confirm something. Something in the men's closed expressions sent a wave of fear down her spine and she turned round sharply, ignoring Lorne's warning shout. An anguished cry gurgled in Elizabeth's throat as she saw the dying soldier only a few feet away, recognising him as one of the soldiers recently appointed to Atlantis. This was in fact his first off world mission and Elizabeth remembered the excitement and awe in his eyes during yesterday's briefing. Now he lay in the throes of death. She sunk down on her knees beside him, gently lifting his hand. As he struggled between life and death he looked at Elizabeth and smiled "Atlantis needs you." His voice trailed off as he exhausted the last of his strength. Elizabeth cried softly, grief stricken. His hand became limp and his face relaxed as he left life behind, to become another casualty in their fight for survival.

Their enemy, normally peace loving people who had attacked out of grief, stopped their attack and gradually fell back. The young warrior, who had threatened Dr Weir, had done so in a moment of insanity, hearing only the screams of his parents and young sister as they were taken by the wraith. He wanted to avenge their deaths and who better to suffer, than the person he saw as being responsible for the awakening of the wraith? The warriors now retreated into the thick undergrowth, leaving the Atlanteans to return to Atlantis with their dead and wounded.

On their return, Elizabeth had drawn in on herself as guilt and regret consumed her. She felt she was to blame for the young soldier's premature death. With her diplomatic experience, she felt she should've noticed something amiss with their guests; somehow picked up the fact they were grieving. She mentally punished herself for what she felt was an unforgivable error and carelessness. No matter how many times everyone assured her she wasn't to blame; she refused to accept it and instead became quiet and withdrawn. So much so that Carson concerned for her welfare and ailing health, had insisted she be admitted to the infirmary. His concern for her overrode her objections.

After once again suffering from sleep plagued by flashbacks and nightmares, she'd sneaked out of the infirmary in Carson's absence and fled to the place she frequently found herself when the need for solitude overwhelmed her. In that instance however, the warmth and calming sound of the ocean had refused to sooth her turbulent thoughts. Elizabeth had sunk to the floor as the full force of her anxiety and sheer exhaustion finally hit her.

Not until she felt arms encircling her, pulling her into the warmth and security of his arms, did she become aware of John's presence. He was her saving grace that night. Only with him had she been able to open up and pour her heart out. She had cried in his arms, but between sobs, had managed to speak of the guilt that was consuming her; of how she felt it should be her they were burying and not someone only just starting out on his life's journey.

She had shouted at John in anguish. "Why did he do it... why? I was prepared for it, ready to face the fate that awaited me. If only I hadn't closed my eyes, too much of a coward to watch the shot being fired, I could have prevented him sacrificing himself."

John tightened his hold on her, alarmed at the shivering that was racking havoc with her body, but remained silent.

"The bullet was meant for me John, not for him." Resting her head against John's chest, she'd sobbed. "What am I going to tell them? What will I tell his family, his mother... his father?"

* * *

John had remained supportive, but silent, until Elizabeth had extinguished the emotions she'd held in check for so long. Only when he was satisfied she'd revealed enough of her tortured thoughts to allow her some peace, did he speak up. He Instinctively knew she was ready to accept words of comfort.

Gently gripping Elizabeth's shoulders, he held her away from his body, so he could get her full attention. "It was the choice he chose to make. One full of bravery and compassion, thinking only of saving the life of the one person whose loss would bring Atlantis to her knees.

"His family will be sad but proud that he died, not only in the line of duty, but for something and someone he truly believed in. Remember, they were aware of the dangers he faced on a daily basis, every time he left them behind. Did they try to stop him? No, and do you know why Elizabeth? Even though their heart probably ached every time he left, they knew how important it was for him to fulfil his own choices in life, to shape his own destiny."

Looking up at him, the anguish still haunting her, Elizabeth sobbed. "He didn't have to die, though it wasn't his choice to make. They'll despise me John, wondering how it is that I survived, but their son didn't."

John cupped her face in his hands, tenderly wiping away the tears that glistened on her cheeks. "Elizabeth, I can't imagine them ever hating you. To do that would be to deny the bravery and courage of their son's last actions. If you want, together we'll go see them when the time is right and can talk of their son. On seeing you, they will see what their son saw, not only a great leader, but someone who is cherished and loved by all those she leads."

Gently tucking a stray curl behind her ear, John placed a tender kiss on Elizabeth's forehead before venturing to her lips. Her near death had shaken him badly. It'd shown the insignificance of the pressures preventing them admitting their true feelings for one another, but not so any longer. To be forever denied the opportunity to see if his feelings would have been reciprocated would've been unbearable.

Thankfully that had not happened. She had survived and although he was saddened by the soldier's death, he would be lying if he didn't admit he was relieved it wasn't her body lying in the morgue, waiting to be returned to a grieving family.

Therefore, when he saw the same feelings reflected in her eyes, as shone in his, he knew everything would work out. Elizabeth's expression of wonder at her awakening feelings and the fierce passion she displayed when their lips finally met, dispelled any remaining doubts. The anxieties she'd experienced earlier were quickly forgotten, their only emotions spent on the thrill of discovery. John's finger's stroked the smooth soft skin of her neck, before travelling sensually downwards, his fingers caressing her rapidly hardening nipples; her gasps of pleasure music to his ears.

Their moment of passion was abruptly interrupted by the vibrating in his ear, causing Elizabeth to groan in frustration as he pulled away from her. He pointed to his ear and silently formed the word 'Carson' with his lips, but frowned at the guilty look she was displaying. He soon found out the reason why, however, as the anxious twang of the Scottish Doctor filtered through.

"Colonel, do you happen to know the whereabouts of Dr Weir? It'll be the observation bed beside my office for her when I eventually catch up with her. The lass was given strict instructions to remain in bed, but gave my nurses the slip in my absence."

Glancing at her, John replied "So she's absconded, has she? Well as it happens, she's standing looking at my right now."

Carson replied "Well she's got ten minutes, then I'm coming to fetch her and I'm not so sure you didn't put her up to this."

"What do you mean by that Carson?" retorted John indignantly, glowering at Elizabeth as she smirked at him.

"Well you're not exactly a model patient yourself. So I don't trust you not to be putting a few of your ideas into Elizabeth's head."

"Carson, I promise to bring her back safe and sound. Anyway, she's shared some of the things that were bothering her."

Carson sighed in relief. "Well maybe I was just a touch hard on you. If you managed to get her to talk, you mustn't be so bad for her after all. Look, I suppose if you think she'd be better off, she can return to her quarters. Only with conditions attached, mind you."

John grinned wickedly at Elizabeth. "And what condition do you want to impose on Elizabeth?"

"Well mainly she has to agree to either myself, _or,_ if she permits, _you_, checking on her at regular intervals and without complaining."

"I'll discuss it with her and let you know what her decision is, although I think I know what her answer I'll be."

"Aye, so do I, lad, so do I. Though why everybody takes exception to spending time in my infirmary I'll never understand." He muttered a couple of indecipherable words before there was silence as he disconnected the connection.

Elizabeth was staring at him, beseechingly and John pulled her into his embrace. "Well, Carson has said if you want, you can return to your own quarters as long as you allow either Carson or me to regularly check up on you."

She nodded, eagerly. "Oh please, John. I would go mad if I'd to spend any longer in there."

"That's a shame; I think Carson was kind of hoping you'd say the infirmary." He laughed at Elizabeth's horrified expression. "He can't understand why no-one's happy to remain in his tender care for a few days. Maybe you should stay and see if it sooths his hurt pride."

She shook her head, vigorously. "No way. Someone else can have that pleasure, because I don't intend to spend another minute in it. Anyway, I've got outstanding commitments."

"Oh?" he smirked, licking his lips."If you mean continuing where we left off, before Carson's ill timed call, I'm all for it. I suggest we pick somewhere slightly less public, however."

Elizabeth's cheeks glowed crimson as she realised what he was implying. "I'm sorry John, what must you think of me, throwing myself at you like that? I shouldn't have allowed my feelings to get the better of me like that."

"There's no need to apologise, I was there as well remember? I don't regret it and neither should you." He stiffened as he sensed a reluctance in Elizabeth. He pulled away slightly, so he could gauge her reactions. "So, what're you trying to tell me Elizabeth? You were certainly up for it not so long ago."

"John, I was feeling weak and vulnerable which meant I wasn't thinking straight." She knew she wasn't being entirely truthful, she had longed for the taste of him, to kiss his sensual lips, but she had to be strong; that kind of relationship was too dangerous to even contemplate.

John furiously spat at her. "So what're you trying to say? That I took advantage of your emotional state? Answer me Elizabeth, is that what you think, because if that's it then you don't know me at all."

"No of course not, John. I could never think that way of you." Elizabeth looked at him, pleading with her eyes for him to understand. "But we just can't; it would split our objectives. Atlantis has to come before all else, before either you or I. It'll undermine my authority and I'll be accused of favouring you, of allowing our relationship to cloud my judgement. But do you know what would be the worst of all John?"

He pulled away, turning his back to her, not willing to show the hurt he was feeling. "No, but I'm sure you'll enlighten me."

"Don't you see John? They won't allow us to remain on Atlantis. If the IOA found out, we'd immediately be replaced. All the hard work you and I have put in to safeguarding Atlantis will have been in vain."

"It doesn't have to be like that. We'll still be the same people, these feelings aren't new. I fell in love with you a long time ago, but it hasn't affected the decisions I've had to make and it won't in the future." John tight grip on the safety bar around the balcony gave some indication of the frustration he was feelings. Also correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think your feelings towards me were suddenly discovered today. I'd say you've felt something for me for a while, as well, and when has it ever affected your decisions? I'll tell you when, never. Admit it Elizabeth, you know I'm right."

Elizabeth nodded, but looked at John sadly. "Okay, maybe on that aspect you're right, but although we know it, others may not. You know there are people who'd take great pleasure in using such ammunition against us." Her voice was breaking. "You don't know how badly I long for there to be an 'us'; to know I'll have the comfort of your arms waiting for me, but how will it ever be possible? I'm not promising anything, but what if we see how it develops; take things slowly."

Forlorn, he nodded. "Okay, if that's what you want, then I guess that's how it'll have to be played."

John glanced quickly at her, before turning to stare out to the ocean, but it was enough for her to see the hurt and disappointment he felt. She wasn't really surprised to hear the venom in his next words.

"When you've decided how and if you want to invest in this relationship, let me know. That's if I'm still waiting around."

"Please John," Elizabeth begged on the verge of tears as she grabbing John's sleeve, don't... don't be like this. I do want to be with you, it's just... I don't know how... I need you to show me how."

He looked at her without replying for a minute, then, remembering how she'd been earlier and his promise to always be there for her, he relented. "Hush now, it's okay, we'll work it out, come here." He pulled her to him, so she was once again comforted by his closeness. "I understand, and I'm sorry for upsetting you. Look, we'll take it slow; see how things develop."

Elizabeth smiled up at him, a glimmer of hope appearing through her tears. "I'd like that."

They headed back towards her quarters. John was mindful of Carson's words, intending to see that she stuck to her promise and went straight back to bed. Once in her quarters, he sat and waited for her to wash and change and, after making sure she was in bed, kissed her on the forehead before heading for the door.

Just as he was about to close the door behind him, she called to him. "John, wait!"

He stopped dead in his tracks, clearly worried by the anguish he heard in her voice.

"Elizabeth, what's wrong?" He asked.

"John... don't go.... please stay," Elizabeth fell into his arms, shaking, "l want you to stay, please! I need you."

"Hush, it's okay." He gently comforted her." Are you sure about this Elizabeth?" He looked into her eyes, trying to decide if this was what she truly wanted. "You have to be sure this is what you really want. If it's only comfort you want, then you can have it. I'll hold back, though it'll be hard having you so close.

She looked up at him, comforted by the feeling of his arms around her again. "That's not what I mean, John. I want you, all of you. We'll have to be discreet though, with only our closest friends being aware of this and you'd better warn Carson. There's no need for him to call. We don't want him coming to check on me and seeing more than he expected."

_End flashback_

Elizabeth smiled to herself, as she thought of their first night together; neither had got much sleep, too caught up in the passion of their love making, and their relationship had never looked back. They had the odd argument or two, but that just added more spice to their relationship and their making up afterwards still sent shivers down her spine.

Now she wouldn't be able to show her feels to him, until Colonel Caldwell had left. It was so unfair. 'Still' she smirked inwardly, 'I'll have the surprise that John has been teasing me about, to look forward to.'She wondered what it could be, '_John is like a big kid_ _sometime_s.' He'd been teasing her relentlessly about it for the last week or so.

'Well I'd better get back to these reports, or I'll never get rid of Colonel Caldwell.' With that, she put all her concentration back in to getting them finished.

Elizabeth, thankfully, had the reports finished just as someone informed her of the imminent arrival of their expected company. She sighed as she realised she'd have to place John on the back burner until the Daedalus' and Colonel Caldwell's departure.

Frowning, she realised she'd been so busy catching up on her reports, that she hadn't given any thought to the manifest with the names of the new recruits. Now she was out of time, so hopefully it wouldn't hold any surprises. The noise coming from the gate room indicated action, which meant only one thing: the new arrivals, along with Caldwell, were in the process of being beamed into the gate room.

She huffed to herself, 'Ihad better get down there if l want to be on time to welcome them.' Leaving her office in a hurry, she was almost bowled over by John, who was also on his way to meet the new military personnel.

"Whoa!" His hands went around Elizabeth's waist to steady her. "This isn't the time or place..." His eyes were full of longing and lust, but the smirk on his face showed he was joking.

She laughed at him, but in a serious voice replied, "You know we'll have to be careful, until we get to know the new personnel, and until Colonel Caldwell has gone?"

He groaned, "I know, but it's going to be hard. You could promise to make it up to me afterwards?" He whispered in a husky voice."Just think how much fun that'll be. I'm already fantasising what you can do to make up for it."

His words resulted in a well earned slap on the arm from Elizabeth, but her parting words were a challenge."It's your turn to surprise me."

With that she was gone, hurrying of to meet an impatient Colonel Caldwell, leaving behind a smirking Colonel, who almost immediately ran to catch up with her. They stood at the bridge together, their humour left behind and masks of professionalism firmly in place, as they prepared to welcome the newest recruits to Atlantis.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Elizabeth stood alongside John, waiting to welcome the newest arrivals to Atlantis. The expedition leaders were aware that the newest recruits were crucial, in ensuring the continued survival of the Atlantis expedition. The numbers of the original expedition had dropped dramatically, so many lives cut short during the constant battles to protect Atlantis and her people.

Not one person on Atlantis, could say that they weren't affected to some degree, by what they had endured since their arrival in the Pegasus galaxy. For some however, the constant battle of facing death - often on a daily basis - had become unbearable and they'd taken the decision to return to earth.

Scanning the sea of faces, Elizabeth wondered what new skills the latest recruits would bring to Atlantis. She thought sadly, how many of them would meet the same fate as their predecessor. Elizabeth's stomach did a somersault as her gaze stopped suddenly a mop of curly hair, _no... it can't be_! She felt the nausea rising as he turned round and their eyes met across the room, She could only stare in shocked disbelief knowing her worst nightmare was about to become a reality. She wept inwardly in despair, realising the tranquillity of her relationship with John was about to become undone. Elizabeth knew John well enough to gauge what his reactions would be; he would see it as utter betrayal on her part.

So many times Elizabeth had thought about telling John, but it'd never seemed the right moment, never the right opportunity. Now she wished she had, as she felt herself unwittingly propelled in to Simon's arms, frozen with shock as he kissed her passionately on the lips. Her long term partner - whom she'd left being on earth along with a video that'd explained the reason for her disappearance – had somehow managed to follow her to Atlantis.

Elizabeth swallowed hard, trying to comprehend what was happening, whilst anxiously fighting to regain control of her senses and composure.

She cringed, at the shocked expression on John's face, his eyes displaying not only confusion, but anger also. Pulling away from Simon, Elizabeth was unable to shake off the cold chill that was running through her body.

Elizabeth desperately tried to convey in her expression, what she couldn't say in words. _John don't listen, it's not what you think, wait until l can explain._

The look John threw at her however, was so cold and dark, that it caused Elizabeth to take a sharp intake of breath. At the same time she realised, that even if she declared her feelings for John, in front of everyone present, it still wouldn't be enough to convince John she loved him.

Reluctantly her thoughts returned to the situation with Simon and she couldn't help tormenting herself, her thoughts in turmoil. She knew she should've made time to go visit him the last few times she'd been back on earth, instead of always finding some viable reason not to do so. Why'd she been so foolish in thinking she could prevent the inevitable from happening.

She knew the answer to her question though. She'd been terrified at the thought of a direct confrontation with Simon, deciding instead to write and explain to him he should move on with his life. Elizabeth had tried to make him understand, that their relationship had ended the day she left for Atlantis. A long distance relationship like theirs had no hope of survival. She'd finished the letter, by wishing Simon good luck for the future, and that she hoped he'd find the happiness he deserved.

Sudden realization hit Elizabeth, the reason why she'd never felt fulfilled with Simon, as she truly did with John, was because she'd never really loved Simon. John, when he'd eventually broken through her emotional barrier, had shown her what true love meant, Elizabeth loved John, as she would never love anyone else.

Sighing in despair, her heart heavy Elizabeth realised how close she was to losing it all, due to her own stupidity. Elizabeth knew Simon wouldn't have received her letter. She'd only just deposited it with the other mail due to be taken to earth via the Daedalus, so Simon had arrived before the letter had even left Atlantis.

Starling realisation brought Elizabeth out of her contemplation, with a bang. She'd been so caught up in her thoughts; she hadn't noticed John was deep in conversation with Simon. Although on the surface, it appeared there was nothing unusual in the conversation between the two men; Elizabeth could sense the tension radiating from John.

* * *

John was livid, as he shook hands with the man who had just accosted Elizabeth, but at the same time he was also curious.

"Welcome to Atlantis, I am Colonel Sheppard, the military commander of Atlantis" John paused. He wasn't sure if he really wanted the answer to what he was about to ask. "I take it you know our expedition leader, Dr Elizabeth Weir?"

Simon shook John's hand. "It's good to finally meet you Colonel Sheppard. I'm Dr Wallace, and I more than just know Dr Weir. She'll be the future Dr Wallace, as soon as I can arrange someone to do the marriage ceremony

The colour drained from John face, and he replied in a voice devoid of any emotion. "Well... I hope you will both be very happy." Without even looking at Elizabeth, John excused himself and was gone.

* * *

Elizabeth desperately wanted to go after John. She needed to explain the situation to him, to make him understand. The thunderous expression she'd seen in his eyes, before he stormed off, had left her feeling queasy and disturbed. She knew she was going to have a difficult task ahead of her, but she couldn't lose him. Elizabeth was furious at herself, not able to believe her own stupidity.

As she looked around in dismay, Elizabeth knew it was going to be, _more or less,_ impossible to go after John. She could see Colonel Caldwell lurking nearby, waiting to speak with her. Just as she was trying to think of a way to escape the room unseen, Colonel Caldwell approached, laying a hand on her arm, demanding her attention.

Colonel Caldwell was grinning from ear to ear. "I couldn't wait for your reunion Dr Weir, l knew you'd be overwhelmed when you realised Dr Wallace would be joining us on Atlantis," he informed Elizabeth Elizabeth's look of confusion, Coronel Caldwell continued.

"Dr Wallace has been filling me in on your relationship, Dr Weir. l hope you don't mind? Dr Wallace was explaining, how he was longing to see you again."

Elizabeth looked at Simon, who was obviously expecting her to acknowledge pleasure at his arrival. She knew however, what she wanted to say, compared to what Simon expected her to say, would differ vastly.

Elizabeth realised Colonel Caldwell was still speaking, but couldn't believe what he was saying

"I've explained to Dr Wallace, how lonely it is on Atlantis for you," Colonel Caldwell said. "How your role, as civilian leader, prevents you from forming any close relationships. A relationship with any one on Atlantis would result in judgement being made on your ability to act impartially, and on your leadership capabilities."

Staring at Colonel Caldwell in disbelief, Elizabeth was seething, _how he dare assume anything regarding my personal life_. A cold shiver ran down Elizabeth's back, as she also observed something in Colonel Caldwell's expression. Something cold and calculating, that didn't go with the image he was trying to portray.

She gasped quietly; what.... if he knows there's something between John and l after all? _No....no he can't._

These thoughts continued to haunt Elizabeth, shaking her to the core. Colonel Caldwell had nearly caught them once before, but they thought they'd gotten away with it. _What if they hadn't? _What if this was his way of effectively dealing with it? Colonel Caldwell knew John well enough, to realise this would effectively destroy any relationship that existed.

Colonel Caldwell leaned back on his heels. "Well..., I'll leave you two love birds to get reacquainted" he paused, looking directly at Elizabeth. "I need to speak with Colonel Sheppard, Dr Weir. You wouldn't happen to know where he is."

Before Elizabeth could comment, Caldwell continued with the hint of a smirk on his face. "l noticed he left in rather hurry."

Elizabeth managed to choke out. "No... l don't."

"Well no doubt he'll not be far away," Colonel Caldwell replied, before walking away. Elizabeth heart sunk, as she realised, she was now alone with Simon.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

Elizabeth glanced warily at Simon, trying to choose her words carefully. "Simon you have to realise… things change, I'm not the same person you knew back then. Some of the things I've done I'm not proud of but they were necessary for the survival of Atlantis. Not everyone would agree however.

"Do you think l don't realise that Elizabeth?" replied Simon. "I've heard of the horrific events you, and the others on Atlantis, have had to endure. Elizabeth you wouldn't be the person l fell in love with, if you'd been left undisturbed by all that's befallen you. However, you no longer have to go through it alone; you've got me now. I'm here to guide and care for you."

Simon lifted Elizabeth chin up, leaving her no option but to look directly at him. "Okay l know what a selfish idiot I've been. After you left, l finally realised how utterly frustrated you must've felt, how much I'd neglected you. I knew then that if I didn't act quickly I'd lose you, but I also knew I'd need to sort out a few things first.

"But Simon..." Elizabeth started.

"Let me finish Elizabeth. You've had your say, now let me have mine, it will only take a minute," Simon said, in a clipped tone displaying some annoyance." l can see now how important this job is to you. Seeing this place first hand, l can't believe what I'm seeing. My god... Elizabeth... it's absolutely amazing!"

Elizabeth knew, everyone who materialized into the gateroom, be if from the Deadalus, or through the stargate, were stunned by the beauty that was Atlantis. It truly was an amazing and awesome site; an impression of sheer wonder, that Elizabeth knew would never be forgotten.

Smiling slightly, Elizabeth remembered the feeling of awe, she herself had experienced when she'd first set foot in Atlantis. That feeling had never left her and she realised happily, it never would.

Elizabeth opened her mouth to speak, but Simon again prevented this putting his finger to her lips

"Wait... Elizabeth" said Simon "I see the respect these people have for you, especially that... Sheppard I think he called himself."

"Colonel Sheppard and the respect is mutual," replied Elizabeth gritting her teeth in irritation.

Simon gave her a strange look" He's certainly… rather over protective of you, don't you think. What's his problem?"

"Colonel Sheppard makes it his responsibility to protect everyone on Atlantis, that's just how he is", answered Elizabeth. He has frequently put his life on the line, to ensure the safety of our people."

"Very commendable, l suppose," Simon replied, though his tone didn't give truth to his words.

Elizabeth glared at him, "off course it's commendable if it weren't for John..."

"Ok, so… the man's a saint, can we just get back to the topic of you and I," Simon replied, ignoring Elizabeth's irritated sigh. "We never spent enough time together; just the two of us, but that'll change now. We'll be working alongside one another here on Atlantis." Simon smiled at Elizabeth. "This'll give us the opportunity to really get to know one another again - to get closer than we ever were before."

Simon stopped to draw breath, but before she could utter a sound Elizabeth realised he was off on a tangent once again.

_Is he ever going to shut up?_ Elizabeth thought in annoyance.

"Elizabeth you don't know how much I've missed you?" Simon Continued. "How empty my life has been.

_Well I can't say the same,_ groaned Elizabeth to herself, her thoughts resting on John for a moment, before she forced herself to listen once more to Simon as he rambled on.

"There were also some other things... in our relationship that I know you weren't happy about, _but Elizabeth_, I've been seeing a counsellor for anger management. That's all in the past, so you've nothing to fear of now.

Dropped her head fearfully, Elizabeth shuddered as she realised what Simon was talking about. This was the true reason why she'd had been, and still was, wary of telling Simon to his face their relationship was over.

Simon seeing the look in her eyes lifted her chin gently. "Elizabeth... I swear on my life... that's all in the past. I promise to never put you through that again." Simon paused briefly before continuing. "My counsellor helped me sort through a few issues I had, and they're no longer a problem. I knew once that had been dealt with, it was the right time to come claim you back."

_But I don't feel anything for you,_ thought Elizabeth in despair.

Simon cupped Elizabeth's face in his hands, "Elizabeth... I want you as my wife!" Will you marry me?"

Elizabeth trembled in horror, more afraid than ever. _No... I don't want to be his wife, not now... not ever_. She felt nauseous as she forced herself to listen.

"We can be on Atlantis together, both doing the jobs we love, with the person we love." Simon looking at Elizabeth eagerly, clearly expecting her to agree with him.

"This was going to be even harder than she thought. Elizabeth frowned angrily at herself; _lf only I had sent the letter sooner. At least we wouldn't be standing here now, having this conversation._

"_Simon..._ please!" Elizabeth started hesitantly; "I can't. I've changed in more ways than you realise. I've responsibilities now, people that are dependent on me".

"I know, but that needn't affect us" Simon replied. "We can still make time for one another, during the day, plus we'll have the evenings to look forward."

His lust filled eyes made Elizabeth squirm, leaving her no doubt about what he was implying. The thought of having sex with Simon turned her stomach

Simon continued on, oblivious to Elizabeth's discomfort and horror. "I have missed making love to you .... I'm sure you have too."

Elizabeth swallowed hard, if_ he only knew how wrong he was._

"Simon ...you don't understand! It's just that..." her voice faltered slightly, her courage failing her, but she took a deep breath summing up the strength to continue. "Simon I'm sorry I don't feel 'that' way about you anymore. I don't love you."

_There It's said; _Elizabeth thought to herself, _I've finally found the courage." _I'm sorry you've come all this way, I should have informed you sooner..."

"Look, it's only natural that you're feeling confused, after all, you've spent the last two years on your own" Simon replied. "I know that's a long time to be apart, especially from the person you love. But Elizabeth, think how much fun it'll be getting to know one another again, of all the lost time we can make up for."

Simon suddenly pulled Elizabeth to him, his hands caressing and squeezing her buttocks. Elizabeth squirmed in disgust as she was felt Simon grinding his bulging arousal against her inner thighs. She gasped horrified, trying desperately to pull out of his grasp, whilst he continued kissing her passionately on the lips.

Furious at what'd just happened; Elizabeth pushed Simon off, whilst struggling to maintain her dignity, mindful that they weren't alone.

She realised however, by the sudden silence and the few sniggers she overheard, that it hadn't gone unnoticed.

"What the hell do think you're doing?" Elizabeth hissed furiously.

Simon eyes went dark, and for a split second, Elizabeth thought she caught a glimpse of the old Simon, before it quickly vanished.

"I'm sorry it's just... it's been so long since I've seen you, "pleaded Simon."It's all I've thought about on the journey here."

"That was highly inappropriate considering where we are," "retorted Elizabeth angrily."I've told you how I feel." Elizabeth stopped to draw breath feeling her skin crawl in disgust, before continuing. "However, this isn't the time, or the place to have this discussion. Now, if you will excuse me l have work to do. Carson will be waiting for you; we will discuss this after dinner tonight. Be at my office for 8pm."

Giving Elizabeth an annoyed look, Simon sneered, "Just tell me one think. Is there someone else?"

This took Elizabeth by surprise, she hesitated before replying. "No Simon, but two years apart is too long for any relationship to survive."

She looked at him, praying he wouldn't be able to see through her lie. She hated lying, but she knew if she told Simon the truth it would only complicate matters; things could quickly become ugly and out of hand.

Thankfully, Simon never was any good at deciphering what she was thinking. Elizabeth knew she couldn't afford to let him know about John, not when she knew how vindictive Simon could be.

Opening his mouth to say something, Simon suddenly thought better of it and instead asked Elizabeth for directions to the infirmary.

They parted company, leaving Elizabeth wondering what she was going to say to John.

She realised she'd have to find him quickly and explain to him, before the Atlantis gossip network got to him first. With that she turned to leave, speaking frantically into her earpiece. When Elizabeth realised John had no intention of acknowledging her, she knew she'd have to try and track him down. This, Elizabeth knew, wasn't going to be easy. There were so many places on Atlantis John could go to avoid a confrontation.

Elizabeth had been searching for John for about twenty minutes, discreetly questioning other staff members about John's whereabouts, without any success. Getting more and more anxious at her inability to track him down, Elizabeth was on the verge of giving up her search when it dawned on her, she knew where to find him.

Five minutes later, Elizabeth found her intuition had been correct. John stood dejected on the balcony of the east pier, a secluded spot that not many people ever ventured out to. Quietly sliding the door shut behind her Elizabeth glanced at John, her heart sinking as she realised he wasn't in the right frame of mind to listen to reason. She knew his stance well enough, it was indicating to her to back off, leave well alone. Elizabeth also realised she couldn't do so; she needed to try and sort out the mess she'd made of their relationship.

"John ...let me explain... please" Elizabeth started, but was quickly halted by John as he suddenly whipped round a thunderous expression on his face

"So what's your explanation, for what I just witnessed?" John said his voice low but dangerous.

Elizabeth gasped, even more worried now. She'd never seen John this angry.

"Well… are you going to answer me" John sneered, taking another step towards her.

Backing away from John fearfully, Elizabeth collided hard with an unnoticed table, forcing a painful whimper out of her.

John ignored her obvious pain and discomfort, too consumed with the over whelming fury he felt at this precise moment.

"Was I just a way to get rid of you sexual frustration, with your fiancé been so far away?" John said viciously. "Did you get fed up providing your own relief for the sexual frustration you were feeling? Was I just a stand in until you could convince your fiancé to join you?" John spewed out vindictively, letting all his hurt and anger stream out.

Elizabeth couldn't believe what she was hearing, the horrible things John was saying, and it hurt her deeply.

"God... John..." Elizabeth cried on the verge of tears. "Is that what you really think, that I'd be so shallow, so heartless to do that to you? I understood you'd a higher opinion of me than that".

"What I think of you!" replied John. What I felt for you Elizabeth was obviously of no consequence, you have certainly proved that beyond any fragment of doubt?" John continued sneering, "What is it, do you get off on using people Dr Weir, is that how you get your kicks?"

Elizabeth's tears quickly turned to anger; he hadn't even let her try and explain. What he had said had really hurt; she couldn't believe he would think she'd be so heartless.

"You obviously have no intention of letting me explain John. You could at least have the decency, to listen to my side of things," Elizabeth shouted.

"What is there to explain? The situation was made very clear by your fiancé," John retorted.

"John I love you. You know I do," cried Elizabeth. "What Simon said, it's not what you think, were not even engaged. Please I need to explain."

"Well... you have a funny way of showing it" snapped John, as another piece of information he had overheard, came back to haunt him. "Just shut up Elizabeth, every word you utter is just digging a bigger hole."

Elizabeth looked at John in hurt dismay, what more could she do to convince him.

"You have the nerve to stand there and say you love me!" John continued, his voice shaking with emotion, the colour having completely drained from his face. "Yet not half an hour ago, you were making out with your fiancé, in the middle of the gate room."

Elizabeth gasped her hand flying to her mouth. She tried to protest, but the words refused to leave her mouth.

"From what I've heard, it would've been blue rated, if you hadn't realised you were in the middle of the gate room. Why that should have stopped you..."

Elizabeth furiously went to slap John, but he quickly intersected, catching her hand in a painful grip, causing Elizabeth to cry out in pain, before bursting into tears.

"It's not... please John... it's not what you think. John ....I was going to tell you about Simon. "Elizabeth's body shook with despair as she tried in vain to suppress her tears "It never seemed the right time and the longer it became the harder it got. John..."Elizabeth looked up at John, hoping she could break through the invisible barrier he had encased himself in. "I finally realised that I had to resolve the situation, so I wrote Simon a letter."

Elizabeth was sobbing now, unable to hold back the tears any longer.

"In it I told him that I was in love with you. I told him l wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, if you'd have me." Elizabeth paused for a moment, "I am so sorry..., but he didn't get the letter John. It was going with the mail, on the Daedalus return trip today. I'd no idea he'd just turn up out of the blue."

John was wondering how much more of this he could stick around and listen to. He needed to get away from this 'fast'.

"John... please...please believe me!" pleaded Elizabeth "I don't love Simon, I'm head over heels in love with you."

"I don't know whether you're trying to fool yourself, or me, but it's not working Elizabeth." John knew he had to get away, to allow himself to think, to deal with what'd happened.

John's heart had been ripped apart by Simon speech. He wasn't in any mood now to hear more lies from Elizabeth.

"I can't stand here listening to your lies Elizabeth. I really can't deal with this right now," John told her his disgust evident. He then reached for door ready to make his escape.

"John, no...Please... you've got to believe me" Elizabeth sobbed as the tears streamed down her face,

Elizabeth felt her heart was going to break; she couldn't bear the thought of John ending their relationship. She knew if he left now it'd be over.

"Please... John?" Elizabeth begged tormented" I don't know what I'll do if ... if you don't believe me. I'll be lost without you" Don't go.

Elizabeth unable to stand the pain, sunk to the ground sobbing inconsolably, as she noted the open the door, she'd failed.

She'd lost him. He didn't believe her. It was over.

John stopped when he saw Elizabeth collapse, suddenly feeling ashamed. Realising finally the genuine distress Elizabeth was in; he sighed and returned, lifting her into his arms.

"Hush... It's ok... we'll sort this out". John said trying to soothe her.

"Promise... me... sobbed Elizabeth terrified, her eyes now red and puffy from the tears that'd fallen."

John gently rocked Elizabeth in his arms, feeling her curling up against him, as if she was frightened he'd disappear. She was still sobbing, although quieter now.

"Elizabeth honey, come on look at me. I'm not going anywhere." John tenderly pushed a damp curl out of her face.

"Don't...finish please." Was the only response John could get out of her.

"I'm not going to finish with you" John gently confirmed as he continued to stroke her curls.

John sat holding Elizabeth quietly in his arms, until she'd calmed down. Eventually, John was able to get her to sit up and he kissed her gently on the forehead.

He gently wiped the tears from her cheeks whilst smiling at her. "There you are. Feeling better now?"

Elizabeth looked at him shyly and nodded her head.

"We'll need to talk about this Elizabeth," John told her gently but firmly "You can't keep something of this magnitude from me, you really should've told me sooner."

"I know..." answered Elizabeth, still subdued "John I'm really sorry I'll never do anything to hurt you like that again."

"I realise that, but we need to discuss this some more," John told her. "Just not right now. I'll come see you in your quarters tonight, after Caldwell has left." "In the mean time, you'd better put Simon straight" John's tone was firm, but also displayed kindness.

"I said I'd speak to him after dinner, in my office," replied Elizabeth. "I've already told him, that I'm not in love with him anymore."

Elizabeth clutched John's hand, looking at him with eyes filled with sadness and remorse, at what'd taken place. "I'm so sorry John I never meant to hurt you, that's the last thing I wanted to happen."

"It's okay, you can show me how sorry you are, when we meet in your room tonight," smirked John, his eyes showing more softness and acceptance towards Elizabeth. "For now though, you'd better go clean yourself up, we need to get back to work, before Caldwell suspects something."

Elizabeth thought back, remembering the look displayed in Caldwell's eyes. She felt inclined to mention this to John.

Elizabeth couldn't get rid of the horrible feeling, that Caldwell already suspected something. Elizabeth decided to leave it for now however, but would mention it when the met later that night.

As they stopped outside of Elizabeth's quarters, neither was aware of a presence lurking in the shadows.

John squeezed Elizabeth's hand. "We're going to be okay. Remember I'll see you in your quarters later tonight. Most of Atlantis should've retired for the night by then."

"Okay I'll be waiting for you. What time?" Elizabeth asked

Then John frowned as he remembered something, "O darn I forgot. Rodney was on about getting me to help him with something or other. I'll need to pay him a visit first; hopefully I'll convince him it can wait till later. Do you mind waiting up for me, I'll come as soon as l can. Everything should be quiet by then, and Colonel Caldwell will be gone. Just make sure you tell Simon, the poor guy has a right to know."

Elizabeth, after first glancing to make sure no one was watching, gave John a quick peck on the lips. John laughed, and then swatted her butt before they parted company.

The figure in the shadows, who'd witnessed the couple's obvious intimacy, was seething.

_So that's what_ _the bitch has been up to._ Well I'm going to take the wind out of her sails; no one plays dirty with me. By the time I'm finished, Sheppard won't be able to stand being within two feet of the bitch.

With that he skulked away, already formulating a plan that would instigate, the devastating fall of Dr Elizabeth Weir.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

Elizabeth was exhausted by the time she reached her room. Realising she'd some time to spare until John arrived; Elizabeth decided a shower would help ward off, some of her exhaustion. She could then get changed and relax for a bit whilst she waited for John to appear. She guessed she was going to have a lot of making up to do, but it would be worthwhile.

She was feeling better in herself now, especially since her talk with Simon. This had gone better than she'd anticipated. He eventually seemed to accept, that there was no relationship left to cling to and instead was making arrangements to return to earth. There was nothing here for him now, so there was no point in staying.

Elizabeth was ecstatic; she didn't relish the idea of bumping in to Simon at every turn. She'd been pleasantly surprised by the change in him. The man she knew, prior to Atlantis, wouldn't have accepted the situation so readily.

Whatever demons that'd tormented Simon in the past, now seemed to be a peace. Elizabeth was relieved, for Simon's sake as well as her own. It appeared the counselling session he'd had undergone, had been successful.

She'd been a little fearful of their meeting tonight, anxious of his reaction. Elizabeth admitted to herself it was Simon's unpredictable reactions, that'd prevented her from telling him in person she was leaving for Atlantis. Elizabeth hadn't dare mention this side of him to John, she knew how protective John was, where she was concerned, and this would only complicate matters further. There was no need now anyway, Simon would be leaving soon, and things could get back to normal.

Elizabeth entered her room, had her shower, and then got changed into her pyjamas. She stretched out on her bed, to relax with a book she was reading, and the cup of decaffeinated coffee, some kind person had made for her.

A short while later she was finding it difficult to read, as she kept drifting off to sleep. Elizabeth blamed it on to the exhausting events of the last few hours. She was therefore grateful for the distraction, when she heard a knock at the door;

Elizabeth felt strange as she went to open her door, she felt uneasily drowsy, and disorientated. It was probably due to the many emotions and turmoil, she'd undergone today. At least she'd have John to look out for her, if the effects of everything dragged her down.

She pulled the release lever on her door, to allow him entry, and then opened her door to greet him. "Why do you always insist on getting me...?"

Elizabeth suddenly stopped, mid conversation, as she realised it wasn't John standing in her doorway.

"What... why are you here?" asked Elizabeth, in confusion.

Her visitor didn't answer, instead pushing his way into Elizabeth's quarters, knocking her over in the process.

"Get out; you have no right to be in here!" Elizabeth rose up furiously, and attempted to prevent him from getting any further into her room. "Get out now!"

As she got up she staggered, suddenly feeling very afraid. The expression on her intruder's face terrified her, and that terror increased tenfold, when he shut and bolted her door, locking her in with him.

"You really should watch what you're drinking; you never know what's in it," her intruder sneered at her.

"What do you think you're playing at?" Elizabeth demanded, trying to maintain a strong front whilst inside she was trembling. "What do you want, how dare you just walk into my quarters!"

"Elizabeth... Elizabeth...! Do you really think I'd let you off so easily? Tut... tut... really I thought I'd trained you better than that. So let me see, what punishment fits the crime?"

Before Elizabeth could even think of defending herself he lunged, taking her by surprise. He punched her in the stomach, causing Elizabeth to double up in agony, unable to stop the scream that was wretched from her.

As she desperately tried to crawl out of his reach, Elizabeth suddenly felt excruciating pain, burning through her scalp, as he grabbed a handful of her curls and yanked her to her feet.

'Let go' ..." shouted Elizabeth, trying to prize his hands away as a searing pain surged through her scalp.

"Did you really think I'd allow you to simply walk away?" snarled her attacker. "Did you think I was going to let a heartless bitch make a fool of me, without reaping the consequences?"

Elizabeth tried in vain to get free of the vice like grip, but it only resulted in her falling forwards, pain radiating through her body as her knees connected painfully with the floor.

He pulled her up and threw her so she was half on the bed face down. Elizabeth tried desperately to reach behind her, to stop the inevitable, as she realised with terror what her attacker had in mind for her. This was all in vain however; instead she could only sob horrified, as he cruelly yanked her pyjama bottoms down her thighs, intent in extracting devastation, humiliation, and pain from his victim.

"No... No don't...! Please...! Not that please!" Elizabeth begged him, sobbing hysterically. Anything but that...please stop no... Stop!"

Her attacker only laughed at her, and instead of stopping flipped her over, ripping her pyjama top off as he did so, leaving him leering at her as she now lay naked before him.

"Well this is a sight I've fantasised about, on many a lonely night," Elizabeth's attacker said, revelling in the terror his victim was experiencing. "This I'm going to enjoy."

Elizabeth continued to sob in despair. She prayed, someone on hearing her terrified cries, would come to her aid. Elizabeth also knew however, due to the excellent soundproofing the ancients had insisted on, when they created Atlantis, that no help would be forthcoming. All she could do was lie shivering in fear, as her tormentor executed his revenge.

"Seeing the pain and disgust on your face...," Elizabeth's tormentor stopped briefly, so he could enjoy the many emotions, flashing through Elizabeth's face. "Knowing you're helpless to stop me, no matter what I do to you, this make the humiliation you've put 'me' through all the more worthwhile."

Elizabeth fought against him but in vain. _This isn't happening, _please let me wake up; let me find it has been a horrible nightmare. She realised however, even as these thoughts ran through head, this wasn't something she'd awaken from. This was real. The pounding of her heart, the feelings of utter revulsion, the pain from his hands as the cruelly exploited her body, told her so.

"Don't worry Elizabeth, you won't remember any of this later," her attacker informed her.

Elizabeth looked at him confused, but he continued, smirking, "Colonel Sheppard will though when he sees you lying naked beside me."

Gasping in horror, Elizabeth realised what this was in aid of. How could she have been so stupid to believe he had given in so easily? To put her trust in him, she should have known better! "Please stop, I'm sorry," Elizabeth pleaded. "I didn't mean any harm please... let me go please."

Elizabeth tried to struggle frantically again, desperate to get away from him. His grip on her only intensified however; the more she struggled, leaving Elizabeth utterly exhausted and weak.

The intruder grabbed Elizabeth hair causing her to gasp once more in pain, then forced her head up slightly so she had to look into his cruel face. "You should have told me about him Elizabeth, but instead you chose to lie. Now you will pay the consequences."

Elizabeth struggled to breathe, as sobs racked through her body. She realising with finality, there was no way out for her. This was going to happen and John wasn't here to save her. The last think Elizabeth remembered was crying for John, praying he would forgive her, then the feeling of utter devastation, as Simon cruelly entered her, his violation of her now complete. Elizabeth then sunk into the blackness that was oblivion.

* * *

John groaned, '_finally' I've_ escaped Rodney clutches._ Elizabeth will be thinking I've got lost_. John sighed, as he realised he didn't have time to take the shower, he had promised himself. Never mind he though, I can always persuade Elizabeth to make up to me in the shower

He chuckling to himself _I hope she realises that if she's fallen asleep, she'll be pleasantly awakened, she's got one hell of a making up to do._

He finally reached her door, but instead of knocking like he usually did, punched in the security code to allow him in to Elizabeth's quarters. That'll stop her moaning, about having to get up and open the door, thought John.

What he found when he entered Elizabeth quarters however... made him want to throw up in disgust. There, lying in full view without taking any measures to hide the fact lay Elizabeth, totally naked, curled up and fast asleep, beside the one person she had denied having feelings for. Why had he allowed Elizabeth to make a fool out of him once again? Why'd he allowed her back into his heart?

It was obvious by the scene before him, that she'd once again deceived him. The evidence was there in front of him, by the obvious intimacy between the two, by Simon's possessive hand on Elizabeth's breast, by the repulsive smell of sex.

_Why..., how could she do it_? John was disgusted, and about to walk out of the room when Simon seemingly sensing someone in the room, rolled over before smirking at John; "Sorry buddy, but she chose me over you. She could've picked a better way of informing you I guess." Simon yawned "Afraid that's my Lizzie for you, never likes to do things by half."

Simon paused allowing the full impact to sink in before continuing. He could sense the inner turmoil John was feeling and knew with satisfaction his plan had worked to perfection.

"Guess you didn't know her as well as you though you did." Simon gave Elizabeth a nudge, "Lizzie... wake up... John doesn't look too pleased at finding us in bed together." He laughed before continuing "l thought you were going to ask him to join us?"

Elizabeth stirred, before turning round confused, she couldn't think straight. She knew something was off, but at first she couldn't think what it was and the fuzziness she was feeling in her head didn't help.

She shook her head slightly, trying to get things into focus. Elizabeth froze in horror, as her vision cleared enough for her to realise she was in bed with Simon but how, why_. What... how... the hell.... did l get... what is he doing here._ She didn't like the sinking feeling she was experiencing, she was on the verge of emptying her stomach contents all over the bed.

Suddenly she sensed another presence in the room, felt the coldness that surround it, tentacles spiralling from the source of the coldness, consuming the whole room, and as her vision cleared the reason for that became crystal clear.

John stood staring at her his face distorted with an expression she'd seen before; an expression she never thought would be directed at her. It was present when he faced an enemy that had bestowed a fatal or terrible injury on one of his fellow Atlanteans. An expression he only portrayed, as he was about to deal a fatal blow, as retribution. Now that expression was directed at her, and Elizabeth knew that their relationship was dead. As dead as the death she knew John wished upon her. It was a waste of emotions however, as without John in her life; Elizabeth knew she'd no longer be alive anyway.

Elizabeth had always been good at delivering words, after all she was a diplomat, but with increasing dismay, Elizabeth realised even if she delivered her best speech to date, it'd still not be enough. There was no hope of talking her way out of this one; any speech she gave would be doomed to failure.

"Don't even try, to lie your way out of this one. It won't work!" John snarled his voice consumed with hate. "Don't... dare..! Say a word!"

Elizabeth stared at John, knowing what the outcome of this would be, but still confused as to why. Why would she do such a terrible thing to John, to their relationship?

"I've heard all l every want to hear from you". John continued, his voice quiet but dangerous. "So just don't ... because I'm barely keeping myself in check. So, if you value your life don't say a word....!"

John looked at her coldly, longing to escape the room." All l have got to say is either, you're leaving Atlantis, or I am. If you have any decency left you'll know who should leave."

With that John then turning to Simon, "Your welcome to the lying bitch, you've just given me a lucky escape".

He turned without another word, vacating the room, leaving Elizabeth's door wide open, not caring if the devastation that had occurred in the room, was displayed for anyone to see.

Elizabeth lay back in shock, not believing what had just happened. She wanted to run after John, say something although she knew not what. It would be a non starter though she knew John well enough not to push him any further.

Elizabeth trembled in shame as a something else intruded her already troubled thoughts. She couldn't have. Nothing would have made her do it, not when it was John she'd been longing for, but she couldn't deny the dull throbbing between her legs. Why, how... she was confused, but there's no way she'd not remember doing '_that'._

Then reality hit Elizabeth with so much intensity, that she felt the weight that descended suddenly on her chest was about to crush her. John had walked in, realised she'd slept with Simon. After all she had promised him, all she had denied. She had begged his forgiveness, for what, to suddenly betray him in the worst way possible.

Elizabeth was crying now as she though, I _told him I loved him. I still do so why would I sleep with Simon, if only I could remember? How could I hurt John like that?_

No answer was forthcoming, no reasonably explanation could she find. Elizabeth sobbed heart brokenly as she realised there was no going back. _John will never forgive me. _How could he, when I know I'll never be able to forgive myself.

* * *

Simon looked at Elizabeth taking in her distress, but showing no remorse; in fact he smirked as he thought of the look on Johns face. He'd done what he set out to do; he'd ruined the relationship between Elizabeth and her so called lover. Shattered it in to a million pieces, Lizzie belonged to him no one else.

He was delighted he'd overheard their conversation. It'd been so enlightening, especially after deciding to return home to earth. Until he realised she was fucking the Colonel. That deserved to be avenged, and avenge it he had. He turned his attention to Elizabeth.

"Well guess you will be coming home, on the Daedalus return trip then?" Simon casually asked the traumatised Elizabeth "You can return to the life you left behind."

* * *

She looked at him without seeing him, the nodding of her head the only acknowledgement she'd heard him. Elizabeth was beyond caring, her life was finished. She has destroyed the only man who had ever really loved her. She deserved to be punished, if that meant returning with Simon, to the horrible life she had before then that's what she'd have to do. She couldn't even contemplate the idea of remaining on Atlantis whilst John returned to earth leaving his home, friends and work behind and for something that he'd played no part in. No, she was the guilty one, so if it came that one of them must leave Elizabeth would go, no matter the heart break it would cause her.

Simon had left her to spend, what was left of the night and early morning on her own. She'd been unable to sleep, spending most of it crying, rocking back and forth. She'd harboured the temptation to end the pain by taking the coward's way out. This was quickly relegated back to the depths of from where it'd arisen; Elizabeth's face aflame at the mere thought such cowardice. .She'd caused John enough pain already; she couldn't add the guilt of her death to that also.

Elizabeth felt she had to try and speak to John, but what would, what could she say. How could she expect him to understand, when she didn't know why she had done it herself. Had she been drunk, but she couldn't remember taking a drink_. O why is it such a blur._

Finally it was morning, after taking a shower she decided, she'd no option but face the trouble she had caused, first she had to get herself a coffee to steady her nerves and help her at least semi-function. Hopefully no one would be about yet.

She quickly made her way to the mess hall, thankfully not passing anyone on the way there. She'd just reached to get a cup for her coffee when she heard familiar voices. Spinning around in dismay, Elizabeth realised she'd stupidly missed John and his team, concealed in a corner of the mess hall.

She quickly realised with a sinking feeling that her entrance hadn't gone unnoticed noticed. The hairs of her neck stood up as she heard increasing commotion coming from their table. As a few vindictive words floated down to within earshot of her, Elizabeth realised, with rising panic, they knew of the terrible events that'd transpired the previous night.

John rose from his chair, at the same time spouting abuse. Abuse that made her feel so embarrassed, so ashamed, that she wanted to curl up and die.

However as John went to storm past her, she couldn't resist trying to reach out to him with her hand."John ...please let me try to..." but before she could say anything else, John turned on her furiously, pushing her away from him.

The force of it sent her reeling backwards and before she could stop herself she fell, causing her head to collide hard against the wall. She cried out as her head exploded with excruciating pain, causing John to fleetingly halt and look back in concern, but then he stormed out leaving her sprawled on the floor.

The rest of the team also got up to go after John. Ronon drew a filthy look, full of contempt, before going after John. Teyla looked at her, shaking her head in disbelief. "How could you be so cruel Elizabeth, do you realise what you've done to him?" she turned without saying another word, following Ronon in their search for John.

Elizabeth turned tearfully to Rodney, who was watching her, unable to hide his distaste or disappointment in her.

"Why Elizabeth... Why did you do it?" Rodney eventually asked her. "Please tell me that you have a good reason for what you did!" Rodney paused trying to hide his obvious discomfort. "Try..., try to make me understand. Why would you ruin a relationship that everyone here was rooting for, help cover for you? Just tell me so I can try and understand."

Rodney's next words made Elizabeth even more ashamed, the regret even more intense.

"Do you know... he was going to ask you to marry him, he'd it all planned out?"

Elizabeth looked to the ground, her sobs coming out in short painful bursts, as she struggled to deal with what Rodney was telling her, how she'd longed for the moment John would ask her to marry him. It'd seemed inevitable that their relationship would reach that goal...'until'... her betrayal of last night.

For a moment Rodney felt sorry for the sobbing woman he thought of as a friend, as well as leader. Elizabeth come on, there must be some kind of sane explanation for this. "If you can make me understand maybe... just maybe l can help you."

Elizabeth could only whisper dejectedly "Rodney I don't know why, I wish I could find an answer too, but I can't; I really don't know why I did this to John, it scares me that I can't remember sleeping with Simon. Rodney l still love John please help... "

Rodney cut her off, feeling his compassion change to one of anger, shaking his head in disgust.

"Have you listened to yourself Elizabeth?" Rodney asked her angrily. "How can you sit there, saying you don't have a reason for why you did it, trying to worm your way out of it by trying to get me to believe you're suffering from some kind of amnesia. John told us the gory details; the full depths of your betrayal so don't try and convince me you still care for John? Elizabeth you're a hypocrite and you don't deserve to have the love of someone like John."

Rodney started to rise not wanting to hear anymore, but halted, horrified when he realised Elizabeth was actually hurt, and was getting paler by the minute. Rodney realised guiltily, that she'd been bleeding profusely from a head wound all this time, and he hadn't even noticed. He quickly got on his radio to get assistance from Carson. The Scottish doctor was there within minutes having noted the fear in Rodney tone.

Rodney explained to Carson how Elizabeth had sustained her injury. He stayed around just long enough, to make sure they got Elizabeth safely onto the hospital stretcher, and then left her with Carson. Although worried about her injury, Rodney couldn't bear to be in her presence any longer, he wanted to find John, to see how his friend was bearing up.

* * *

Carson sighed as he observing his trembling patient. As he settled her into a bed in the infirmary, she continued to sob inconsolably.

"Eh lass what have you done? Now lie back, let me have a look at that head of yours, that's a nasty bump you've given yourself". Carson gently helped her lie down, while observing how pale she looked. "Elizabeth You're going to have to stay here today, so I can keep an eye on you"

"Now lie back and rest, I'll be back in a minute to take some blood from you."

Carson observed her silently for a minute; He had heard what happened between Elizabeth and john. He also knew he couldn't afford to think any less off Elizabeth, but he was having difficulty understanding.

He always prided himself on being a good judge of characters. Carson always thought that Elizabeth personality shone with fairness and honesty and strength, that there was also gentleness about her that he couldn't help but admire. This to him was so totally out of character.

"Elizabeth..." Carson paused uncomfortable and not sure how to proceed. "Elizabeth is there anything you want to talk about. Something you're too frightened to speak to the others about..."Carson stopped, disturbed at the lack of reaction from Elizabeth "Do you want to talk about what happened lass?"

Elizabeth shook her head, remaining silent_._

"Okay..." Carson sighed, disappointed "but try and rest, l will instruct one of the nurses to bring you pain relief, you'll need it I'm afraid, you're going to have one whopper of a headache."

Carson cast Elizabeth another worried glance, realising he wasn't going to get anything further out of her. In fact Elizabeth hadn't said anything at all.

He shook his head as he went to arrange, retrieving a sample of her blood, but even this, when he returned, was done in silence. He realised Elizabeth had retreated into herself, and wouldn't be lowering the shell; she had build around herself, anytime some. He sighed _frustrated at the awareness that if she doesn't want help there wasn't much he could do to help her. _

* * *

Ronon and Teyla were with John, when Rodney found them. Rodney could see his normally emotionally strong and courageous friend had been in tears.

"Is Elizabeth ok? I didn't mean to hurt her, I just couldn't bear her touch" asked John clearly worried.

"She was a little dizzy and dripping blood everywhere, but she is in the infirmary with Carson, who says she's going to be fine." Rodney told him quietly.

"Tell me why she did it Rodney?" John looked at Rodney, in anguish. How could she do it? Heck I got her a ring. I was going to ask her to marry me. I thought she wanted that the same as I did.

John continued, getting more distressed with each word he spoke "How... could l have got it so wrong tell me that? Did she cover up the real Elizabeth, only allowing us to see what she wanted us to see, hiding her true cold personality?"

"I wish I could give you an answer John, one that will make you feel better," replied Rodney "but I can't understand it myself. My god... I don't... I really don't believe she does either."

Rodney looked at his friend, saddened at the affect this was having on him. John looked gutted; completely devastated, by the loss he was feeling.

"John we will always be here for you," Teyla informed him gently as well as taking his hand "any time you need to talk, or simply need company. You're family, as well as a friend."

"I thought she was my friend, as well as my lover" said john "I guess I was wrong".

The rest of John's team, his friends always, looked at one another, each swearing a silent oath. They would stand by John, protect, and comfort him, till he was whole again, each despising Elizabeth for what she had done.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter five

Two weeks had passed, since John had found her in bed with Simon. The devastation and horror she felt hadn't lessened, if anything it had grown in intensity. Elizabeth now dreaded walking the halls of Atlantis. The place she had once thought of as home, had become her prison, a place of hostility and anger.

She no longer had a family to care for, or to be cared by. She no longer had the protection of John's embrace, his fierce determination, to protect her at all cost. That was no longer an option now, in its place there was only hate.

Elizabeth could no longer accompany them on diplomatic missions, no one wanted the task of protecting her, and she didn't want to go through the embarrassment, of having to beg for a team to accompany her.

The ability to carry out her duties effectively was rapidly deteriorating, as more and more of the Atlanteans were made aware, of the full depth, of Elizabeth's betrayal. The people whom she had always regarded as her closest friends, her family, now treated her like she were a stranger to them, or cruelly rejected her.

Loneliness and isolation became her closest companions, having no one to speak to constantly left her depressed. The only ones that spoke to her were Simon or sometimes Carson in a fashion.

Elizabeth knew, Carson had tried his hardest, to help her that day in the infirmary. If she had only opened up to him, then she would most likely have an ally now. Elizabeth often regretted not allowing Carson to help her, but she had been so confused, so disgusted in herself, that she had not taken the olive branch offered by him. It probably wouldn't have done any good anyway, as Elizabeth wasn't any clearer as to why it happened today, as to when it first occurred.

Now Carson would only speak to her if she asked him something, but Elizabeth would catch him looking at her sometimes, shaking his head sadly, before continuing with what he was doing. It caused an intense ache in Elizabeth's heart, as she recognised the disappointment Carson felt, the same disappointment in Elizabeth that everyone else felt.

How Elizabeth missed the companionship, and conversations with Teyla. She missed Rodney's many complaints, and snide remarks. Ronon's looks that said it all, his lack of conversation, which somehow told you all he wanted to say.

Most of all she missed the love, the friendship; she had with John. Elizabeth missed everything that turned John, into Colonel Sheppard, and that which turned Colonel Sheppard, into John. She missed her life as it had been. Now she didn't have a life, only an existence.

As word of Elizabeth betrayal travelled around Atlantis like wild fire, she gradually lost the respect of each and everyone on Atlantis. The Atlanteans saw it as a betrayal, not only of John's love for her, but also as a betrayal against all that she had ever stood for, a betrayal against the leadership she had portrayed.

Fellow Atlanteans be they military, or civilian, would comment about her as she passed, their intention to hurt her, with the very means she used to previously instil peace, by the use of words.

Sometimes the remarks directed at her, were so offensive, that on a bad day Elizabeth would find herself back in her room in tears, unable to deal with the vindictiveness showered on her.

The final straw came when an argument broke out in the gate room.

Tension within Atlantis, had been slowly building up to the inevitable eruption of violence, the close knit community was no more, and relationships were more volatile. It was as if the division between Elizabeth and John had widened, engulfing the whole of Atlantis, creating something black and bad.

When the first explosion of violence did occur, Elizabeth had no option but to step in, trying to prevent anyone from being hurt, but when she went to stop it, she was pushed against the wall and threatened. To say she was afraid was an understatement, she knew no one would step into help her.

Elizabeth was only prevented from serious injury, or danger, by the timely arrival of John and his team. Having just stepped through the stargate as the violence erupted; they were quickly able to break up the argument, allowing her to escape, shaking to the safety of her room.

After that, Elizabeth only ever ventured out of her room to go to her office or to get something to eat, when she knew she would be alone.

Eventually Elizabeth came to a decision; the situation on Atlantis couldn't be allowed to continue. Atlantis was suffering because of her. Elizabeth realised she couldn't put her departure of any longer, that if she didn't hand in her resignation she would be sacked anyway. She was under no doubt that as soon as the SGC and the IOA heard of the situation they would remove her.

On her next scheduled check in with the SGC, she arranged for her replacement. Afterwards she returned to her room, weeping for all she had gained, all she had lost since coming to Atlantis, for she would be aboard the Deagulus on its next voyage to earth, which was bringing with it the new commander of Atlantis.

The day that Elizabeth left Atlantis, was the saddest day of her life. When she looked back, to imprint Atlantis forever in her memory, she felt her heart was being ripped apart. All she wanted to do was to run back, to be with John, to beg for his forgiveness, to once again be in the safety of his arms, but she knew that could never be.

No one had come to say good bye not even Carson. As she was beamed aboard the Daedalus, she remembered the joy she had felt, when she had first stepped through the wormhole, to materialise on Atlantis. It had strangely felt like she was coming home and it quickly had become a home to her.

Little did she know then, that within two years, she would once again be leaving behind her home, the difference being, she had grown to love Atlantis, as she had never loved her home, back on earth. Now she was leaving that love behind, after having disgraced not only herself, but having disappointed and betrayed, each and every one. she had sworn to lead.

She would have gladly changed it all, to leave a fallen hero of this great city. What would the parents of all these brave souls, who had fallen for Atlantis, think of her!

She imagined they would gladly see her thrown in prison, or have her handed over to the wraith, to be fed upon. She would not blame them if they did; she had disgusted and disappointed herself also.

She deserved any punishment, which life would now bestow on her. With that she turned her back, on the city that had meant so much to her, that had promised so much to her, for her to but fail it.

tbc

.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

Elizabeth lay awake as Simon snored beside her. She had been back on earth for six months, and there were days, when she couldn't lift herself from the depression that was part of her life now.

On their return to earth, Elizabeth had been an emotional wreck, and it had fallen to Simon to make decisions for her. Simon had used this to his advantage, finding them somewhere to live, where he knew Elizabeth would be isolated from anything and anyone she knew.

His sole purpose in life, seemed to be to draw pleasure in doing or saying things that would ensure Elizabeth's mental state, deteriorated even further. Whereas the Simon of pre Atlantis, had seemed to care for Elizabeth in a fashion, the Simon post Atlantis, only seemed interested in finding new ways of tormenting and hurting Elizabeth.

With each day, he was becoming increasingly controlling; Elizabeth was terrified of setting him of in to one of his moods. She had come to realise, that his moods were gradually becoming, more and more unpredictable. He would lash out for no reason; Elizabeth had been on the receiving end of his anger more than once. Afterwards she would stay hidden in the house, until the bruises had faded, or could be hidden with makeup.

Elizabeth had tried to speak to him once about it, tried to suggest he seek help, but the consequences for her were severe. The feeling she had experienced that night had never left her. She still could feel the terror that engulfed her when he had picked her up, and without moments regret through her down the stairs.

Flashbacks to that day were forever present. Elizabeth could still feel the terrible pain as she hit the stairs on the way down. The noise of shattered bone, as her arm slammed against the wall, where she finally came to rest. Of Simon stepped over her, showing no remorse for what he had done. This never left her, never would, a constant reminder of what he was capable of.

Tonight Elizabeth lay unhappily in bed, while he had sex with her, not daring to utter a word of complaint. She knew the fact that she was not fully recovered, from a particularly nasty bout of the flu, would be of no consequence to him. No sympathetic words would be showered on her, for this was her life now.

Acceptance of this was not an issue. Elizabeth knew she would take any hurt bestowed on her, as payback however small, for the hurt and damage she herself had caused. This was her punishment.

Elizabeth had heard that John, after briefly going off the rails, had managed to regain some sort of order in his life. To take back some of which Elizabeth had stolen. This was mainly due to the devotion of his friends, and for that she would be eternally grateful.

There was no denying Elizabeth still missed John dreadfully, which resulted in many a sleepless night, as she would frequently lie awake, crying silently to herself. There were so many things about John that Elizabeth ached for, the feel of his hands, as he caressed her body, the comfort of his arms when she was upset or afraid, the feeling of pleasure when he whispered in her ear. These feelings she craved, for dreamt about, but knew she would never feel again.

One tiny comfort that Elizabeth had allowed into her life was the work she now did at the SGC. Elizabeth had General O'Neill to thank for that. She still wasn't sure, what had made Jack reach out to her, when she had returned from Atlantis in disgrace, but she was so glad he had.

To begin with, she wouldn't allow anyone past the barrier she had built, a barrier that was stopping her from emotionally crumbling apart completely. Jack was persistent if nothing else however, and he had eventually succeeded in wearing through her defences.

Jack was the only person, Elizabeth felt she could rely on apart from her mum. Elizabeth however, did not want to risk her mum finding out why she was back living with Simon. The disappointment on her mum's face, if she became aware of how low her daughter had sunk, would be the final nail in the coffin for Elizabeth.

Thinking back to the support Jack had given her, Elizabeth knew without a doubt, if it hadn't been for Jack, she wouldn't have made it through the last six months. Jack had told Elizabeth, that he wasn't going to allow her to waste her expertise and talent. It had taken some doing, but eventually, Elizabeth found herself back working at the SGC under the watchful eye of Jack himself.

Elizabeth suspected, this was also so he could keep an eye on her. He was supposed to be retired, but had decided retirement wasn't for him, complaining about what was he was supposed to do with all that free time.

Simon had not been happy about her working for Jack. This had caused Elizabeth to suffer at Simon's hands, but thankfully he seemed to eventually accept it, although still annoyed.

Elizabeth gladly put up with this however; it had given her something to look forward to, a purpose in life, however small. It also allowed her to keep up to date, on all the happening and events, in the Pegasus galaxy, as Colonel Carter, was now the new military expedition leader of Atlantis. This meant General O'Neill, was frequently updated on any news from Atlantis, and made sure Elizabeth was updated also.

Today Jack was carefully observing Elizabeth, who had her head buried in her work as usual. He frowned angrily when he observed new bruises, something that she had obviously tried to conceal. Jack sighed he knew better than confront her, having tried that previously. Jack fully remembered Elizabeth reaction from that day, she had withdrawn back into herself totally, once again engulfing herself in an impermeable shell, and Jack thought he had lost her again.

Sighing to himself in frustration, Jack thoughts returned to first time he laid eyes on Elizabeth on her return from Atlantis. She had looked so vulnerable, so devastated that Jack decided then and there, that he had to look out for her. This task was made impossible to begin with, by that barrier Elizabeth had put around herself, and for a time Jack thought she was lost to them. Jack had not given up though, steadily chipping away at the barrier, until finally it started to waver and eventually crumple.

Jack knew he had to tread carefully though, knowing Elizabeth was still far from being emotionally stable, that it would only take the slightest slip on Jack's part, for that barrier to be quickly raised again. Jack knew if that happened, Elizabeth would once again be lost to them, this time possibly permanently.

He also noted with concern, how ill Elizabeth looked today. He knew she was still suffering from the effects of the flu, which had temporarily floored her; he also suspected, that she should still be tucked up in bed at home, not working herself into exhaustion.

"Elizabeth..., what in god's name are you doing, you should be tucked up in bed with a hot drink?" Jack scolded

"I'm fine Jack, really, just a bit tired" answered Elizabeth, although she knew she was feeling far from fine.

"Well for goodness sake, go easy l don't relish the prospect of have to retrieve you from the floor!" groaned Jack rubbing his back. "Afraid my back's not up to picking pretty woman of the floor anymore, _mores_'_ the pity._

"Jack... you are retired, you know you don't have to come in here every day. I am sure you just come to keep an eye on me!" laughed Elizabeth "You should be at home with your feet up, enjoying your retirement."

"Why on earth would l want to do that?" Jack glared at Elizabeth clearly indignant. "Where's the fun in that?" Jack rapidly changed the subject, he didn't like talking about his retirement, and it made him feel old. "Enough about me, have you had anything to eat this morning, like l ordered you, or did you rush out of the house again, without any breakfast?" Jack asked, but knowing full well, what the answer would be.

The sheepish look on Elizabeth's face, was answer enough for him.

"Right I'm going to get us some coffee and bagels and you, are going to stop what you're doing, long enough to eat it." Jack told her firmly

"Ok Jack but make the coffee strong" said Elizabeth, realising she wouldn't get any peace until she did as Jack asked.

"Elizabeth... I think l know how to make your coffee by now". After all l have had to do it often enough. "Especially if you won't heed my warning, that you have breakfast before you come to work" said Jack trying to sound cross with her, but failing miserably.

As Jack was getting their coffee, his thoughts went back to Elizabeth. Though he joked with her about her eating habits she did worry him.

Although Jack knew what had happened on Atlantis, and while he never claimed to understand why, neither did he judge Elizabeth. He was like a father figure to her and cared for her greatly.

Jack was also extremely concerned, about the relationship Elizabeth had with Simon. He knew Elizabeth had a hard time at home; he had on a few occasions tried to convince her to leave. Elizabeth however was renowned for being stubborn, and would just wave of Jack's concerns, saying she was quite happy where she was. Jack had seen the bruises that appeared frequently on her, even though she had tried to hide them. Jack had previously paid Simon a visit warning him off the consequences, if he continued to hurt Elizabeth. Simon of course had tried to deny any ill treatment to Elizabeth saying that she was just clumsy and accident prone. Jack however, had left Simon under no doubt, about what he believed to be the cause, of the frequent bruises that appeared on Elizabeth. For a short while the situation appeared to improve, although Jack, suspected Simon, was just simply inflicting punishment on Elizabeth, where it couldn't be seen.

Having seen his sister go through a volatile relationship, Jack knew all the tricks used to hide the bruises. His sister had long since left that relationship, and was now married to a man that adored her. When Jack had asked her advice, she had said, that until Elizabeth was ready to leave, nothing that Jack or anyone else said to her, would make the blind bit difference. Elizabeth had to be the one, to finally make that decision.

Explaining to Emma about the situation with John, Jack had also said, he believed Elizabeth was punishing herself, by staying in a violent relationship.

Emma had replied, that Elizabeth needed to start respecting and believing in herself. Only then would she have the strength and confidence, to pull herself out of the gloom that had become her existence. She also said that as long as Elizabeth had someone like Jack to turn to, when thinks became unbearable, then there was still hope for her.

Jack returned with the coffee and bagels, but was immediately concerned, to find Elizabeth sitting with her head in her hands.

"Elizabeth... what's wrong!" Asked Jack concerned, "You sure you don't want to go home?"

"Just got a bit of a sore head Jack" Elizabeth replied, "l will be fine in a little while."

As Elizabeth looked up, Jack noticed how pale she was.

Sighing deeply, Elizabeth seemed to think for a moment before continuing, "I would just get in Simon's way if I went home. He is working from home today; he needs peace to get his work done."

_So that's the reason you're into day_ thought Jack barely able to keep his anger at Simon under control_. It's time l paid Simon another visit_

"Come get something to eat, then I'm taking you to the infirmary to rest for a while," Jack told her.

"Jack... no!" exclaimed Elizabeth in horror "l will be fine, l just need to take some analgesics"

"Well I'm in a meeting today, but I'm going to ask someone to come and check up on you. lf you're not any better, they will have orders to drag you to the infirmary, kicking and screaming if need be," Jack informed her sternly, "Under orders to keep you there until l get out of the meeting if need be."

"You... wouldn't would you Jack...?" asked Elizabeth, not sure whether to believe him or not.

"O you had better believe it!" retorted Jack "now take these tablets, but if they haven't helped within an hour, you're going to the infirmary"

Taking the tablets from Jack, Elizabeth hoped they would have the desired effect, so she could convince Jack she really didn't need to go visit the infirmary.

"Seriously Elizabeth you don't look well, you have lost a lot of weight" Jack continued the concern evident in his voice. Jack continued, but his voice was softer, "Elizabeth were all worried about you, its time you started taking care of yourself."

"I will Jack; it's just..." she paused for a moment before continuing. "It's just l miss it Jack and it's really hard."

He didn't need to ask, Jack knew Elizabeth was talking about Atlantis.

"You still miss John as well don't you," Jack gently asked her.

Nodding her head, Elizabeth looked up at him, a forlorn expression on her face.

Jack went over to her and put his arm around her.

"Your mum and I are here if you need to talk about it Elizabeth, but you need to let us in, let us help you. You need to let us help you with the situation with Simon as well."

As Elizabeth observed him for a moment, Jack thought he had finally gotten through to her. Then the shutters come down and Jack sighed, realising that once again he had failed to reach her.

"I told you already l fine Jack," Elizabeth told him, but couldn't look him in the eyes.

"Elizabeth are you... are you really because I don't think you are?"

She looked at him then looked away again, "its time l got on with my work Jack."

Jack just shook his head, realising he would need to enlist some help, if he wanted to break through the barriers, that Elizabeth had created.

"Ok but remember what l said. No improvement in an hour and it's to the infirmary for you" Jack scolded her firmly.

"Right Jack, but for now, l have work to do" Elizabeth sighed exasperated.

"Elizabeth you are the most stubborn, and the most infuriating woman I have ever come across," and mumbling to himself, he left Elizabeth to get some work done, but equally determined to drop by the infirmary on the way to his meeting.

Observing Jack's departure Elizabeth was smiling, but this quickly turned to a frown when he was out of sight. She really did feel ill today, and realised that Jack had been right when he said she had lost weight . Elizabeth had noticed it herself, but she never seemed to have much of an appetite these days..

She knew she was going to have to do something about it however because if Jack had noticed, so would her mum and she wouldn't be able to keep them from worrying about her. Elizabeth knew they would insist on her taking time off work, but she needed to be here, she would go mad if she was shut in the house all the time, especially if Simon was at home also.

Groaning to herself, Elizabeth's heart sunk, as she remembered she would have to put up with Simon's friends tonight. They would normally only come round for a few drinks but they worried her slightly. The last couple of times, they were becoming quite rowdy ,which concerned Elizabeth ,as her neighbours were all elderly, and she didn't want to disturb or frighten them.

Elizabeth didn't know what Simon saw in them to be honest; they weren't his normal circle of friends. He had just become friends with one of them, when he attended a party organised by one of the other doctors. It had developed from there, though the only one who was a doctor was Simon.

She decided to try and get back to work. Elizabeth knew she would have to do a good job of convincing, who ever Jack had spoken to, that she didn't need to take a trip to the infirmary.

Sighing she stuck her head back into her paper work, immediately forgetting about Simon and her own problems, her only interest in getting finished, before they tried to whisk her away to the infirmary.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

Jack let out a relieved sigh, as the meeting finally ended. Looking at his watch, he realised with irritation, that he had missed his chance to check on Elizabeth, before she left to go home.

He did take the time however, to drop in and have a chat with the doctor in the infirmary. Although relieved to hear the doctor say Elizabeth had seemed better when he had called to check on her, Jack also knew how convincing Elizabeth could be, when she put her mind to it. Jack decided he would need to decide for himself, when she came into work tomorrow.

Jack felt it was time he had another chat with Elizabeth's mum, Rose, as she was also very concerned about her daughters welfare. Jack had filled Rose in, on some of the problems faced by Elizabeth since her return, although he hadn't went into any details regarding Elizabeth's departure from Atlantis.

Apart from the fact that Rose didn't have the security clearance needed, Jack didn't feel it was his place to tell her what had happened between Elizabeth and John anyway.

Jack also realised how upset Elizabeth would be if she found out he had betrayed her confidence by telling Rose. He did feel however that Elizabeth's fears, of Rose disowning her, if she found out why Elizabeth was back in a relationship with Simon, were unfounded. Jack knew how much Rose loved her daughter, and only wished for her to be happy.

That aside though Jack frequently discussed Elizabeth's situation regarding Simon with Rose as they were worried about the effect it was having on Elizabeth. Between the two of them, they were trying to work out a way, of getting Elizabeth away from Simon, and to keep her safe.

He remembered back to a time not long after Elizabeth had started working at the SGC.

Elizabeth's mum Rose had been called to the hospital, after Elizabeth had been admitted with a broken arm. Simon had coldly refused to go, saying he had a clinic to attend to.

Rose had been horrified when she saw her daughter; she was covered from head to toe in bruises. Elizabeth had said she had fallen down the stairs, but the evidence of something equivalent to fear, present in Elizabeth's voice, had told Rose otherwise.

Rose had contacted Jack to let him know that Elizabeth wouldn't be in at work, and he had come over to see if there was anything Elizabeth needed assistance with. Rose had told Jack her suspicions, who then confirmed that he had observed bruising on Elizabeth previously, but when he questioned her about it she had shrugged him off.

They had tried to get Elizabeth to speak about it, but she had stuck stubbornly to her story. Rose knew better than to try and force the truth out of her daughter, it would only make her resistance even more intense.

Something that had Jack confused, was why, Elizabeth had slept with Simon in the first place, whilst on Atlantis. Especially knowing how she felt about John. He was under no delusion, Jack knew what Elizabeth had with John, was something special, something that should have weathered the passing of time with ease. That was why, Elizabeth was finding it so hard to let go, and Jack doubted she ever would.

Jack had often caught her, seemingly far away, a yearning sad look on her face. He was certain, it was John she was thinking of; Jack had tried to get her to talk about it, without success. She was often so distressed afterwards, that Jack didn't like to be the one who instigated her torment

Another thing, that had him troubled, was how little Elizabeth remembered of that night.

Although at first, Elizabeth had been embarrassed and reluctant to talk about it, as she and Jack became closer she gradually opened up a bit more.

That whole night leading to John coming and discovering her with Simon was a blank. Elizabeth had simply put this down to the trauma of the situation and her mind playing tricks on her. Jack however was not convinced, to him the whole think, was all together to peculiar. Sam when he had spoken to her was of the same opinion but no one on Atlantis would speak of it. In fact to them Elizabeth didn't exist.

Jack knew when any of the Atlantis staff came to the SGC; Elizabeth would stay well out of the way. She didn't want to bump into any of them, to be the cause of any unpleasantness.

Jack was determined however, to have it out with one of Elizabeth previous friends, if they came to earth especially Dr Beckett. Jack knew he had examined Elizabeth, the day after it had happened, and Jack curious to know if Dr Beckett had noticed anything unusual.

For Jack however, the most pressing thing at the moment was Elizabeth's relationship with Simon. Jack knew he had to get that sorted out first, then deal with the rest afterwards.

He decided as he had some time of tomorrow, he would take a trip over to Rose's, to see what could be done.

Jack was even under the thought, that if it meant kidnapping Elizabeth, and physically taking her to her mum's, he would do so, as long as it prevented her from coming to any more harm.

For now however, he put aside his concerned for Elizabeth _she will be the death of me yet _he thought_._

Jack decided he would have a nice relaxing evening, with his feet up, watching the TV, before his peace was shattered by Sam. She was due home for a long awaited week's holiday.

He had just sat down, and tuned into a film he was keen to watch, when his telephone rang. Cursing he thought about ignoring it, but decided against it, reluctantly getting up to answer it.

When Jack put the phone down, all colour had drained from his face. He frantically threw his coat on before grabbing his car keys. He raced over to the one person, whom Jack knew would be devastated by the news he had to deliver. Jack realised she would most likely be in bed, but didn't want to call her. He felt the news he had been given, was better delivered in person.

He arrived 20 minutes later from a journey that normally takes an hour, not even able to recall the journey over. He got out of the car his heart beating furiously, anxious, about the news he had to deliver.

He rang the bell, and waited for the door to open, pacing anxiously backwards, and forwards. When it eventually opened, Elizabeth's mum Rose stood looking at him in confusion.

"Jack... you scared the life out of me, what brings you here at this time of night? Its past one in the morning," asked Rose bewildered and slightly out of breath.

"Rose can l come in a minute" asked Jack

".Of course Jack, where's my manners, sorry come in out of the cold."

Rose suddenly froze, something in Jack expression made her insides turn ice cold and fearful of his reply.

"Jack something's happened hasn't it. Please tell me its nothing's to do with Elisabeth?" exclaimed Rose now very afraid.

. "Rose sit down for a moment," Jack guided Rose to a chair. "Rose... I'm sorry but I receive a call from the police. It seems they were called to Elizabeth's house by her neighbours. They heard shouting and screaming coming from the house and were concerned for Elizabeth."

Rose gasped in shock knowing what ever has happened it had to be bad for Jack to come over to tell her personally. "Jack has something happened to Elizabeth?" asked Rose her fear evident.

"The police found Elizabeth badly beaten, and barely conscious" Jack informed her gently. "Rose... I'm so sorry, but they informed me that Elizabeth is in a bad way, and they advised we get to the hospital quickly" Jack finished in anguish, hating that he was the bearer of such devastating news.

Jack looked at Rose, who was sitting in stunned silence, not sure how she would take the rest of information the police had given him.

Taking hold of rose's hands, Jack delivered the other heart breaking news that had shocked him to the core.

"I'm so sorry Rose they don't expect Elizabeth to make it through the night"

Rose sat in shock, hand over her mouth, tears running down her face, unable to believe what she had just heard.

" No... Jack I can't lose her... Jack she's all l have got, what would l do without her..." cried Rose her voice full of despair.

"We will deal with it... if it happens," said Jack trying to pacify her. "Come on let's get you to the hospital" Jack gently insisted.

The journey to the hospital was made in virtual silence. Neither wanted to voice, what the other was thinking, and the fear of what they would find. What if it was already too late, that Elizabeth had already succumbed to her injuries, by the time they arrived.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

It was a journey that seemed to never end, but eventually they drew into the hospital car park. Jack helped Rose out of the car, but grew increasing concerned as she swayed unsteadily on her feet and looked at Jack in terror her despair evident.

"Jack what... what if she is already dead?" cried Rose, heartbroken. "What if my baby has already gone, I'm terrified... of what they're going to tell us,"

Jack held her for a moment trying to comfort her somewhat, before stepping back and taking her by the shoulders.

"We have to be strong for Elizabeth. We have to go in there, find out what is happening and if...... if she has gone we will deal with it together."

As she looked up at him, Jack noted that although still fearful, he could also see a face, full of determination and strength, the same look he had often seen reflected in her daughters face.

Rose replied "Elizabeth is stubborn she won't give in without a fight, so why should we."

On entering the hospital, Jack asked the receptionist where they could find Elizabeth, and were directed to the intensive care unit.

Jack noted the police swarming round as they entered the unit, knowing instinctively it concerned Elizabeth.

He heard a sob from Rose, who had obviously come to the same conclusion. Reaching out, Jack put a comforting hand on her arm. "Rose why don't you take a seat while I go and enquire about Elizabeth."

After making sure Rose was sitting comfortably, Jack went to enquire after Elizabeth, anxious to know what was happening. One of the nurses, who was obviously in charge, informed Jack that the doctors were operating on Elizabeth at present. She told Jack the doctors would come and speak to them, when they had news on Dr Weir's condition.

On hearing the mention of Elizabeth's name, one of the policemen looked up and came over to speak to Jack.

The policeman introduced himself as Sergeant Black and told Jack that he had been the first to attend to Elizabeth when they arrived at her house.

Jack introduced himself as General Jack O'Neill and that the elderly lady in the chair was Elizabeth's mother He said they desperately needed to find out how Elizabeth was and what had happened.

The policeman placed a comforting hand on Jack's shoulder and said the doctors were working to stabilise her.

The Sergeant said "as far as we could tell, Simon had been entertaining about seven of his mates and things had got a bit volatile." According to one of the men, Dr Weir had asked them to keep the noise down a bit; because she was afraid they would be disturbing the neighbours. Simon having taken offense at this slapped her. One of the men had made a remark that she needed to be shown who was boss."

The sergeant stopped when he realised how this would be affecting Jack, but Jack although seething, wanted to hear the rest.

"I'm okay please... just get on with it," Jack said grimly.

The sergeant continued although still looking at Jack in concern "They all started jostling her; one of the men grabbed Dr Weir and forced her on to the table. She was then held down, while they took turns raping her."

Jack was shocked; whatever he had suspected had befallen Elizabeth his heart cried out as he thought of what she had gone through. It was bad enough for her to be battered physically but for her to suffer in this manner. He was beside his self with rage; all he wanted was to get hold of the animals responsible, to make them suffer as Elizabeth had suffered.

"Where are the bastards responsible?" Jack asked furiously. "Wait... as horrific as it is, raping her wouldn't have left her fighting for her life; they did something else to her didn't they. They must have..."

"Your right unfortunately," replied Sergeant Black. "When they had finished with Dr Weir she was left sobbing hysterically. Simon cruelly then shouted at her, telling her to shut up, but when Dr Weir couldn't stop, he started viciously laying in to her. One of the men, who hadn't been involved in raping Dr Weir, had tried to get him to stop. This however just seemed to fuel his rage, resulting in Dr Weir suffering a horrific beating." Sergeant Black stopped briefly, to allow Jack time to deal with everything, before continuing.

"When we arrived the men had cleared out, leaving the one person who had tried to stop them, cradling Dr Weir in his arms. He was the one that called us, but by this time Elizabeth was barely conscious and terribly injured."

Jack was shocked and disgusted, at what he had just been told; he also felt a sense of shame and guilt. He had never realised things were this bad, for he surely would have insisted that Elizabeth left, even if it had meant sending her back to Atlantis. A few people ignoring her, would have been nothing, compared to what she was suffering now; at least Sam would have been there to look out for her.

"So have you caught the men responsible or are they still walking around thinking they have escaped justice," asked Jack bitterly.

"No with the help of the individual who stayed with Dr Weir, we were able to identify and arrest them. He is also going to give evidence at their trial. They will not be walking free from this one, l can assure you," Sergeant Black informed him.

Jack looked across to Rose, who was anxiously waiting for news of her daughter. How could he explain her, that her beautiful gentle Elizabeth, had not only been beaten within an inch of her life, but also gang raped by a bunch of animals, not fit to be classed as human beings.

"I need to tell Elizabeth's mum what has happened, l just pray she is strong enough to deal with all of this."

"Do you want some help when you tell her?" Sergeant Black asked sympathetically.

"No l think l can handle it," replied Jack. "Thanks anyway."

Well if you need anything, remember you only need ask," said Sergeant Black. We will be hanging around for a while yet."

The Sergeant looked at Jack his genuine concern obvious. "I really do hope Dr Weir pulls through."

Jack nodded his thanks, but thinking if by some miracle, Elizabeth did survive, how she would deal with the devastation of what had been done to her.

He felt sick to his stomach thinking of the absolute fear and repulsion Elizabeth must have felt whilst the held her down and raped her. The terror she must have felt in her heart, his heart wept for her. No one should have to endure what Elizabeth was subjected to, yet she was forced to endure it over and over again.

Jack now had to face the terrible task of telling Rose. He thought about sparing her some of the details, telling her about the beatings, but keeping the fact that they had also raped Elizabeth from her.

However he realised, that as horribly as it was Rose had a right to know, after all if Elizabeth did survive, she would need Rose by her side, to help her somehow come to terms with the rape, as well as the other horrific injuries she has sustained.

Rose was devastated, after Jack explained to her what had happened to poor Elizabeth. She couldn't believe anyone could do that, to someone as kind and gentle as Elizabeth.

She cried softly, praying that Elizabeth would live, but also terrified that if she did, the daughter she knew and loved would still be lost to her, unable to recover from the horrific trauma of her ordeal. She knew if Elizabeth somehow survived, she would do her hardest to help Elizabeth overcome this, to allow her loving daughter to come back to her.

The doctors had finally finished with Elizabeth, she was still holding her own, and they were quietly optimistic, although her injuries were extensive.

Her head injury which had given them cause for concern, was not as severe as first thought, thankfully they didn't expect Elizabeth to suffer any long term brain damage.

She did however have numerous broken bones, as well as internal bleeding, caused not only by the savage beating but also by the horrific rape.

They felt that the damage to her legs however, was going to be the biggest long term concern, tragically it was highly probable Elizabeth may never walk again.

For the moment though, they were keeping her in a medical induced coma, to allow her body to heal .Their other concern was Elizabeth's apparent poor physical state, prior to the attack, they were concerned as she was extremely under weight, bordering on malnutrition. The doctors were concerned, about the effect it would have on her body's natural healing abilities, possibly making the healing process longer and more complicated.

The doctors also said that a large degree of Elizabeth recovery would depend on her state of mind when she regained consciousness. They warned them it would be a very traumatic uphill struggle for Elizabeth.

Rose and Jack were shocked at the extent of her injuries and the realization that Elizabeth may never walk again. However they both agreed that at least she was still with them. That at present was their biggest concern, but at least for the moment Elizabeth was holding her own.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

Jack glanced at his watch and was shocked to see it was 6 am. He knew that Atlantis would be awakening, realising grimly it was time to deliver the devastating news to the Atlanteans. He wasn't looking forward to explaining the events of the previous night, which had left Elizabeth barely alive. Jack was finding it extremely difficult to accept himself, without having to describe the full horrific details to Sam.

Jack also realised, if by some miracle, Elizabeth came through this, she was going to be in hospital for some time. He felt friendly familiar faces, might comfort her somewhat, Jack wanted to discuss with Sam, the possibility of getting Dr Beckett, involved in Elizabeth's care. Jack felt a doctor she knew, and trusted, would help her through the long recovery period she would face.

After pulling a few strings, jack had managed to make contact with Atlantis, quickly updating Sam on Elizabeth's condition and prognosis. It was every bit as difficult as he had imagined, and by the time he had finished, Sam was dismayed and almost in tears. She had quietly told Jack that she would inform Atlantis, and then make arrangements, for someone to take over command of Atlantis. Sam felt she needed to be close by, to ensure Jack has some support, during the difficult days ahead.

Sam stood deep in thought, looking through the window of her office, to the control room down below. She observed but didn't take in, the activities taking place around her, her concentration take up with trying to digest, her recent conversation with Jack. Sam's head still reeled from the shock, her mind still not quite ready to accept the horror, of what she had just heard.

Although Sam knew that Jack had suspected Simon of physically and mentally abusing Elizabeth, it still didn't stop the horror Sam was feeling as she thought of the treatment Simon and his so called friends had dealt Elizabeth. She felt nauseous as she imagined Elizabeth's mum and Jack watching over Elizabeth as she lay battered and broken, fighting with every breath to stay alive.

It saddened Sam even more, to think, that there was also a very high probability, if Elizabeth was pulled back from the brink of death, she would be left both emotionally and physically scarred for life.

Sighing deeply, Sam contemplated the best way, of delivering the news to the rest of Atlantis. Whilst under no illusions of their feelings towards Elizabeth, Sam also realised that despite how they felt, they would still be deeply shocked and saddened, especially on hearing the grave prognosis Elizabeth faced.

As Sam was contemplating, how to deliver the news, there was a knock at the door. When Telya and Dr Beckett entered, Sam guilty realised, she had forgotten they were working towards a cure, for a contagion, which was brought back by a team on their return from an off world mission. Thankfully it was found not to be life threatening. It was still very unpleasant for the men affected however, and the medical team, along with some of the scientists, had been working none stop, to find a cure for it.

"Colonel Carter I think we may have found a cure. Do l have your permission to go ahead?" asked Dr Beckett enthusiastically. "However it means, Teyla and l, accompanying a team of world, to retrieve some plant Teyla is familiar with."

Looking from Dr Beckett to Taylor hesitantly, Sam knew she couldn't authorise the mission, not until she had given them the news regarding Elizabeth.

Teyla observed something in Sam's expression that unsettled her somewhat. "Colonel Carter may l ask, if there is something wrong?"

Looking up Sam said, "I will authorise the go ahead, for the mission, but l need to discuss something with your team first."

Activating her ear piece Sam announced, "Can l have Colonel Sheppard, and all members of his team, attend an urgent meeting in my office please!"

She had decided instead of a general announcement, that she would inform John's team first. Sam felt they should be allowed the chance of returning to earth first, after all Elizabeth had been closer to this team, than any other.

General Laundry had transport allocated, to take them straight from Stargate Command, to the hospital, when they stepped through the wormhole.

The whole of the stargate command, had been shocked and dismayed, on hearing the horrific circumstances of Elizabeth's hospitalization, and where providing whatever assistance, and support that was required.

Sam noticed Dr Beckett was about to leave, to give them privacy.

"Dr Beckett, can you stay as well please, what I have to discuss will have an impact on you also" Sam instructed him.

Telya and Carson took a seat, as they waited for the rest of the team to show up. Both were curious about the news, that Carter was so anxious to speak to them about.

John followed by Ronon was the first to appear. Both were looking rather mystified as to why a meeting had been arranged at such short notice. As far as they were aware there wasn't any impending threat or crisis looming. Both men knew however, how quickly their circumstances could change in the Pegasus Galaxy, as it had done so often in the past.

As her two colleagues entered and sat down, Teyla thought how well John was looking now, compared to when he first split up with Elizabeth. To say had been angry and bitter would have been an understatement; he had appeared hell bent on his own destruction, frequently, taking risk after risk, uncaring of the consequences to his own health. John's team rallied round him though, finally managing to bring him back from the brink, back to sanity.

Telya's powers of observation, could tell if john was having an off day. She knew when to look out for him, the days where John appeared slightly unstable, but these were getting fewer and farther between. Teyla felt only bitterness and disappointment towards her former friend, for what she done to John, and what she had done to Atlantis.

Atlantis had been all but ripped apart, just before and immediately after Elizabeth's departure only was only now starting to get back on track. Teyla realised this was mainly due to the dedication and determination of Colonel Carter. She had on taking note of the situation, worked to pull everyone back together again.

The last member of the team arrived, muttering and complaining, of being taken away from important experiment, something that needed his undivided attention.

Sam frowned, does _Mackay ever shut up._

"Now that you are all here, I have to deliver, what I feel will be devastating news for you all. General O'Neill was put through on a special line this morning, to inform me that Dr Weir was admitted to hospital late last night, in an extremely severe condition." Sam paused for a moment, to allow the full impact of her statement sink in.

"Regrettably Dr Weir was subjected to a severe, and devastating beating. She has made it through surgery, but is still on the critical list. The doctors at this time, can't be certain if she will pull through, and even if she does, what the extent of her recovery will be,

Sam paused again, glancing at the sea of faces around her, observing that every one present in the room, had been affected to some degree, by the shocking news. Sam wasn't sure at first, where it was fair on Elizabeth, to tell them the rest of the injuries forced on her. After a few moments thought, Sam reluctantly decided it was necessary, knowing they needed to be fully prepared, should they decide to spend time with Elizabeth.

Sam continued cautiously," Unfortunately.... that was not all Dr Weir's attackers did. It saddens me to tell you, that before being beaten Dr Weir was brutally raped."

Telya gasped before looked at Sam with tears filled eyes "Do they know who would do such a thing?"

Sam nodded sombrely, before explaining what had occurred that night.

When she had finished, she could see everyone in the room, was as devastated as she had been, on hearing the pain and suffering Elizabeth had experienced.

Sam looked at the people in the room, hoping they would take up the chance she was about to give them. "I know things were bad between all of you and Dr Weir, but if anyone decides they want to go and visit her, it has been arranged for special leave to allow you to do so."

There was stunned silence in the room, each person trying to come to terms with the shocking news.

Teyla was the first one to recover enough, to request permission to be allowed to return to Earth.

Rodney for once stunned in to silence, just nodded his head.

John who had sat ashen faced, got up without uttering a word, and stormed out of the room.

Standing up Ronon said "l will go after him."

Ronon found John in the gym, taking his anger out on the punch bag.

"Why...?" John shouted furiously, "why could he not just be happy with Elizabeth?"

"Why did he... how could he, do this to her?" John cried. "Whatever she has done, she didn't deserve this."

"Just when I felt I was finally getting over her, this happens. Whatever decision I make will be wrong. If I go to see her and she survives what happens then...?" John questioned.

Ronon quietly laid a hand on John's shoulder, but remained quiet, allowing John to vent his anger.

"The only reason I have been able deal with what happened, is by not having to see her, by not hearing her voice. If on the other hand l don't go and she dies..." John's voice trailed off not wanting to think of the ramification of his last words.

"I can't make that decision for you" Ronon told him, "that has to come from you, the only advice l will give is to follow what your heart tells you. Sheppard, whatever you decide, I will be there for you, to provide the support you need." With that Ronon turned and left, knowing John needed time alone, to allow him to come to the right decision.

John sunk down to the floor and gave way to the tears that had been threatening to fall.

_Elizabeth what have you got yourself into._ _If you had only said no to him? If you had we could be planning our future together, instead your lying in hospital fighting for your life._

John sunk his head into his hands and cried. He cried for all he could off had and all he had lost.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

Sam had instructed the team, to be prepared to return to earth, within the next two hours. They would ideally have preferred to return sooner, especially knowing how precarious Elizabeth's hold on life was. However Sam needed to be sure Atlantis would be okay, in their absence. Major Lorne had been briefed, and his team were taking over, in the absence of John's team. The remainder of Atlantis, had been briefed on the situation with Elizabeth, and the mood was very sombre.

John had still not given Sam his decision, as to whether he wanted to return with them. Sam sighed as she thought of the turmoil, John would be experiencing. Everyone would understand, if he decided not to return with them to earth, but Sam felt if he didn't go, it would return to torment him later, especially if Elizabeth died. Knowing she needed to gently push John for a decision, Sam put her hand to her ear, to activate her earpiece. However before she could speak the, very person she was about to contact entered her office

Sam was dismayed at the haunted and shattered expression, on John's face, but his voice was strong when he spoke.

"I would like to accompany the team back to earth" John told her." l have to see Elizabeth, even... even if it's just to say good bye, l need to do this, for my own piece of mind..."

Ronon who was standing behind John, patted John's shoulder

"I think you're making the right decision buddy, Colonel Carter, if it's okay I would also like to accompany Sheppard back to earth."

Nodding Sam replied, "Ronon you are part of John's team, and the invitation was to all members, but you will both need to be ready in an hour. General Landry is expecting us to gate back to the SGC, in just over an hour."

Both men raised their eye brows in surprise.

"Are you also returning to earth?" enquired Ronon.

"Yes I will be also accompanying you, general Laundry has arranged for Mr Woolsey to take over whilst I am away, I think General O'Neill needs me right now." Sam replied.

An hour later, the team were ready, waiting to gate back to earth. Woolsey had come through earlier, and had been briefed by Sam. Now they were standing in the gate room of Stargate Command, waiting for the car that would take then to Elizabeth, and whatever lay in front of them.

The drive to the hospital was a long and uncomfortable one. No one wanted to put in to words, what they were feeling, what they all were thinking. They were anxious to get to Elizabeth, but at the same time dreading what they would be confronted with, when they finally got there.

Carson was thinking of his recent conversation with Sam.

"How are you bearing up Carson," Sam had asked.

Okay l suppose, angry at what has happened why... would they do such a horrific thing. I feel so helpless l feel I should be doing something..."

"Well actually, there is something you could do for Elizabeth. Jack was asking if you would take over Elizabeth's care once she gets out of...

Sam paused glancing fearfully at Carson, knowing they were both thinking the same.

"We have to believe Elizabeth will pull through this, the alternative is unthinkable," Carson replied in sorrow.

Carson sighed, he had eventually agreed to do as Jack had requested, it was the least he could do for Elizabeth. However, he was worried to a certain degree. What if his presence, didn't have the desired effect on Elizabeth that Jack thought it would.

If only he had approached the situation, with Elizabeth differently, Carson knew he wouldn't be feeling as guilty as he did now. Instead Carson felt he had treated her harshly, his feelings of guilt only increased, as he remembered how upset she had been, that day in the infirmary. Carson cringed, as he thought of how they had ostracised her, making it so difficult, so unpleasant, that Elizabeth had been left with no other option, than to leave the place she come to think of as home. Now she was lying barely alive.

Carson knew that if Elizabeth survived, he would make sure she felt loved and wanted again. If she needed a friend, someone to confide in, he would be there for her. He glanced at John who was sitting in silence a closed expression on his face, Carson wondered how John was going to cope with being near Elizabeth, seeing her lying so gravely ill.

Jack was relieved he had managed to persuade Rose to get some rest; remembering how frail Rose had looked as she sat talking quietly to Elizabeth. The events of the past day had taken their toll, and Jack could see how exhausted she was. Jack remembered how devastated Rose had been, when she first laid eyes on Elizabeth

On seeing Elizabeth horrific injuries, Rose had almost collapsed into Jack's arms, requiring treatment by the nurses. Thankfully however, after the first initial fright, she had become strong for her daughter, talking quietly to Elizabeth whilst stroking her uninjured hand. Thankfully Elizabeth's condition, had stabilised somewhat, and Jack had insisted that Rose get some rest.

Now he was on his own maintaining his bedside vigil, hoping against hope that things would improve for Elizabeth. Jack sat watching the ventilator assist the rise and fault of Elizabeth lungs. He listened to the bleeping of the monitors, as they registered Elizabeth vital signs, whilst assisting Elizabeth's frail hold on life. He knew that by nature, Elizabeth was strong, that under normal circumstances, if anyone could pull something of this magnitude off, it was Elizabeth.

What worried him however, was her fragile emotional state, prior to the attack. He feared Elizabeth would give up the fight, before it had even begun, too emotionally and physically drained, her only option to give in to the pull of eternal peace.

Elizabeth had told him many times in the past six months, she wished she would just go to sleep and never wake up, never again have to face the trouble she had caused. This was causing him much concern now.

Jack had been shocked, when he first saw Elizabeth, lying there so fragile and broken. The nurses had warned Jack to be prepared for the shock of Elizabeth's injuries, but Jack had still gasped in horror, when he first saw her. Her face was so bruised and swollen, he almost didn't recognise her, and both eyes were black and blue. Both of Elizabeth's legs were in traction, to try and aid the healing of the multiple fractures she had sustained. She had a nasty compound fracture to her right arm, and Jack had been told she had bruising to most of her body_. _She had multiple contusions and bleeding from being repeatedly raped.

The doctors had at least, managed to stop the internal bleeding, which they found was caused by her ribs being fractured and piercing her lung. Thankfully they had managed to repair and re-inflate her lung but it was still giving them some cause for concern.

They warned however, that they would not be able to know the full impact, of any lasting damage, until they brought her out of her medically induced coma. The doctor also said, due to the extensive damage to her legs, she would be very lucky to ever walk again. They also warned, due to the extent of Elizabeth's injuries, there was still a very high risk of her not surviving. However, they were also impressed, by the fact, that Elizabeth had survived against all odds so for.

Suddenly Jack jumped in shock, as the monitors he had been watching closely, suddenly bleeped furiously. Jack knew, without having to be told, Elizabeth was in deep trouble. _Elizabeth come on, don't do this, you need you fight this._

Reluctantly Jack left the room, as the doctors and nursing staff, swarmed anxiously, taking their places by Elizabeth's bedside.

Jack was left thinking _this can't be how it ends_, hoping against hope the doctors would once again save Elizabeth's life He sunk his head into his hands in despair, knowing the doctors had warned them, this may yet happen. Elizabeth was simply too weakened by her injuries to survive.

On feeling a hand on his shoulder Jack looked up in dismay, to find Sam and the rest of the team from Atlantis had arrived. He knew by the shocked expressions on their faces, they realised the severity of the situation.

Every one present, knew that it was highly probably, they were going to be devastated by the news the doctors would be delivering. That Elizabeth's tenuous hold on life had been severed.


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

Sam quickly observed the colour drain from John's face, as the full impact of what was happening hit him. He looked like he was about to go down like a ton of bricks. Thankfully there was a chair near John, and between them they managed to get him sitting in it. Ronon sat with him his concern for John obvious.

Sam was able to eventually recover enough to speak. "Jack what's going on, is it Elizabeth..."

Jack looked at John briefly, before answering "she... seemed to be doing slightly better; l managed to convince her mum to get some rest and was sitting with Elizabeth. Sam... l don't know what happened, just that the monitors kicked off, and then l found myself out here. The doctors... they are in there working on her now."

Jack looked at Carson, the exhaustion he was feeling clearly showing.

"She seemed to be making some progress, but now this I'm sorry l can't tell you anymore. May be you'll be able to find out more Carson. I need to know what's happening."

Suddenly Jack remembered "O god Rose, l will need to go get her, she will be inconsolable, if anything happens to Elizabeth and she wasn't here."

Seeing how tired and stressed he was, Sam put her arm around him. "It is okay Jack, we will find out what's happening."

Carson was just about to speak to one of the nurses, when the Doctors started leave the room Elizabeth's. Jack recognised the Doctor who had spoken previously to them about Elizabeth's prognosis.

"Well we thought we had lost Dr Weir for a moment there, it was touch and go," Dr Dees informed them. Dr Weir's heart failed because of the large strain it has been under and also due to her blood pressure dropping dangerously low. We think this may be indicating some new or missed internal bleeding."

"What does that mean," asked Jack fearfully. "Do you think it will stop on its own?"

"Unfortunately no," relied Dr Dees "we will need to take Dr Weir back to theatre. However it is imperative we ensure her condition is stabilized prior to this. We have given her intravenous drugs and her condition for the moment has settled somewhat. We need to take this chance and get her into theatre to increase her chances of survival. I am sorry to say at present her chances of pulling through this are very slim. I will be able to tell you more after surgery and l have to emphasise, that's if she survives surgery."

Noting how anxious they were, and realising it was highly likely, Elizabeth would not survive; Dr Dees gave them permission to see Elizabeth, whilst they were preparing theatre for her impending surgery.

Jack and Sam quickly went to deliver the latest sad news to Rose, leaving the four team mates alone.

"John why don't you go spend the time with Elizabeth, you need some time alone with her," Telya said, gently trying to coax John.

"We will be waiting out here if you need us Sheppard," said Ronon.

John nodded grimly before entering the hospital room. He was however, immediately devastated by Elizabeth's appearance, though John had been warned about the extensive nature of her injuries he never visualized it would be to this extent. Elizabeth looked so frail, so pale, almost beaten beyond recognition. Completely surrounding her were various machines all working away furiously.

John froze in horror afraid to take any further steps. He was on the verge of fleeing the room, but thankfully one of the nurses who were present monitoring Elizabeth, noted his reactions, and sympathetically came to his assistance.

"Why don't you come over here and sit beside Dr Weir" instructed the nurse. You know she may hear you if you speak to her, it is a known fact that comatose patients can recall conversations with friends and relatives, when they regain consciousness. It may aid Dr Weir's struggle, help her to come back to you."

John eyed the nurse warily but did take the offer of the seat. He didn't feel comfortable speaking however, preferring to sit in silence, knowing what he wanted to say, just unable to say it out loud.

Thankfully John was saved by the arrival, of Jack and Rose. Immediately rising to offer Rose the seat, he was about to leave the room, when Rose stopped him.

"Please stay, l am sure that's what my daughter would have wanted, and if I'm right l believe they call you John," questioned Rose a hint of a smile on her face.

John stopped and turned back, observing the woman who had just spoke to him. He could tell, without being introduced, she was Elizabeth's mum. She had the same mannerisms as Elizabeth, the same gentleness combined with strength, that john had previously admired, and been drawn to, in Elizabeth.

Most of all he knew by the sorrow, which was evident in her eyes, by the pain she was experiencing.

John paused awkwardly, unsure of what to say under the circumstances.

"Why don't you sit here beside me," said Rose, on seeing how lost and upset John was. We can both support one another. According to what Jack has told me we don't have long, before the doctors will be back for Elizabeth. I just hope and pray they return her to us again if...she doesn't..."

Rose's courage suddenly evaporated as the seriousness of Elizabeth's condition suddenly hit her again. She broke down, allowing the tears, she had so bravely battled against, fall unchallenged, unable to hide her anguish any longer.

John felt his heart was going to break along with Rose's. Sitting down beside her he gently took Rose's hand in his. They sat in silence, drawn together by the immense grief, they were both feeling.

Jack stood observing them, unable to prevent the cold fury he was feeling. This was directed towards those that had been responsible, for putting them all in this devastating situation, for robbing Elizabeth of her right to live. Jack angrily felt that whatever punishment came there way, would never, ever make up for the immense pain and suffering they had caused.

It seemed no time had passed, before the nurse came to inform them gently, that the doctors were ready for Elizabeth. Her condition had remained unchanged, and they needed to get her into surgery straight away. Three heartbroken people took it in turn to say their sad goodbyes to Elizabeth, each wondering if this would be their last farewell.

The nurse stood unhappily; as she watched the three completely devastated people leave the room. She prayed she would have some news, on her return from theatre, that wouldn't add to that devastation.

It always was sad, to see the grief present in relatives, who had been told there was little hope of their loved one surviving.

However for some reason this one pulled even more at her heart strings, this one had got under her skin. It had managed to find a crack in her professional code conduct to never get emotionally involved.

She knew this was something to do with the frail woman lying critically ill, who by normal standards, should have already succumbed to her injuries. Nurse Johnston felt a rising respect for this woman, she could see the love and devotion her friends and family felt for her. She felt if any one deserved to win the battle to survive it was Dr Weir.


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

The atmosphere in the room, where Elizabeth friends and family had gathered, was extremely tense as they waited anxiously for news.

Rose slowly analysed the people in the room. She was pleasantly surprised by the warmth and compassion they had all displayed, not only towards Elizabeth, but also to Rose herself. She had quickly surmised that they were previous work colleagues of Elizabeth. It hadn't taken Rose long to recognise some of them, from photos her daughter had shown her, on one of her treasured visits home. Why Elizabeth had suddenly arrived home, just over six months ago, after having given up a job she was dedicated to, remained a mystery to Rose. It was something she had tried to talk to Elizabeth about, but her daughter had always managed to change the subject without divulging any information.

A sad smile appeared on Rose's face as she remembered how proud her daughter had been when she named the people in the photos. The one photo, that brought the most reaction from Elizabeth however, was of a man with an unruly mop of black hair. Rose had known then and there, that what her daughter felt for this man would develop into more than friendship, if it hadn't already.

Rose had recognised him the moment she had walked in, and found him sitting by Elizabeth's bedside, a look of utter devastation evident on his face. Rose had a suspicion he was also behind a lot of her daughter's present heartache.

John was anxiously pacing the room, totally oblivious to Rose's observations and thoughts. The agonising wait was starting to wear him down, having no way to channel his frustration and fear. At least on Atlantis, he would be able to relieve some of his tension, be it by taking it out on a punch bag, or sparring with Ronon. He imagined it wouldn't be taken very favourably, if he started sparring with Ronon in the middle of a hospital.

Sam closely observed the two men she had come to think highly off, noticing they mirrored each other, in their frustration and grief, one who thought of Elizabeth as a daughter, the other who was still in love with her, although Sam wasn't sure if John had worked that out for himself yet.

John she knew kept his emotions buried deep, unwilling to allow most people entry to them. Sam surmised, the only person who had broken through the facade he had erected, had been Elizabeth, and she had effectively thrown it back in his face with her betrayal. It was highly unlikely; john would allow anyone to penetrate his defences like that again.

Sighing in despair, Sam knew nothing she could say to either men at this precise moment, would help ease their pain.

Sitting down Sam place a hand gently over Rose's "How are you doing Rose, is there anything l can get you?"

"No dear, that nice young lady Teyla has gone to get me a cup of coffee. If you don't mind, just your company is all l need. It's the waiting l find hard to take. Every time l hear footsteps outside the door, my heart lurches in fear. I also worry that Elizabeth will die whilst in theatre, unaware we are all her for her. If l could just be with her, to hold her hand. Tell her to fight, and not give up. I just want to hold her, and chase away her fears and nightmares, as l did when she was a little girl."

Rose was crying now, unable to prevent the tears for rolling down her face, as her fears that she had so bravely kept at bay, threatened to overwhelm her.

Sam gently embraced the distraught woman, instinctively knowing, this was what she needed at the moment, more than words. The only words that would comfort Rose at this time would be ones spoken by the doctor, informing her Elizabeth would recover.

Teyla on returning with coffee for everyone, noticed Rodney for once was strangely quiet; he previously had a close friendship with Elizabeth, and had taken the circumstances of her removal from Atlantis the hardest, apart from John. Teyla could see how much he was hurting now, and knew he would benefit from some company.

"Here is your coffee Rodney, l have also brought some sandwiches for anyone that wants them," Telya said, trying to draw him out, with his favourite subject, food.

"O right thanks, l think l might, my stomach is making some strange noises, though never been fond much of hospital food, pretty tasteless...," rambled Rodney.

Telya softly laid a hand on Rodney arm knowing his rambling was covering up his true feelings. "Rodney it's okay to feel upset, to show what you are truly feeling, everyone is feeling the same way."

"it's just l feel so helpless, thinking of her lying in there and not being able to do anything to help her," Rodney replied sadly. "What if she doesn't make it, what will we do then?"

"Elizabeth is strong Rodney, we need to have faith that she will come through this," answered Telya. "The one we need to remain strong for is John. He is going to find this difficult to cope with no matter how it turns out." Telya said, glancing at john.

"He still loves her doesn't he," said Rodney

"Yes l believe you are right," replied Teyla unhappily, "That's the reason it is going to be more difficult for him."

Both his friends looked towards john, knowing he was going to need their support in the coming days, no matter what the outcome. The problem was would he be willing to accept it again.

Rose sudden looked up, in fearful anticipation, as the dreaded footsteps were once again heard just outside the room. She was unable to prevent a gasp escaping, as she realised that this time they didn't carry on past, but instead stopped at the other side of the door, immediately followed by a knock.

Dr Dees entered fully prepared for the reactions he would receive, on delivering the latest news regarding Elizabeth.

"I am pleased to inform you Dr Weir has come through surgery remarkably well, and her condition has stabilized dramatically. The cause of her internal bleeding, has responded successfully to the surgery she has undergone, and l don't see it giving us any more cause for concern.

Turning to Rose Dr Dees smiled and said "Mrs Weir you have got one remarkable daughter, she has certainly shown us, she has no intention of giving up without a fight. Now she is still not of the critical list, but her chances have certainly improved." Dr Dees stopped briefly knowing they needed time to digest all the information. "At present Dr Weir is still in recovery, but the nurses will be bringing her back to her room, within the next fifteen minutes or so. I have left instructions, that you be allowed to spend time with her once she is settled.

"Dr Dees thank you so much for all you have done for my daughter," said Rose feeling more a peace now. "I am sure it is because of your dedication and skill that my daughter is still with us."

"I think a lot of it, is also due to the very strong will of your daughter Mrs Weir, hopefully that will see her through the rest of her recovery. Now if you will excuse me, l still have a theatre list to attend to, l just wanted to deliver the news personally. If you have any further worries or questions, just inform the nurses who will be caring for Dr Weir, and l will come answer them for you. With that Dr Dees left the room, smiling happily to himself, reflecting on how lighter the atmosphere was in the room now. He was happy at being the bearer of the news that facilitated the change.

They were all overjoyed to see Elizabeth returning a short while later. She was still surrounded by the many machines and would remain on a ventilator, under heavy sedation, until her condition improved. They were all under the same understanding; someone would be with her at all times, no matter what time of the day.

Between them they worked out a rota, allowing everyone a chance to spend time with Elizabeth, They mainly visited in pairs, so the room didn't become crowded, and to ensure the nurses had room to attend to Elizabeth.

John frequently sat in the company of Rose; they strangely drew comfort from one another, and the developed a strong liking and friendship, each seemingly understanding the others needs.

John still wasn't sure how he would react when Elizabeth regained consciousness, and this was playing at the back of his mind constantly. This was one think he couldn't talk to Rose about. He knew Rose didn't have any knowledge of what had happened between her daughter and himself, and he certainly wasn't going to burden her with it. John knew it would only upset her and she had suffered enough upset as it was.

Elizabeth's condition, continued to slowly improve, over the next week, until the doctors felt she had improved enough, to be moved from intensive care to a side room within the main ward. This gave Dr Beckett the opportunity to speak with Dr Dees, about the possibility of Elizabeth being transferred into his care. Dr Dees felt that this would indeed prove to be beneficial in aiding Elizabeth's recovery. He had become impressed by Carson's dedication and skills, and had no qualms about transferring Elizabeth care over to him.

It was decided to give Elizabeth another week, to safe guard against any further complications, and to allow any necessary preparations be made at the SGC, in readiness for Elizabeth's transfer.

.

Elizabeth was finally transferred three weeks after first being admitted to the hospital. The doctors had taken her of the critical list, and it was also now time to start bringing out of her medically induced coma. It was decided, that this should be done, after she was settled in the SGC infirmary. The journey by air ambulance would be extremely uncomfortable for her otherwise. Jack thought it would also be more comforting, for Elizabeth to regain consciousness, surrounded by people she knew.

Carson was anxious to take over her care, his previously reservation for the moment at least laid to rest. He was kept busy, as he worked with Dr Dees, developing a plan of care for Elizabeth, to ensure her rehabilitation would go smoothly, when the time was right.

Rose would be staying with Jack and Sam for the time being, as it was felt it would be too exhausting for Rose to travel constantly between her home and stargate command. This would also allow Rose to spend as much time with her daughter as possible.

Because of this, it was decided that Rose would need some security clearance, as she was going to be spending a lot of time with in the SGC. This meant it was highly probable she would encounter an alien or two. Thus Rose came to find out, what her daughter had been involved in, for the last few years. What surprised her most however was that Teyla and Ronon were not from earth. Everyone laughed, when she said she wished she had met an alien, like Ronon when she was younger.

The down side of it however, was that they realised Rose would have to be informed, about the reason for the breakup of John and Elizabeth's relationship. What everyone feared, was that Rose would hear about it from a third party, and they knew Rose would be extremely upset if this happened.

It was decided that Sam and Teyla, would gently explain to Rose, what had happened, without going into the full details. Although visible shocked, at what she was told, and dismayed as to why Elizabeth would do such a thing, Rose would not let it change the love she felt for Elizabeth. She was upset when Jack spoke to her one day, explaining that the reason Elizabeth had never said anything to her, was because she was ashamed, and also terrified she would lose Rose's respect and love. Rose was thankful that Jack had stuck by and cared for Elizabeth, seeing how much Elizabeth had needed and depended on Jack.

Something else was very evident to Rose, John no matter how much he denied it, was still very much in love with Elizabeth. Rose could see this by the way he looked at Elizabeth, by the way she had caught him caressing her hair, and stroking her hand, when he thought no one was watching. It pained Rose to see how much John was inwardly suffering and she decided that she would have to try and speak to him at some point. For now however, she would just bide her time, waiting till the moment was right.


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

The short journey by air ambulance was quickly and efficiently undertaken. It had been decided, that this was the safest and easiest way, ensuring there was room for the portable ventilator and other equipment, necessary for the medical staff to continue their observation, and monitoring, of Elizabeth's condition.

It seemed no time at all, before Elizabeth was settled comfortably, in a private room with in the infirmary of Stargate Command. The room they had organised for her was adjacent to Carson's office, this way he could monitor Elizabeth closely, but at the same time still carry out any other important tasks.

The staff from Stargate Command, especially the ones who knew, or had worked with Elizabeth, were visibly shocked at the terrible injuries inflicted on Elizabeth. Everyone present, wanted to contribute, in some small way to Elizabeth recovery.

General Laundry had ensured the infirmary was adequately prepared for Elizabeth arrival, having conversed with Carson and the infirmary staff, before her transfer was arranged.

Although the Atlantis team had to resume their duties, it had been arranged for them to remain within the SGC base, allowing them to continue visiting Elizabeth on a regular basis. This meant their vigil at Elizabeth's bedside could continue.

Carson monitored Elizabeth's condition closely, fearful that the journey may have been detrimental to her recovery. After a couple of days however, it was obvious that her condition had not only remained stable, but also appeared to be improving, all be it slowly. Carson decided it was now time to gradually reduce the level of Elizabeth's sedation, allowing her a slow journey back to consciousness.

Recent tests had shown Elizabeth's damaged lung had healed well enough, for the ventilator to be removed. Thankfully Elizabeth was now able breath on her own, and they were all waiting with abated breath for her to awaken.

Carson had warned them however, that there was a chance Elizabeth may not regain consciousness, and would remain in her present comatose state indefinitely. He instructed her visitors to talk quietly to her, hoping their voices would guide Elizabeth along the path to consciousness.

John was sitting deep in thought, in the infirmary one night , whilst Jack, who was keeping him company, dozed in the chair. It was almost two weeks, since Elizabeth's sedation had been stopped altogether, and still she showed no siqn of coming round.

John sighed, thinking how tedious the day had been. He found the days long, and boring, having being used to going off world on a regular basis. He longed to be back on Atlantis, to resume their missions to find allies or confirm alliances.

There was one thing however, that John missed more than anything else, something John had taken for granted, until it had gone. This was the site of Elizabeth waving them off, whilst trying hard to hide her apprehension, as they got ready to depart through the stargate. The relief of knowing Elizabeth would be waiting to greet them, when they returned some time later, seeing her look of apprehension replaced by one of joy and relief, as she realised they had returned home safely. The most special moment of all however, was the look she reserved only for him, her green eyes sparking with emotion, as their eyes found each other across the room. This had been one of the hardest things to deal with when Elizabeth had left Atlantis. He would instinctively look for her, only for his heart to shatter once again as reality hit him.

John realised he needed to stop dwelling on the past, it was gone, finished with. Instead he tried to relax, observing how peaceful the infirmary was at this time of night, in fact he realised in surprise, it was actually the small hours of the morning. He could see Carson trying to concentrate on something in his office. John couldn't disguise the smirk on his face, as he watched Carson's head sink, every so often, as he vainly tried to fight of his drowsiness.

The conversation he had held earlier with Carson, worried him however. When John had asked, if there had been any improvement in Elizabeth condition, he observed the worried frown that appeared on Carson's face, before he quickly tried to disguise it. Carson had finally admitted to John, that he was becoming extremely concerned, as the days went by, that despite being free from the effects of sedation, Elizabeth still showed no signs of regaining consciousness. He gently explained to John, that her chances of a full recovery were reducing, with every day, she remained in a coma.

John eventually gave into the comfort of sleep himself. Sometime later he wakened with a start, something had disturbed him, but he wasn't sure what. Looking around, John noticed everything remained quiet, and Carson was still in his office.

_I must have been dreaming_ muttered John.

Moving about in the chair, whilst trying to get comfortable, john was surprised to find he was still holding Elizabeth's hand. He was just about to place it under the bedcovers to keep it warm, when he realised what had disturbed him previously. He sat quietly for a moment, not sure if he had imagined it, but then he realised with wondrous relief, it was happening again. John looked at the hand he was holding in amazement, as Elizabeth weakly tightened her hold on john's hand, whilst at the same time her eyes lids fluttered.

"Elizabeth .... ! Jack you awake? l think l felt Elizabeth squeeze my hand," John said in astonishment.

Jumped up suddenly Jack was jolted out of his sleepiness. "What... is she finally coming round?"

"l not sure but l don't think l imagined it, l am telling you she squeezed my hand," replied John.

"l am going for Carson," Jack relied anxiously, "just in case."

It didn't take Jack long to return with Carson in tow. By this time it was evident, there was definitely some change in Elizabeth, as a frown appeared on her pale face.

As Carson approached Elizabeth's bedside, he noticed she was trying to open her eyes, but looked to be in some discomfort. She was obviously distressed by the bright lights, her eyes obviously not used to the brightness, after being surrounded for so long by darkness.

He quickly moved to dim the lights, but not before Elizabeth whimpered, her voice weak and hoarse, "hurting."

"I know sweetheart just give your eyes time to adjust" Jack said gently trying to comfort her.

They were overjoyed to see that although dazed and bewildered, Elizabeth was finally awake.

John stepped back slightly to allow Carson access to Elizabeth bedside. Elizabeth in her confusion, and obviously irritated by it, was trying to pull the oxygen tubing away from her face.

"Easy there with that lass" cautioned Carson. "You need to leave that in place for the moment as least."

With the assistance of Jack, he gently eased Elizabeth up slightly, holding an ice chip for her to suck on.

"Slowly does it now warned Carson "we don't want your stomach to rebel against it lass."

After allowing Elizabeth the comfort of the moisture, from the chip, they gently helped her lie down again.

"Where am l...?" Elizabeth asked in obvious confusion, her voice barely a whisper.

Elizabeth was trying to recall something, she knew she should remember it, but everything was jumbled up. Her brain felt sluggish and refused to cooperate.

"There's plenty of time for that, when you have rested and are stronger," Carson gently scolded her. "Right now what you need is rest. Now shut your eyes and try and get some sleep," although he realised, as he said it, she was already drifting off again.

John looked at him in concern.

"Now there no need for you to worry about the lass," Carson informed them. "She is only sleeping, and that is the best treatment she can get right now. She should sleep through till morning, so why don't you get some sleep also. Come back fully refreshed in the morning, you'll be no use to her otherwise."

John stood up; he had to get away, feeling an overpowering need to find somewhere where he could be alone. He was feeling overwhelmed by the many emotions running through his head.

He knew that Elizabeth's sudden recovery, from the coma she had been in, had been the cause, wrenching his suppressed emotions out into the open. It was one thing to sit with Elizabeth whilst she was unconscious, but he didn't know if he could cope when she was awake, what would say to her.

He was fearful that his feelings of anger, at what she had put him through would once again become obvious, that he would be unable to hide these feelings. He didn't want to be the one who would cause her furthering suffering. John knew Elizabeth had always been able to feel and see what he was thinking. He couldn't put her through that. She had people that cared for her, who would help her through the trauma of her ordeal, she didn't need him.

Jack frowned as John left the infirmary, he could see something was wrong, but didn't know what. He thought John would be over the moon now Elizabeth was sleeping peacefully.

Turning to Carson he asked, "What was that all about, you would think he would be happy for Elizabeth."

"I am sure he is," replied Carson. "It's just he doesn't know how to deal with it yet. Remember the circumstances were dire the last time John spoke with Elizabeth. He was left devastated by her actions."

"l understand that," said Jack, but he seemed to be coping l don't see what's changed.

"The fact that she has wakened up, that is what's changed," said Carson sadly. He could pretend when he didn't have to look into her eyes, when he didn't have to talk to her. Suddenly that has changed, and his safety net has been yanked away from him."

"You know him better than l do Carson. Do you think he will find a way to deal with this, a way that will allow him to still support Elizabeth?" questioned Jack.

"I wish l could say in all honesty that he will, but l have grave doubts," replied Carson. "The worst thing, is that of all us, John is probably the one person, who can get Elizabeth through this hell she faces. If she comes to realise he can't bear to be with her, l feel it will cause her even greater pain."

Sighing Jack said "only time will tell, unfortunately there's nothing we can do tonight. Look l would rather stay with Elizabeth, l really don't want to leave her yet. Why don't you take the chance of catching up on some sleep, Elizabeth's your only patient at the moment. I think she would be less distressed, when she awakens in the morning, to see you are there, rather than if it were one of the other doctors."

"I suppose you have got a point there," answered Carson reluctantly.

"Go Carson, it's not as if you're that far away," Jack told him irritably. "l think l can cope with a sleeping Elizabeth just fine."

"Ok as long as you're sure Jack," said Carson just a trifle worried. "If she has you concerned, in the slightest, wake me up."

Jack just waved him away with his hand, and Carson taking the hint, took Jack up on his advice, retiring for some much needed sleep.

Jack sat back down beside Elizabeth, softly stroking a rebel curl back from her face, whilst taking care not to disturb her. He was relieved, that she was sleeping peacefully, for the time being. Jack realised her peace would be destroyed, when the full horror of the circumstances hit her, and he was sure hit her it would.

Thinking back to the conversation with Carson, Jack realised with despair, how true Carson's words were. Jack was probably the only one, who knew how devastated Elizabeth had been on losing john. He dreaded to think the affect it would have on her recovery, if she realised john was close by, but didn't want to see her.

He could only hope that somehow, there was a way through this mess, for two people who together could achieve great things, but apart were lost without the other.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

Elizabeth slowly awakened the next morning, to the bleeping of the monitors, frowning in confusion as she tried to get her bearings. She struggled to remember where she was, whimpering as she struggled with the excruciating pain that coursed through her body.

Her memory of that night, suddenly returned with overwhelming force, making her gasp in horror and humiliation. Elizabeth was unable to hold back the tears that streamed down her face, as she remembered all they had done to her. She grasped the pillow to her chest, trying in vain to find some sort of comfort, as sobs racked through her body. She felt she was slowly suffocating from the pain that threatened to rip her apart.

Carson had been checking on Elizabeth frequently, as he had promised Jack and the others he would notify them, the moment Elizabeth woke up. Jack had spent all night sitting with Elizabeth, and had just recently been hounded out by Carson, to get some much needed rest.

Returning with Elizabeth's pain relief, that were at present, being dispensed through her IV fluids, Carson realised with dismay, that Elizabeth was not only awake, but very distressed. His heart cried out to her as he rushed to her side. It was plain from the agony in her cries, that she was reliving the horror of what had happened to her. Carson was furious at himself, for not being with her the moment she woke up.

Sitting down on the bed beside her, Carson gently scooped her in to his arms. "O lass l am so sorry, l didn't realise you were awake, l wanted there to be someone with you when you did. Your safe now, no one here is going to hurt you."

When finally her sobs subsided slightly, Carson gently helped her sit up, propping her pillows up to support her. Although still in obvious distress she was quieter now, and Carson sat down beside her, gently holding her hand.

"You had us all worried for a while you know, we thought we were going to lose you. It's your stubborn determination that has got you this far and will also see you see through this Elizabeth."

"Carson how, l can't do this, it's too hard, l don't want to remember, but it's always going to be there, never letting me forget," cried Elizabeth in anguish.

"I am not going to pretend otherwise Elizabeth, it going to be a long and difficult road for you, but you can do it and you won't be alone. Lass we will all be here for you, not just me but your family and friends also."

"What friends Carson, the only friends l have now are my mum and Jack," sobbed Elizabeth.

"Don't l count as your friend," asked Carson. "I will here to care for you, l am certainly not going to walk away knowing how much you are suffering."

Elizabeth looked up uncertainty still evident in her eyes and Carson could also see fear in them, fear of what the immediate future held for her. Carson wished there was something he could do or say that would take that look away, give Elizabeth some peace.

"You know you do have friends still," Carson told her his voice full of compassion. "Who you think has been by your bedside all this time, encouraging you to come through this. Those same people will be there to help you through this, to help you come to terms with what has happened."

Elizabeth sobs intensified again as she experienced feelings of horror and embarrassment, "No... l can't please Carson. I can't face them knowing they are aware of what... of the things that happened. I feel ashamed Carson, l just can't... "

"None of this is your fault Elizabeth, you need to accept that. There was no way you could have prevented it." Carson soothed, his tone firm but gentle.

Elizabeth suddenly looked at Carson as something dawned on her. "Carson... why... why are you here, what about Atlantis.

"Jack felt you would be happier, with a doctor you knew, to see to your care and treatment, so he asked me to come," Carson explained. "I am so glad he did, l want to be here for you Elizabeth."

"Leaning back into Carson, feeling comforted somewhat, by the knowledge he was going to be there for her, Elizabeth whispered brokenly, "Carson l missed you, l wish l could take back all those terrible things l did. I would give anything to be able to go back to Atlantis..." Elizabeth was crying softly now, Carson only just barely heard her last words "Carson l miss John."

"May be you will get the chance to tell him," replied Carson looking at Elizabeth. Possibly this time he will have it in him to forgive you."

Elizabeth struggled to sit up, trying to ignore the agonising pain as she did so. "Carson he will never be able to forgive me, why should he. What l did to John was cruel; l betrayed him in the worst way possible, causing him immense pain and humiliation."

"Lass there no denying what you did was wrong. It still doesn't mean you cannot be forgiven. Elizabeth it was wrong of all of us not to realise how much you were suffering as well. John had the support of his friends but you were left with no one."

"I deserved to suffer," sobbed Elizabeth. That's why I am being punished now, as retribution for all the hurt I have caused. I ruined John's life Carson; l ripped it into a million pieces, and threw it away, not caring of the consequences for John. How he must hate me, never wanting to set eyes on me again ever."

"Well it didn't stop his feelings of devastation, when he heard you had been badly injured," Carson explained, "Neither did it prevent, him from maintaining a constant vigil, by your bedside, willing you out of the coma you had fallen into."

Elizabeth stared at Carson in astonishment "John... John's here."

Smiling at her Carson answered. "Yes John is here, so are the rest of his team, and Colonel Carter. They have been taking it in turn sitting with you. John seems to have secured your mum's affection and they appear to be getting on like a house on fire."

Elizabeth could only stare at Carson, as the words he has spoken slowly sunk in. _John's here, what am l going to say to him._

It wasn't apprehension she felt however, instead she felt at peace, the knowledge that John was close by, made her feel safe somehow, and with that knowledge she shut her eyes, giving in to the exhaustion she had been fighting against, allowing herself the luxury of peaceful slumber.

Sighing Carson was relieved Elizabeth was for the moment resting peacefully, he knew better than to believe this would last however. Elizabeth could well be her own worst enemy, past experiences had proven that. She would never admit to needing help, to afraid that it made her look weak. Carson released Elizabeth wouldn't have that luxury this time however, not if she wanted to take back some of the life, which had been cruelly ripped from her grasp. There was no chance Elizabeth would be able to survive this ordeal single handed. She needed to let her friends back in to her heart, to realise they where their because they want to be, not through some misguided sense of duty. Carson realised he would have to speak to them before they came to visit Elizabeth.

John was in a quandary, he had heard Elizabeth was awake, but didn't know whether he wanted to see her or not. It was different before when she was unconscious, he didn't have to look into her eyes, allow her access to the betrayal he still felt John doubted he was strong enough to deal with the many emotions that would come flooding back to the surface. Emotions he had just managed to keep under lock and key.

He rubbed his forehead, the headache that had started as a dull throb, now felt like someone was beating it with drum sticks.

The rumbling coming from his stomach, reminded him it was some time since he had eaten. Making his way to the breakfast area breakfast, John noticed as he entered that he was the last one in, all the rest of his team were already tucking into a cooked breakfast.

He acknowledged them with a nod but groaned inwardly, he really couldn't face engaging in a conversation right now. He wanted time to think, realising irritably he wouldn't get it, not with Rodney's constant rambling, especially if he had heard the news about Elizabeth.

True to form, John hadn't even sat down, before Rodney started.

"Have you heard the good news" Rodney asked excitedly, as John was about to lay his tray on the table. "Elizabeth is awake and talking."

John just nodded but didn't say anything as he sat down.

"Well you aren't happy," said Rodney "Its brilliant news, Carson says she should make a full recovery."

"Hold on there a minute Rodney," exclaimed Carson on overhearing Rodney's statement, as he came in to the breakfast area. "Don't put words in my mouth, what l actually said was, I hope she is on the road to recovery. However there are still a number of hurdles, for her to overcome first of all."

"I know" replied Rodney, but she can do it, after all we're there to help her."

"It's not going to be as easy as all that, Carson said sadly. " Unfortunately she is under the impression... Carson glanced briefly at John. "Elizabeth thinks she deserved what happened, as some kind of punishment for what she did to you John."

"How can she think, she deserved to be beaten nearly to death, and raped john replied angrily? Does she think that's what I would have wanted? I may have been angry and disgusted at her, but I would never have wished or wanted any harm to come to her."

"No John that's not what she thinks at all. She does however, think she brought this on herself," Carson explained. The problem is, until we can make her think otherwise, Elizabeth's mental state is not going to improve, we are all going to have to be gentle but firm with her."

"The only people, that are to blame for this, are that bastard Simon and those other animals. Why couldn't they have just turned them over to us, exclaimed Ronon angrily. "I would take immense pleasure in making them suffer as much as Dr Weir is suffering."

"I know, I think we all feel the same, but l also know that's not what Elizabeth would want. They will be punished though; they will be looking at a very long prison sentence."

"That's still too good for them," exclaimed Rodney.

"I know Rodney," answered Carson, "but the person we need to devote our attention to at the moment is Elizabeth. As l have said, she is going to need us even if she is unwilling to accept it. We have to make her understand we want to be there for her."

Every one nodded in agreement, everyone apart from John.

Standing up his expression dark and sullen, "I can't do it; l can't give her the encouragement she needs..."

"John l thought you said you didn't blame Elizabeth?" asked Rodney.

"She's not to blame, not for what's happened to her, and l could never think otherwise," replied John the hurt evident in his voice, "but l can't forget the other things she has done. I though l could l tried, l really did, but l can't forgive her. I'm sorry..."

With that John pushed back his chair, and stormed out, leaving his untouched breakfast behind.

Rodney got up to go after him, but Carson stopped him.

"Leave the lad be, it's a difficult time for him right now, and we can't force him into something he doesn't want to do."

"Well at least we won't have to explain to Elizabeth, that after sitting with her all this time, John has decided he really doesn't want to help her after all," Rodney snapped irritably.

"Well unfortunately we will," cringed Carson.

"Why on earth, will we have to tell her? Elizabeth doesn't even know John is here," exclaimed Rodney "Wait... I forgot, John was there with Elizabeth, when she woke up wasn't he?"

"Well yes, he was there actually, however l doubt if she remembers. She was pretty much out of it, when she first came round," replied Carson.

"How would she know Sheppard is here then," asked Ronon.

"I told her... explained to her you were all here; including John, l though it would help ease her pain," answered Carson unhappily. "Instead l have only made it worse for her haven't l. Imagine how this is going to affect her, how devastated she will be, when she realises John isn't coming to see her after all. It's only going to cause her more pain and suffering."

"We could always say, he has been recalled to Atlantis," Rodney suggested hopefully.

"Get a grip Mackay, do you really think she is going to believe that," retorted Ronon. "She's not stupid."

"Ronon...! apologise to Rodney he is only trying to help," Teyla told Ronon rather crossly.

"We will just have to cross that bridge when we come to it," said Carson, "He may even change his mind yet."

"You've got to be kidding," retorted Ronon. "You know how stubborn and determined he can be, when he sets his mind on something."

They all nodded in agreement, all of them having at one time or another encountered a stubborn and determined colonel. It was a daunting and not very pleasant experience.


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

Sam stood with Jack observing Elizabeth, as Rose fussed over her. "Rose is certainly looking slightly happier, now that Elizabeth has regained consciousness."

"Yes she is. Rose dotes on Elizabeth. She would have been absolutely devastated, if Elizabeth hadn't survived," confirmed Jack.

"Elizabeth seems to be making some progress now, especially thinking back to her prognosis when we first arrived from Atlantis."

Jack was silent for a moment before answering "I am not so sure, physically l think there's some improvement. It's her emotional state I'm concerned about however; this thing has scarred her deeply Sam. Elizabeth still seems to think she deserved it somehow."

Sam suddenly focused her attention on Jack "Why on earth would she think that? There was no way she deserved to be attacked in that manner."

"Elizabeth is still under the impression she deserves to be punished for her treatment of John," answered Jack sadly, "no matter how Rose and l have tried to convince her otherwise."

"Jack that's awful there must be something we can do to help her," said Sam.

"I just wish l knew what, it isn't helping that she is heartbroken, over the obvious absence of John. I think Elizabeth would have dealt with it better, if she weren't aware of the time he spent by her bedside, when she was unconscious. It gave her false hope that may be, they could salvage something from the wreckage of their relationship," Jack informed Sam grimly.

"How did you explain john's absence to her?" asked Sam.

"I didn't have to," sighed Jack "after everyone come to visit her, and there was no sign of John, the expression of disappointment on her face said it all. Why he would do this to her is beyond me. Elizabeth tries to make out it doesn't matter, but you only have to see her face drop, whenever someone visits her and john isn't with them to see how upset she is."

"You can't really blame John either Jack." Sam replied in concern. "You didn't see him, when l first took over, the Command of Atlantis. At first l thought there was no way back for him, in fact if it wasn't for his friend's, l think he would have lost it completely. The latest turn of events with Elizabeth has just thrown him back into turmoil again. He hasn't found a way to deal with it yet."

"I know," replied Jack, "l just hope he learns how to deal with it and fast. My feelings are that Elizabeth's chances, of coming through this relatively unscathed, rest with John."

"Still it's a lot to ask of him Jack, no matter what has happened to Elizabeth, it still doesn't change the fact that she cheated on John," said Sam sadly. "No matter how much she regrets it."

"You know l have never understood why," exclaimed Jack. "In fact, l feel there is something strange about the whole circumstances surrounding it..."

"What... what do you mean," Jack asked Sam, confused as to what Jack was implying.

"Can you explain why Elizabeth would so blatantly flaunt the fact that she had slept with Simon." Said Jack his expression grim. "Sam you know Elizabeth pretty well by now. Do you think it's in her nature to knowingly hurt John in that manner, because l don't?"

"I don't know her as well as you Jack, but l have to agree with you, Elizabeth has always come across as being a gentle and caring person. Someone who would rather take pain than cause pain to someone," agreed Sam, "However, as much as we wish they weren't, the facts are undeniable Jack. Remember John found her in bed with Simon, the evidence at what she had taken part in undeniable."

"Explain to me then Sam, how... how come Elizabeth can't remember having sex with Simon? Doesn't that strike you as a trifle odd? Come on... you don't simply forget sleeping with someone."

"It could be her brain is playing tricks on her, may be subconsciously she is denying that it happened, so her mind blocks it out."

"But why would she sleep with Simon in the first place, especially when it was obvious to everyone how she felt about John?" asked Jack.

"I do find it strange as well, as to why; why she would want to sleep with Simon. Unless she still had some feelings left for him and she just got carried away. They were engaged before Elizabeth left for Atlantis, so she must have felt something for him."

"I don't believe that, not when she obviously adored John, l don't trust Simon, especially after what's happened, what we know he is capable," Jack exclaimed. "Sam I just have this horrible feeling that Simon somehow planned it all, and watched as Elizabeth took the fall for it."

"What are you implying Jack," exclaimed Sam in shock. "Are you trying to say it was all a set up, instigated by Simon?"

"I'm not sure yet Sam," replied Jack. "Don't go saying anything to anyone just yet, at the moment its only speculation."

"How on earth would we get the truth now anyway," asked Sam. "It's not as if we can force the truth out of Simon."

"If l thought it would do any good, I would like to do more than simply beat the truth out of him. He deserves harsher payback than simply being locked up in prison," Jack answered, trying not to let his fury at Simon get the better of him."

Sam laid an hand on Jack's arm in concern, "It's okay Jack, l think we all feel the same way, but our main focus has got to be Elizabeth. It would only cause Elizabeth greater distress, if we retaliate in that manner; the chances of get him alone, are practically none existent anyway."

"Your right, l don't think, even if we got time alone with him, it would make any difference," sighed Jack in despair. "He seems to get off on making Elizabeth suffer. He would no doubt take great enjoyment, in knowing we suspected something, but needed him to acknowledge it. There is no way I'm going to allow him the chance of inflicting more suffering on Elizabeth. There is one other option though..."

Sam observed Jack for a moment, as he suddenly went quiet, obviously contemplating something. "Jack...!"

Jack eventually spoke his thoughts out aloud. "There is one person... someone who may have information, even a small shred of evidence, without realising the significance of it."

"Who else could possibly know, any more than we know already?" asked Sam, confused.

"Dr Beckett..." answered Jack

"Carson...!" Sam exclaimed in surprise. "How on earth would Carson know any more than anyone else?"

"Well he examined Elizabeth the day after. Maybe there was something he missed without even realising it," explained Jack "But as l was saying, at present this is only speculation. No one else must know anything about it, not until l get more proof."

"Don't worry Jack, l won't say anything. Let me know the moment you get anywhere with it thought. If we discovered it was true, it may save the relationship of one devastated couple."

Jack smiled slightly "Thanks for been so understanding about this Sam. It means a lot to me, knowing you been there not only for me, but for Elizabeth also. I'm sorry, I know it's not the holiday we had planned, but l promise l will try my best to make it up to you, when all of this has settled. We will still have our time together."

Sam replied warmly "Jack it's okay, l realise how much Elizabeth needs you right now, how much she needs all of us. There will be plenty time for us later, you will just have to make it up to me."

"Jack laughed,"And what exactly do you have in mind?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out" Sam teased.

Rose was observing her daughter in concern. Elizabeth was far from fine, despite her insistence she was. Thankfully the excruciating pain, she was suffering, was more or less under control now, in fact Carson had been discussing with Rose, the possibility of commencing therapy on Elizabeth's legs.

Carson had explained this would be beneficial, in helping Elizabeth recover some movement in her lower limbs However Carson had also stressed it was still too early to determine if Elizabeth would in fact ever walk again.

There was a drawback however, the therapy would cause Elizabeth a great deal of pain, but although Carson was reluctant to make things harder for Elizabeth, he felt they had no choice.

Carson had explained to Rose he would be discussing it with Elizabeth later that day, as there was no point in delaying it until later. Rose had been upset, at the thought of Elizabeth facing even more pain, but she had given Carson the go ahead, all be it reluctantly. Rose trusted Carson, realizing he wouldn't implement something that would cause Elizabeth even greater distress and suffering, if it wasn't absolutely necessary.

Rose tenderly patted Elizabeth's hand. "How are you doing darling."

"Okay just a bit sore and tired," replied Elizabeth without enthusiasm.

"Are you sleeping any better yet," Rose asked knowing what the answer would be, she could clearly see Elizabeth was exhausted.

Elizabeth shook her head, and it disturbed Rose to see tears starting to roll down Elizabeth cheeks.

"I can't sleep..." sobbed Elizabeth. Whenever l shut my eyes l can see them, feel them as if it's still happening, and it all comes flooding back. l can feel their hands all over me, l remember the smell of their breath, the feeling of revulsion as they... as they..." Elizabeth broke down in floods of tears unable to deal with the emotions she was feeling.

Rose cuddled Elisabeth as much as her present condition would allow, realising Elizabeth needed this release of emotion. This was the first time she had broken down, instead had been bottling it all up inside. Rose had been waiting for the inevitable breakdown. She knew Elizabeth needed this, knew this was just the beginning. Elizabeth would suffer days when the revulsion, the pain and the terror would become too much to deal with on her own.

Rose knew however, that not only herself, but every other person close to Elizabeth, would be there waiting, ready to provide the support necessary, to help Elizabeth through this. Rose was shocked at Elizabeth's next words however.

Unable to look at her mum, Elizabeth sobbed "you must be so ashamed of me, how can you not be. How can anyone love me after what I have done, after what l allowed them to do to me."

"Elizabeth you didn't allow then to hurt you, there was no way you could have prevented it. Also l could never be ashamed of you," answered Rose in dismay, don't ever think that..."

"Why did Simon let them do it mum, why did he let them rape me over and over again? How could he beat me like that, l wish l had just died, who would miss me anyway. If l had died at least l wouldn't have to suffer all this pain and humiliation," sobbed Elizabeth, her heart breaking.

"Elizabeth honey, do really think that's what your friends wanted. You didn't see them when they arrived, they were distraught. Okay you may have disappointed them, but they still care a great deal for you and that includes john. l think he realises this himself, that's why he is giving himself such a hard time. He wants to be with you but he doesn't know how to. He is still hurting, and his pride is preventing him behaving the way he wants to, we just need to give him time. From what l have learned of him so far, he will find away to do the right thing."

Elizabeth eventually looked up at Rose, and the hurt and haunted look in her eyes, chilled Rose to the bone.

"Elizabeth how do you think l would have felt, if l had lost you, l would have been lost, your all l have, and you mean the world to me. I want the chance to help you through this. l would rather have you battered and broken, but alive, than the alternative. You may not feel like it just now, everything is still to raw, the hurt and pain to real, but given time you can and you will heal."

Rose stroked Elizabeth's hair trying to comfort her, hoping somehow to make Elizabeth see there was something to fight for, a reason to live for.

"As for Simon well that's another thing all together. He is just an animal, a fiend, who gets off on seeing other people suffer. At least he is locked up where he belongs, and had the decency to admit what he had done to you."

"Mum l can't testify, l couldn't bear it, please don't make me" cried Elizabeth, a look of terror on her face.

"You won't have to darling they have pleaded guilty. Hush now don't upset yourself, they'll never get to hurt you again." Rose held Elizabeth in the comfort of her arms, feeling more at ease when she felt Elizabeth calming down slightly.

Still not wanting to move out of the safety and security of her mum's arms Elizabeth mumbled "why did he ruin everything l had with John mum. Why did he destroy the one most important person in my life, apart from you, when he never really wanted me?"

"Honey I'm afraid it's just the kind of man he is. He ruins anything precious he touches." He has failed this time though; l am going to make sure of that. We are not going to let him win."

Cradling Elizabeth face in her hands, Rose made sure she had Elizabeth's full attention

"Elizabeth you are going to come through this. Together, you and l will show those animals that you are stronger than them. No matter what they have done to you... you will survive."


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

Rose was thankful that Elizabeth had fallen into a relatively peaceful sleep. She had been thinking over the conversation she'd just had with Elizabeth, realising it was going to be a long time if ever before Elizabeth fully recovered. If only John would find it in his heart to forgive Elizabeth, then and only then, would her daughter stand a chance of finding happiness once again. Rose knew that Elizabeth would never give John any reason to doubt her again if he were to accept her back into his life.

She was startled out of her thoughts as Carson came along side Elizabeth's bed side.

"So my favourite patient has finally given into the call of sleep," Carson asked quietly, careful of disturbing Elizabeth.

Rose got up to join Carson, wanting to ensure they wouldn't be overhead if Elizabeth awakened from her sleep.

"Eventually," replied Rose. "Carson she was exhausted, she is still having a hard time sleeping. Whenever she shuts her eyes, the memories of that night return to haunt her. I think the only reason she has succumbed to sleep this time, is because she's worn out and she also knows l am here to protect her."

Carson nodded, "yes l have been speaking to her about it. She really needs to see a psychologist to help her work through her feelings but she blatantly refuses." Carson ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "Rose I don't know whether you may have more success in trying to persuade her. If not the only alternative is to take away her right of choice, on the grounds that her denial, is detrimental to her recovery. I don't want to resort to that however, not unless it's absolutely necessary. It would only cause her more distress and possibly alienate her."

Rose acknowledged the dilemma they faced. "I understand Carson, something has to be done; Elizabeth needs help even if she doesn't want to accept it. I will have a word with her about it, when she has rested.

"Hopefully she will listen to you Rose, it would be a huge step in her recovery, if she were to find a way of dealing with the repulsion and terror she is feeling," said Carson.

"What about the treatment you were speaking about earlier, when are you going to speak to Elizabeth about that," asked Rose, although she couldn't stop the cold shiver that ran down her back, as she thought what this would mean for Elizabeth.

"Well actually that's what l came to speak to Elizabeth about," replied Carson sadly. "Rose l know it's not going to be at all pleasant for her. I wish there was another way but unfortunately theirs not."

Rose nodded her head sadly. "I know you wouldn't cause Elizabeth any more suffering, unless it was truly necessary. I just wish there was another way, the thought of Elizabeth suffering even more... "

At that moment the very person they were discussing started to stir. Both doctor and visitor shared a quick glance, each thinking the same. Wishing Carson didn't have to deliver the news that would result in more distress for the one person who had suffered so much already. Wishing they could put of this moment whilst knowing in reality it had to be done.

Rose whispered quietly, "Carson would you rather l stayed, whilst you explain to Elizabeth about the treatment."

Carson shook his head. "No its okay, It's probably best that l discuss this with Elizabeth alone, if that's okay."

"That's Okay Carson, l agree with you" Rose acknowledged. "I'll just let Elizabeth know, that l will be back later."

Rose walked back over to Elizabeth's bed. "Darling, Carson wants to have a word with you, so l am just going to take the chance to go and freshen up slightly. Don't worry l will be back shortly okay."

Elizabeth nodded sleepily,"okay mum, you won't be too long will you though...?"

"I promise l will be gone and back before you even notice," replied Rose gently. Rose bent down and kissed her daughter lovingly, before saying her farewells to Carson, and leaving him to deliver the unpleasant news to Elizabeth. Her intention, now that she had some free time on her hands, was to pay someone a visit, and by god he was going to listen to her.

Carson sat gently on the bed and softly grasped hold of Elizabeth's hand. "Well lass, I'm happy to say your injuries are healing well. However we really need to help the muscles in your legs become stronger, if you are going to have any chance of walking again."

Elizabeth looked at Carson, a worried expression on her face. She didn't like the sound of this. "What... do you mean Carson?"

Well now that the traction has been removed and your fractures are healing well it's time we commenced the next step. The physiotherapist will be working with you, to see how we can improve your chances of walking again. I have to forewarn you though lass, it's going to be a long and painful process. We will try and deal with the pain, by regulating your analgesia...

Elizabeth eyes were wide with fear as she cried softly, "No... Carson!"

Carson sighed, wishing he didn't have to do this, but knowing there was no other way. He had to be firm with Elizabeth, would have to insist this went ahead, against Elizabeth's wishes if necessary. "Lass there is no other option we have to start these exercises and soon."

Elizabeth was sobbing now. "Please... Carson it's too soon. It will be too painful; I'm not ready for that yet. Carson please don't..."

Carson felt dreadful having to insist on it, "Elizabeth l am sorry but the longer we delay, the lower your chances of regaining some use of your legs become. I can't deny it's going to be painful, but it will get better l promise you."

Gathering Elizabeth into his arms, Carson tried to offer her some comfort "come on its going to be okay. It will be worth all the pain when you take you first steps again. Just you wait and see."

"When do I have to start?" Elizabeth was quieter, but still visibly distressed.

"Tomorrow..." sighed Carson, knowing this would further upset Elizabeth.

"Why does it have to be so soon," cried Elizabeth "can't you give me a few more days?"

"No as l said, the sooner we get started, the better your chances will be." Carson hated that he had to be so firm with Elizabeth He knew a couple more days wouldn't have made any difference but he also knew Elizabeth. If he agreed to her wish, by granting a few days reprieve, she would just worry about it anyway.

Carson sat with Elizabeth, until she eventually fell once more into an exhausted sleep. He stood up but watched over her for a moment. Sighing in despair, Carson wishing there was something that could be done, to relieve the horrific events, Elizabeth had to endure.

Looking at his watch Carson was shocked at the time. Jack had called earlier and had arranged to see him. Although Jack hadn't specified what it was about, the tone of his voice had been enough for Carson to speculate it was something of important. What it could be Carson had no idea.

He realised he would just have enough time to get a quick cup of coffee be for Jack arrived. With a last glance at Elizabeth, to pacify himself she was still sleeping peaceful, Carson left, but not before instructing the nurses, to notify him immediately, if Elizabeth showed any visible signs of distress.

Rose had finally tracked down the person she wanted to speak, to after his friends kindly pointed her in the right direction, wishing her luck as they knew without asking what it was about.

John was in the gym working out when Rose entered. He was trying to get some relief from his pent up emotions, but so far nothing seemed to be working. Elizabeth seemed to consume his thoughts night and day. He couldn't remember when he last had a decent night's sleep. He knew if he continued like this something would have to give, and so had come to a decision. The only one he saw open to him. He was going to return to Atlantis, it was the only way of maintaining his sanity.

John turned round and stopped as the door opened, then sighed when he saw who it was. "Rose..."

"That looks like some work out, you've been given yourself son" said Rose

"I am trying to work through a few things, sometimes this helps" answered John.

Rose observed John, noting his pained expression. "And tell me truthfully John, has it helped any or are you still searching for answers.

John was silent for a moment, and then dropped his eyes to the floor. "No its not... but I think you already realise it."

Rose felt only compassion for John, despite how much her daughter was hurting because of John's absence. She instinctively knew John was a good person, kind and loyal. It was also obvious to her, that John was a man, who had difficulty in dealing with his emotions. Rose also knew John was a victim in this mess just as much as Elizabeth was. "Talk to me John, tell me how you are truly feeling. Don't hold back, just because I am Elizabeth's mother."

John hesitated for a moment before looking up. He didn't like to discuss his feeling with anybody preferring to keep them to himself, to deal with them alone. For some reason though, he felt comforted slightly, by Rose's presence. Suddenly he felt here was a person he could be open and honest with, someone who wouldn't judge him, even though her daughter was in so much pain, because of him. He had never felt this at ease with anyone before apart from Elizabeth. The very thought of Elizabeth brought the stabbing pain back to his chest.

"John..." Rose began. "Lad l know that you are hurting and probably don't feel like talking, but it may just help you deal with things better. Make them clearer."

John hesitated for a moment staring at the floor before to coming to a decision. Then as he opened his mouth all the feelings, all the hurt every single emotion that had been held back came flooding out as if the dam that held them back had disintegrated. "I thought I could deal with the situation, kept telling myself I don't feel anything for her anymore that, she had destroyed all the love that I had for her."

John looked up at Rose his eyes glistening with unshed tears. Rose could see how much John needed this release, but she also saw the pain and heartache it was causing him. "Rose I thought... l really thought because of this that, just maybe, l could be of some use to Elizabeth. Possibly help her get through this. I wanted to offer her friendship, to see if this would allow her the chance to get better, enable her to get on with her life."

John stopped briefly before continuing. "But I can't do it Rose, it hurts too much. Its brings all the hurt, the disappointment all the dark anger , so much so that l feel it turning me into someone l don't like. Someone l have only managed to vanquish. Rose l don't want to become that person again. I can't go down that road a second time. I barely survived the first time."

Rose laid a hand on John's arm, trying to offer him some comfort, she didn't say a word however knowing it wasn't time for that yet. There was still more John needed of his chest, so she waited patiently for him to continue.

John looked at Rose with tear filled eyes. "Rose when l saw Elizabeth... l felt my heart was slowly being torn apart. The sight of her lying there so broken, so badly beaten, l just wanted to gather her into my arms. To tell her that no one would ever harm her again, to protect her from everything that is bad and rotten in this world."

Rose looked at John in confusion "John if that how you felt, then what's changed that you can't offer that protection now."

"Because l came to realise that l couldn't protect her from myself. That l would be the one who would inflict more pain and heartache on her." John replied in anguish.

"Why on earth, makes you think that John. All l can see is how much you obviously care for Elizabeth. How will that care cause her more heartache?"

Rose l know it, because the hurt and betrayal l felt are still there. They will eventually return to haunt me, and l know when they do, it will not only be myself that will suffer, it will be Elizabeth also. So you see Rose, how can l promise to protect her, when l will be the one responsible for causing her more heartache."

Rose looked at John long and hard, taking in his suffering. She could also tell that the suffering was caused by one emotion alone, an emotion that he continued to deny to himself. The same emotion he felt, but stubbornly refused to acknowledge, the first time he found Elizabeth lying so desperately ill that day in the hospital. An emotion that Rose wondered even now whether he would admit to "John answer me one thing look deep into your heart and tell me, do you still love my daughter"

Startled John stared a Rose in shock, but recognition finally appearing in his eyes, in his expression. The reason for his present anguish, suddenly, becomes shockingly clear. "You knew... all along Rose. You could tell something that l didn't want to think about, never mind acknowledge. You knew... you know the reason that l can't bear to be with Elizabeth is because yes... l still love her..."

"Yes John l realised you still loved my daughter that first day in the hospital. As we sat with her, not knowing if we were going to lose her, l could see the love, not only in your eyes, but in your despair that equalled mine." Rose took hold of both John hands and looked up into his eyes. "That is why you are still suffering John and running away from it won't help. Only by dealing with it properly will you find the answer you desperately long for. No one but you can do that John, no one can tell you what's the right thing for you to do. That decision rests entirely with you.

Rose turned to leave, but stopped for a moment, pondering whether to tell him the other thing she was certain about. Her decision made she turned round briefly "One other thing l feel you should be told, before leaving you to come to a decision. I know without any doubt my daughter is still head over heels in love with you,"

With that the door swung shut as Rose made her exit, leaving a dumbfounded Colonel Sheppard to ponder on her last words.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Carson sat tapping his pen on the desk, as his impatience started to get the better of him. He was anxiously waiting for Jack, curious to find out what he wanted to discuss. Whatever it was about, it had to be important. Jack had specifically asked Carson to ensure that their conversation be held in private.

Finally Carson heard Jack's footsteps as he headed towards Carson's office. _At last_ thought Carson, now he would find out what this was all about.

Jack looked relieved to discover the room was empty, apart from Carson himself. Carson also realised, by the grim and serious expression on Jack's face, that whatever he wanted to speak about was of high importance.

Carson was the first to speak. "Well Jack you have me intrigued. What do you want to speak to me about that is so urgently?"

Taking a deep breath Jack asked, "Carson l take it we aren't likely to be disturbed, l would prefer to discuss this in private."

"No you can relax we won't be disturbed. l kind of gathered from what you said already, that you wanted to have this conversation without the risk of anyone eavesdropping. My staff have orders not to disturb me, unless it's absolutely essential."

Jack nodded "I want to discuss something, which has been concerning me regarding Elizabeth."

"I had an inclination it may be something to do with the lass. Why so secretive though?" asked Carson slightly mystified.

"Carson you examined Elizabeth the day after the thing with her and Simon. Did you notice or sense anything off with her?"

What do you mean Jack, she had a head wound and was a bit disoriented and very distressed but that was understandable given the circumstances. I'm not sure where you're going with this," Carson replied confused.

Have you never thought it just a bit strange Carson, that Elizabeth has no recollection of what occurred that night? Come on it's a bit odd. Surely to god you would remember sleeping with someone, having sex with that person!"

Carson stared at Jack still confused as to what Jack was trying to imply. "Are you trying to say she never slept with Simon, because she has never denied it?"

"No, but she can't remember anything either dam it Carson. That's the thing that keeps going round and round in my head," replied Jack

"She may have just blanked it out or is in denial." Jack it's causing her immense grief, making her realise all she has lost. It's just possible that the only way she can live with herself is to somehow forget about it. The brain is a strange and complex organ and it's amazing what it can accomplish sometimes, when under extreme duress," explained Carson.

Jack shook his head sadly "l don't think it's that simple Carson. You never saw Elizabeth when she got back here, and she never improved any, right up until the incident with that bastard Simon. She keeps tormenting herself, trying to figure out why it happened. Another thing, it's plain for anyone to see, who she is mad about and that's never changed. One think for certain, no way was it ever that creep Simon.

Carson sighed in frustration. "I still don't see how that makes any difference to the circumstances. John found them together, the evidence was damming."

Jack was pacing, unable to control his agitation. "Carson there must be some reason for it; my instincts tell me there's something were missing."

"As much as l would like to prove Elizabeth's innocence in all this," answered Carson sadly, "l just don't see how it's possible."

Carson suddenly stood up as realization begun to dawn on him, and was unable to prevent a gasp of dismay. "Bloody hell Jack how could l be so stupid. I can't believe l never thought of it sooner."

Jack shot Carson a look if irritation. "Carson can't you just get to the point."

"Well the thing we have been overlooking is Simon was a doctor. What's the bet he found out about Elizabeth and John's relationship, and was out for revenge? What better revenge could he exact than what's happened," said Carson in disgust.

Jack stopped his pacing and turned to face Carson. "And the fact that he was a doctor means he could..."

"It means he would know the best way of drugging someone without it being detected. Simon would also be aware of the effects it would have on that person, if it was ingested," answered Carson, a sick feeling in his stomach.

"Carson if that's true..." exclaimed Jack in dismay.

"My god...Jack, do you realise what that means? That poor lass has had to suffer untold horrors needlessly. All that suffering and abuse, not only at the hands of Simon, but also from every single person on Atlantis, endured needlessly. To think l have been party to that suffering, it makes me ashamed to call myself her friend."

Jack frowned in concern. "Now Carson none of this is your fault. You can't place blame on yourself like that, you weren't to know..."

"Bloody hell Jack how can it not be my fault, I'm a doctor after all. I should have realised something wasn't right."

Placing a hand compassionately on Carson's shoulder Jack replied, "Yes you're a doctor but that doesn't mean you should have noticed it anymore than anyone else. You said yourself Simon would have known a drug to use that wouldn't be detected. Which leads us to the problem in hand, how do we prove that Simon drugged Elizabeth."

Carson took a deep breath trying to still the horrible feeling of having failed Elizabeth. "There is the analysis I obtained from the sample l took of Elizabeth blood, when she was in the infirmary. It's still in Elizabeth's file back on Atlantis. I was going to discard it when Elizabeth left, but never got round to it. Jack l need to get word to Atlantis, get them to send me a copy of it. I'm not promising anything, but there is remote chance l missed something, simply due to the fact l wasn't looking for it."

"Okay Carson as soon as you find out anything let me know straight away. In the meantime we need to keep the allegations strictly to ourselves. The only other person l have mentioned this to is Sam, and she know the importance of keeping it quiet, for the time being at least."

Carson nodded in agreement and both men departed to try and obtain the evidence that would prove Elizabeth's innocence.

John was still in a quandary about what he should do. General Landry had already agreed John's return to Atlantis and he was due to depart aboard the Deagalus later that day.

He had been wandering aimlessly, his friends for once, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

Taking in his surroundings, he was shocked to discover he was just a few feet away from Elizabeth's room. John was about to hastily turn around fearful of being discovered, a noise however stopped him dead in his tracks, knowing instinctively where it was coming from. The tormented crying resounding from the room, almost broke his heart. _God Elizabeth! _

John hurried in the direction of the cries without a moment's hesitation, his only intent, to be with Elizabeth. What he saw however when he glanced in, almost devastated him. He could see the physiotherapists working on her legs, but what disturbed him was the appearance of Elizabeth sitting on the bed, her whole body shaking with the sobs that racked her body, as she fought in vain to keep the excruciating pain at bay. There was an aura of sheer panic and despair about her, whilst her face was grey and pinched with pain.

John knew the debate he had been holding with himself was answered, and he felt like a weight had been lifted from him, leaving him with just one thing on his mind. Elizabeth needed him, and John realised in surprise, he needed to be with Elizabeth.

Without another though, John approached Elizabeth bedside. The look of disbelief and shock on Elizabeth's face, when she looked up and noticed John, mixed with sadness, was almost too much for him to bear. Pulling himself together he sat done on the bed, whilst gently cupping Elizabeth's face in his hands. John tenderly wiped away her tears before placing a tender kiss on her forehead. "It's okay you're not going to do this on your own, I've got you."

Elizabeth collapsed trembling against John, her head cushioned against his neck, as she continued to cry. John continued to support her whilst the physiotherapist looked up at him gratefully.

The physiotherapist smiled slightly "We are just about finished, l afraid it has been very traumatic for Dr Weir today. At least she has you now to give her support."

John could only nod, before returning him attention back to Elizabeth. She was holding onto him for dear life and hadn't said a word yet.

The session was thankfully short lived. When the physiotherapists had finished, John helped them make Elizabeth more comfortably. John could see she was clearly exhausted and was still trembling, but she was also very reluctant to let him go

"Elizabeth honey you need to lay back and rest," John said soothingly whilst gently tucking her curls behind her ears

"No...!" cried a still very distraught Elizabeth, because "if I do that I will wake up and it will all have been a dream, you'll not really be here." Elizabeth started crying uncontrollably.

"It's not a dream Elizabeth," john told her gently, trying to somehow make her understand. "I'm here and I'm certainly not going to go away."

"It has to be a dream," sobbed Elizabeth, "how can it be otherwise. There is no you and l anymore. You told me yourself remember, but l don't blame you, how can l after what l did to you, the hurt l caused you. It's understandable that you hate me. No one will want me now anyway, not after what Simon and his friends did."

"I don't hate you Elizabeth I thought l did once but not anymore. I don't know what the future holds for us but I know I have no future without you. Okay there's no denying we have major issues to work through, but we can work on these together. Do you hear what I'm saying Elizabeth, I'm willing to give you another chance, give us another chance what do you say?"

"But how can you after all that I've put you through, all the hurt I've caused you?" sobbed Elizabeth still not daring to believe what John was saying. "Why would you do this?"

"Because... I still love you Elizabeth and if I'm not wrong I believe you love me too."

Elizabeth nodded her head but remained silent, not yet convinced.

"As for what happened with Simon and the other thugs, you are in no way to blame for the torture they put you through." Lifting up her chin up John ensured she could see the truth radiating from his eyes. "Do you hear me Elizabeth you are in no way at fault? Sweetheart you were the unfortunate victim, but you will come out victorious. I give you my word. It's not going to be easy, today has been proof of that, but l will be there by your side every step of the way. I will be there to comfort you when you're in pain, to hold you and protect you when you are afraid."

Elizabeth realised finally what he was saying was true. John had finally forgiven her. She suddenly felt safe and loved again and sunk into his arms, feeling as if she was once again cocooned in his protection. For the first time in what seemed ages she felt that she would survive this, feeling the first genuine smile light up her face since that fateful day on Atlantis.


	18. Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

Rose was deep in thought as she made her way to Elizabeth's room. She was feeling guilty about not arriving in time, for Elizabeth's first therapy session. She was also annoyed at herself, realising the despair and fear Elizabeth would have suffered, especially with no one there to comfort and support her.

Rose anxiously entered Elizabeth room and but visibly relaxed. She couldn't help but smile at the scene before her, whilst thinking, _l guess our little talk helped. _ "Well am l right in thinking, the two of you have finally realised how you feel about one another?"

John looked at Elizabeth, who was still clinging on to him for dear life, reluctant to let go. John himself was still overwhelmed by the rush of emotions; he was feeling since their reconciliation. It was a joyful experience however, and it showed not only in his expression, but also in his voice, as he replied to Rose's query. "You made me realise l needed to do some serious thinking Rose. Somehow l found myself outside Elizabeth's room, and suddenly l knew where l wanted to be."

Rose shook her head, "John our conversation, wouldn't have changed your mind, unless you already doubted your decision. It possibly helped point you in the right direction, but l have faith you would have made the right choice eventually."

"Possibly Rose," replied John slightly subdued, "but think of the time l would have wasted. I have spent enough time, denying how much l care for Elizabeth. I am ashamed to admit however, that l only realised this, after hearing Elizabeth's tormented cries. It made me realise the only place l wanted to be, was by her side comforting and protecting her.

Elizabeth smiled happily, a feeling of contentment flooded through her, as she heard the words John uttered. She indeed felt protected in his presence, more protected than she had felt in a long time.

John continued, "thankfully Elizabeth found it in her heart to forgive me, and nothing is going to separate us again."

Rose gave them both a big hug, "I'm really happy for the both of you, it will be nice to have a man in the family again.

Elizabeth looked up at her mum and glared "Thanks mum, what was wrong with just the two of us, wasn't l enough for you?"

Both John and Rose burst out laughing at the indignant expression on Elizabeth's face.

Smiling at her daughter Rose replied "Honey you were more than enough. John you should have seen the things my daughter got up to, when she was a child, she nearly had me grey before my time."

"Mum please," retorted Elizabeth, her face scarlet with embarrassment. 

"Carry on Rose, may be l can get ammunition to keep and use at a later date," laughed John.

Elizabeth looked at John, trying to pretend she was annoyed, but failing miserably, especially when he grinned at her. "John you're deplorable sometimes."

"But you still can't help loving me," smirked John.

Elizabeth frowned "I don't know about that," then giggled at the wounded expression on John's face.

Rose could only smile as she listened to the couples banter, amazed at how happy and relaxed Elizabeth was; now she had John to care for her. Rose knew that although Elizabeth still faced a difficult and painful recovery ahead of her, it would be eased somewhat, by John's comforting presence.

John smiled across at Rose with gratitude, his voice becoming more serious but his sincerity clear as he spoke. "Actually Elizabeth, if it wasn't for your mum talking some sense into me, we wouldn't be together now. I am ashamed to admit, l had made arrangements to return to Atlantis this afternoon."

Elizabeth looked at John in alarm, "John… please tell me your not still going back, please… l want you to stay with me."

Sitting down beside her, John gently took Elizabeth into his arms, "Elizabeth sweetheart, there's no way l am going to leave you here on your own. You're stuck with me I'm afraid. You've got your mum to thank for that."

Rose shook her head, "Not at all, as l said you have a good heart John, and you would have come to the same conclusion given time." Rose hesitated slightly before continuing. "Now... on a slightly more serious note, l am delighted that the two of you are working things out. However, you may want to consider seeking professional help."

Seeing Elizabeth startled look Rose laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Sweetheart you need help, to deal with some of the things that both of you have faced. It can only make your relationship stronger, help you cope easier if you hit a rough patch."

"Mum l can't," exclaimed Elizabeth her uncertainty and discomfort evident.

"Elizabeth together we can," John said softly. "It' needs to be done no matter how unpleasant. Anything that helps strengthen our relationship l am all for."

Elizabeth looked at John in surprise, knowing how much he always fought against opening up to anyone like that in the past, even their own resident psychologist. "John... l don't thing l can do it" Elizabeth was trembling as she spoke, a fact John quickly picked up on.

John held her close, "its okay Sweetheart l know it will be hard, especially for you, but you won't be doing this alone you'll have me there as well."

Elizabeth nodded, although still not happy with it, she knew with John there as well, she would get through it.

Rose heart was full of pride for Elizabeth. She knew how hard it was, for Elizabeth to agree to the intervention of professional help. "It can only help darling, l know it isn't a pleasant thought, but given time you will be relieved you agreed to it."

Bending down Rose gave Elizabeth a quick hug "I am going to leave you to rest now honey. I can see how tired you are. Don't worry, l will come back to visit you again when you've rested."

Standing up Rose looked towards John. "Will you be going to get some lunch John?"

John nodded, "Yes l was planning on doing so, how about yourself Rose, would you like some company?"

"That would be lovely, thanks John," replied Rose.

Elizabeth was dismayed when she realised both her visitors were going to leave. She was still uncomfortable with being left alone. Whilst she knew her fears were irrational she couldn't stop herself from worrying that somehow Simon would appear and hurt her again. "Do... you both have to go, l don't need to rest."

"Now Elizabeth you know that's not true, you're clearly exhausted. You have been through a lot today. Try to relax and sleep for a little while," Rose told her gently but firmly.

Elizabeth felt her anxiety rising "Really l am fine, please John can't you stay."

John could see Elizabeth was upset about them leaving, and also recognised the fear in her voice. "How about if l sit with you until you fall asleep, then when you have rested l will bring lunch back for both of us, we can then eat together."

Elizabeth managed a slight smile and replied reluctantly "Okay."

"Is that okay with you Rose?" asked John.

"That's fine, just as long as you have a sleep Elizabeth. You need to rest, no matter how much you're trying to deny it. Carson will be on your case if he thinks you're doing too much," said Rose scolding Elizabeth softly.

"I will mum l promise," replied Elizabeth relieved.

Rose nodded then left them along.

Elizabeth tried to snuggle up to John happy to be alone again with him.

She didn't feel like sharing him at the moment not even with her own mum. "John l don't feel like sleeping just now, l just want to catch up on what I've missed over the last six months."

"Elizabeth," answered John firmly, "you promised!"

"I know John, but l just want to hear about Atlantis…, please..." pleaded Elizabeth.

"Not until you have had a sleep and a sufficient rest," scolded John. "I promise, we can talk about anything you want, after l come back with your lunch, and we have eaten. For now just shut your eyes, l am not going to leave until your asleep okay."

Elizabeth yawned and sighed sadly "John l miss Atlantis."

John was saddened when he heard Elizabeth utter these four words. He didn't have to reply however as she had finally drifted off to sleep. His heart ached for her; John knew it was highly unlikely she would be allowed to return to Atlantis, her physical condition would no doubt prevent it. John realised that even if she did regain the use of her legs the IOA would stand in the way of her reinstatement anyway.

He was adamant about one thing however; there was no way they would keep Elizabeth and him apart. If it meant giving up his position as military commander of Atlantis, he would do so willingly. Elizabeth was his life now and would come first always.

John had left Elizabeth sleeping peacefully. He was anxious to inform his colleagues and friends of his reconciliation with Elizabeth. However after meeting Rose on his way to find them, she had told him that Carson was requesting a meeting with them all in his office.

Everyone else was present when John and Rose arrived at Carson's office. John couldn't prevent the grin that had spread over face as he entered. Jack picked up the change in the Colonel almost immediately.

"Has something happened, you've not told us about Sheppard? asked Jack amused.

"Yes you do seem happier this morning" said Ronon.

John grinned at them, "well that could be because Elizabeth has decided to forgive me for being an idiot and we are back together."

Rodney looked towards John in disbelieve, "What... how did that happen Sheppard. We've all spent the last few days trying to talk sense into you, but our advice was falling on deaf ears."

Throwing Rose a look of gratitude John said "Well Rose helped me realise that running away was never going to solve the situation. It was Elizabeth herself however, who unintentionally, made the decision for me. When I heard her sobbing her heart out because of the pain she was in, l realised how selfish l was being. I knew then l still loved her and wanted to be with her, to give her the love and support she deserves to help her survive this."

"Carson patted John on the back "I am glad it is finally working out for you son. This will remove a major stumbling block in Elizabeth's recovery. The situation between the two of you was eating away at her. You have given her something to fight for."

Jack came over to stand beside Carson, a look of understanding passed between the two of them.

Carson nodded to Jack who immediately took over the conversation. "There's something else we have found out which will now through some light on a situation that has been bothering me for quite some time now," said Jack in a solemn tone. Unfortunately the information we have obtained will bring more anguish and heartbreak for someone who has suffered to much already."

Everyone looked at Jack in confusion, but it was Rose who spoke first. "Jack...please tell me you're not talking about Elizabeth!"

Jack looked apologetically at Rose, "I'm afraid so Rose."

John stood up not liking what he was hearing, "What the hell are you talking about Jack, how much more suffering has she got to endure, and why for god's sake!"

Lifting his hand up Jack realised things were going to get even tenser as the details were revelled "John just give us a minute and Carson and l will explain."

Carson looked at Jack and took a deep breath "I have in my hand the analyst of Elizabeth's blood, from the sample I took, when she was admitted to the infirmary on Atlantis with the head wound."

John visibly cringed as he thought back to how he had been the cause of Elizabeth injury. He forced himself to listen to Carson, as he continued speaking.

"This analyst has given Jack and l, undisputed proof that Elizabeth was drugged the night she was with Simon. The drug has effectively wiped Elizabeth mind of what happened that night prior to John discovering them. This is why Elizabeth can't remember that night and never will."

"Why on earth would he want to drug her?" asked Rodney confused.

John was staring a Carson in shock "What are you getting at Carson."

Carson looked at John understanding the emotions he would be feeling "John I believe Simon planned it, after discovering that the two of you were in a relationship. In his sick mind, he planned what would be the perfect revenge."

"Tell me if I've got this right Carson," asked John horrified. "He caused Elizabeth all this pain and suffering, because he wanted revenge, and why, because he was jealous?" She didn't deserve it she didn't do anything wrong!"

Ronon laid a hand on John shoulder in sympathy. "Neither of you did John."

John shook his head, "but it's Elizabeth that's suffered the most. Can you imagine what she must have gone through; trying to find an answer to something that there was no answer to. Which means, she didn't do any of the things l accused her of," John ran his hands through his hair in anguish. "My god, just think of the devastation she would have felt, in the face of the anger and disgust directed at her, from everyone, for something that she had no hope of preventing."

John stopped then looking at Carson with eyes glistening with unshed tears as something else dawned on him. "Wait he still had sex with her didn't he, still forced himself on her. God Carson… Tell me she wouldn't have known what was happening. Please tell me she didn't have to suffer that as well."

Carson turned slightly "John lad I have to be truthful with you. I'm afraid there is a chance Elizabeth would have been fully was aware what was happening or what was about to happen. To be honest I think it was highly likely; Simon was out for revenge and would have wanted to prolong her suffering. Elizabeth thankfully, will never be able to recall it however; the drug will effectively have wiped her memory of what happened."

"But…" said John the pain evident in his voice, she still knew and no one was there to help her. Dear god she must have been so scared."

Jack who had previously sitting not saying a word, got up and came over to stand beside John "What Carson is trying to say though John is, yes we know what happened, but Elizabeth need never know."

"Unless we tell her that she was drugged" Rodney exclaimed.

John looked up in anger, seeing now what they were getting at. "What you mean we don't tell her that she was drugged. Let her continue to believe that she willingly slept with that bastard."

"I know it's hard," said Jack "but we have to decide what is best for Elizabeth now. The trauma from her present assault and rape is difficult enough for her to cope with, without the additional knowledge that she had already be subject to the same thing previously by Simon. What we have to be aware of as well, is that although we know Simon was the one to drug Elizabeth, we don't have any proof to back this up. He would have made sure there were no witnesses, and no evidence left to implicate him."

Rodney shot Carson a look of irritation "Carson you just said you had proof that Elizabeth was drugged, now Jack's trying to tell us you don't..."

"What l said Rodney, was that l had proof that she was drugged, not proof of Simon being personally involved, and l don't know how we can prove his involvement with out his confession," answered Carson his frustration obvious.

Rose who had been sitting listening to the conversation in horror, and nearly in tears stood up "I'm sorry gentleman, no matter whether we have proof or not, l feel Elizabeth needs to be told the truth. I know my daughter better than anyone in this room, you included John. Elizabeth would want to know the truth, no matter how painful or disturbing it is. She has a right to know, and no one in this room has the right to keep the truth from her."

Teyla stood up and laid a hand gently on Rose's shoulder. "Your right Rose, I also feel Elizabeth should be told."

"How are we going to tell her though," Rodney asked sadly.

John stood up his face devout of any colour, but a determined look on his face. "I would like to be the one to tell Elizabeth, if that's okay with you Rose…?"

Rose nodded, understanding the importance of this to John. "I think you should be the one to break the news to her John, Elizabeth will take it best from you. When are you going to speak to her about it?"

"There's no time like the present and she should be rested by now." With that he turned and left the room.


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19

Elizabeth was awake and kept glancing at her door in agitation, whilst fisting the bedcovers. Numerous negative thoughts were flooding through her mind, _Maybe he has realised he made a mistake, and that he doesn't want me, after all_.

Elizabeth could feel her anxiety rising, knowing that tears weren't far behind, so she felt immense relief when she heard the door open, and John entered. Her fears were immediately put to rest as he gently cradled her in his arms.

The tears that had been threatening to fall now ran freely from her eyes as she fought in vain to control them. "John… thank goodness, I was worried."

John stroked her silky curls, "What were you worried about, sweetheart?"

"I was terrified that you had changed your mind," Elizabeth replied, tearfully.

John answered softly, "Elizabeth, nothing is going to change my mind. You need to understand that I will be here for you, always."

Elizabeth curled up to him as much as the pain in her legs would allow, "Will you stay with me tonight? Please, John…"

Smiling at Elizabeth, John gently wiped away her tears. "Well l can't see Carson being too keen on that idea, but then again, he doesn't need to know, does he?"

"It's just," Elizabeth began. "It's the nights, they... scare me."

Tightening his hold on Elizabeth slightly, whilst still taking care not to cause her any pain, John replied, "Well, you won't have to worry tonight. I'll be here to frighten away any nightmares that dare try to make an appearance."

John hesitated, not sure how to start the conversation that would inform Elizabeth, of the situation that she had unwittingly endured on Atlantis.

"Elizabeth… there is something l need to talk to you about, something not very pleasant but we all feel you should told."

"What… is it?" asked Elizabeth, warily.

John looked at her. How he was going to explain everything, without destroying her again. Sighing quietly, John decided the best thing, was to tell Elizabeth exactly what happened, and proceeded to tell her the whole sordid details.

Elizabeth hadn't moved since John delivered the devastating news, and hadn't even said a word. John continued to speak to her gently, trying to get her to open up to how she was feeling. He was beginning to wonder if this had been the last straw in pushing Elizabeth over the edge, and if they had indeed made the wrong decision by telling her about it.

John started to rise from the bed, knowing that if Elizabeth remained in her present state, he would need Carson's help. His movement however caused Elizabeth to stir, and she turned trying to get into the protection of John's arms. John stopped her though, when he realised how much pain she was causing to herself, instead he positioned her so he had a good hold of her, with her head resting just under his chin.

Her voice barely audible, Elizabeth said, "I didn't do it John, did l?"

"Didn't do what?" John asked gently, but slightly mystified

"I didn't betray you, l didn't cheat on you," whispered Elizabeth.

"No, you didn't Elizabeth. You never did any of the things we accused you of and I'm sorry for what we put you through. We all owe you a huge apology, especially me."

Elizabeth was adamant as she replied, "You weren't to know, John. That's how Simon planned it, what else were you supposed to think?"

"Hearing Elizabeth's words only added to John's feelings of shame. "Elizabeth, we should have had more faith in you. We should have realised how totally out of character it was. Instead, we added to it, causing you even more pain, and suffering."

"It's okay, John, you were presented with all the evidence to make you believe what you saw." Elizabeth gasped in relief as another thought flashed before her, "John, that means I didn't sleep with Simon doesn't it; he just made it look like I did?"

John felt his stomach lurch in dread. This was the question that he had been dreading.

Elizabeth was quick to pick up on John's hesitation. She pushed herself up slightly so she could look at John, "What is it, John..., there's something you're not telling me, isn't there?"

Shuddering in horror, Elizabeth had a sudden recollection of that night, of the discomfort she had felt when she woke up that day. "John…" cried Elizabeth in anguish, "The feeling I had when I woke up, the discomfort meant l did have sex with him, but how, there's no way I would have willingly allowed…"

"Elizabeth, you didn't ...

John didn't need to say any more. The devastated expression on Elizabeth's face was evidence enough. She understood.

"What did I ever do to him to make him hate me like he does?" sobbed Elizabeth.

Gently hugging her, John answered, "You didn't do anything to him; it's his own sick warped mind.

Distressed, Elizabeth clung to John, "He told me he had changed and I believed him. How can I have been so naive?"

"You just believe there is good in everyone, Elizabeth. Unfortunately, as you found out, that's not always true. What do you mean he had changed, though? John inquired, "Elizabeth... did he hurt you in the past?"

Elizabeth settled once more into the protection of John's arms before replying, "He used to get angry if things didn't please him, and just before I left for Atlantis, he hit me."

John's breath hissed out through clenched teeth as he listened, his fury at Simon barely under control.

Elizabeth glanced up at John, her face streaked with drying tears. "I was afraid to tell him that things were over, but when he said he had received help, I stupidly believed him. John please, please, forgive me. I should have told you about Simon."

John swallowed hard, shaking his head; he couldn't believe Elizabeth was asking for his forgiveness, after the shameful way he had behaved towards her. "You are the innocent one amongst all of this, Elizabeth. I'm the one who should be sorry, the one who should be begging for forgiveness from you. Elizabeth. If I had only thought about it rationally, I would have known it was totally out of character for you to behave like that. When I think of the pain and suffering you have suffered..."

"John, I am not the only one. You can't deny you haven't suffered also."

John kissed her gently, "That's my Elizabeth - always thinking of other people."

"But it's true, John," exclaimed Elizabeth, distressed.

"Hey, it's okay, Elizabeth. Let's just agree we have both suffered, but we have each other again and that's what's important now. More importantly, we didn't let Simon win; we defeated him in the end."

Elizabeth voiced the fears that she knew would always be present; "He'll get away with it though, won't he? We will never be able to prove what he did to us, John. Simon will always be there in my imagination, waiting to pounce, waiting to hurt me. He'll hurt us again and that's what frightens me more than anything."

John felt the pain stabbing at his heart; he wished there was something he could say to console Elizabeth, but he knew some of what she had said was true. There was little to no chance of them proving Simon was responsible. John wished there was some way to remove the threat of Simon from their lives, so that Elizabeth could put her fears to rest. She deserved to feel safe and not to live with the terror of Simon forever present in her mind.

There was only one place that John was certain could offer her the protection and peace that she craved: Atlantis. John was saddened by the knowledge, that only there, would Elizabeth have a chance of laying all her fears to rest. Within the bosom of Atlantis's protection, she would find the peace, and the security that she so deserved.

Frowning in anger, John knew Elizabeth would be denied this chance. He had already been warned, the IOA had made it known that they would not allow Elizabeth to return to Atlantis, under any circumstances. They wanted Atlantis to remain in the leadership of the military, and were unprepared to even discuss Elizabeth's return.

John was prepared to fight their decision however, and he knew he would have the support of some pretty influential people, including General O'Neill. The IOA would have a fight on their hands, John owed Elizabeth this.

Returning his attention to Elizabeth, John offered her what comfort he could at the present. "Elizabeth, while it may be true that we will never prove Simon's guilt, when I am through with all of this, everyone will know the truth. You will have no reason to fear him, because you will be surrounded by people who will ensure your protection and safety. As for fearing being alone at night, well, let's just say, that will no longer be a problem." John smirked slightly, "I'm afraid you're stuck with me."

Elizabeth managed a slight smile, "I like the sound of that, actually."

A knock at the door disturbed them; John got up to answer the door.

Carson was standing in the doorway with an upset expression on his face. "Sorry, John, everyone was waiting anxiously to know how Elizabeth took the news."

"It's okay, Carson, I should have realised how worried you would all be. It just, I didn't want to leave Elizabeth; she is still frightened and upset. Rose was right though, it was the correct decision, I realise that now. Will you apologise to Rose and everyone else for me?"

"It's okay, son they will understand, and Rose was just saying how proud she is of you."

John coughed tried to hide his embarrassment. "Do you want to come in and speak to Elizabeth, Carson? She's not asleep yet."

Carson nodded slowly, "I wouldn't mind, John, just for a few minutes."

Elizabeth smiled when she saw Carson. "Have you come to check to see if I'm behaving, Carson?"

Glaring at her, with a wounded expression on his face, Carson replied, "What? I'm not allowed to just pop in and see my favourite patient, without her thinking I have alterative motives?"

He glared at her again when she suddenly laughed. "So now you're laughing at me, well I must say if that's the thanks I get..." moaned Carson.

"Carson, you know l love you, really," replied Elizabeth, the laughter still evident in her voice.

"Here, wait a minute," retorted John. "What about me? Thought I was the one you loved…"

Elizabeth tipped her head to the side, a hand on her chin, "Well, can you give me some time to think that one over?"

"Elizabeth, you are in danger of being tickled until you tell me the truth," John threatened with smirk.

"Okay," coughed Carson, "that is my cue to depart. Oh, and because l knew you would find a way of blackmailing my nurses into allowing you to stay, with Elizabeth, I've saved you the bother."

Carson tossed John a bag, and John looked at the contents in disbelief, "What! You're agreeing to me staying the night, Carson?"

"And do you really think, you would have listened if I had refused?" Carson grumbled.

John smirked, "Is there much point in my answering that?"

Carson threw John an irritated glare.

"How do you put up with him Elizabeth, he really is trying on anyone's patience?" moaned Carson.

"He's not so bad most of the time," grinned Elizabeth.

"Just make sure that he doesn't get you roped into going along with some of his ridiculous ideas. Oh, and John, remember Elizabeth's bed is only big enough for one. Don't go thinking you can get comfortable in beside her."

"Carson...!" exclaimed both Elizabeth and John in unison.

Carson threw them both a stern look, "Just warning you."

Carson's expression was troubled as he spoke, "Seriously, lass you haven't been fooling anyone by your claims that you have been sleeping okay. Here's hoping John presence will allow you to get a decent night's sleep. ."

Elizabeth looked sheepishly at Carson, "I know and I'm sorry."

"We only have your best interests at heart, lass," replied Carson softly."

"Don't worry, I will make sure she sleeps tonight." replied John smugly.

"Just see you do," replied Carson sternly. "I don't want to have to come and chase you out because you're causing a disturbance."

"Carson!" exclaimed John.

Raising his eyebrow, Carson sniped, "Well, it won't be the first time."

John just shook his head in amusement. "Okay, we won't do anything to embarrass you."

"Just see to it that you don't," replied Carson. "Now, before I leave the two of you alone, Elizabeth would it be okay if I borrowed John for a few minutes?"

Elizabeth nodded, "The nurse is due to visit anyway but..." Elizabeth suddenly looked up in apprehension. "You will allow John to come back though, Carson, won't you?"

"Of course I will, he will be back before you know it. That's a promise."

A knock on the door signalled the arrival of Elizabeth's nurse. John kissed Elizabeth, telling her he wouldn't be long, and then left with Carson.

Carson walked along to his office, accompanied by John. He poured a coffee out for himself and offered one to John, who gladly accepted it.

Looking at Carson thoughtfully, John said, "I take it whatever it is you need to speak to me about wasn't for Elizabeth's ears."

"Sighing sadly, Carson replied, "I just thought you should be aware of the fact that I have already had to threaten Elizabeth with overriding her wishes if she doesn't start sleeping properly."

John stared at Carson in confusion, "Sorry Carson, what are you saying...?"

"I am saying, John, that Elizabeth has continued to refuse the acceptance of professional help, to deal with the emotional turmoil she is under. If she continues to refuse help and her condition continues to deteriorate, through lack of rest and sleep..." Carson sighed unhappily. "John, if this happens... the decision will be made for her; she wouldn't be given a choice."

"Carson, you can't do that to her!" exclaimed John, horrified. She already feels she has no control over what has been happening to her. To do what you're suggesting, well... it would be downright cruel."

"John, you think l don't realise that. Believe me; I will only use it as a last resort. The reason I'm allowing you to stay with her, is because I am hoping your presence will allow Elizabeth to feel safe, to settle her enough that she will find it easier to get some sleep. If it has the desired effect, I will see about moving her into a double room, so you can stay with her until she is well enough to leave the infirmary. That's if you agree."

"I certainly have no objections, Carson. I think the reason why she can't sleep, is because she's afraid someone is going to somehow get into her room, and hurt her. The thought of it terrifies her. Carson, anything that can help Elizabeth get rid of this fear, without having to force her into anything against her will, I am all for."

Carson nodded, "Let's hope it works then."

"So where am I supposed to sleep tonight anyway, seeing as you've forbidden me from sharing Elizabeth's bed," smirked John.

Carson frowned, "You can't be seriously thinking you were going to sleep beside her. John, come on, be sensible. Any movement on your part could seriously hurt Elizabeth. Not even you could think...."

John laughed, "Relax, Carson, I was only winding you up. Of course I wasn't going to try and get into bed with her. I know how fragile she is and I certainly won't be doing anything that remotely puts her in danger of being hurt. I just want to be with her, because I know how frightened she gets during the night."

"Well I will get one of my staff to put another bed alongside Elizabeth's for the time being. You'll have somewhere comfortable to sleep, and will also be close enough to Elizabeth if she needs the comfort of knowing you're beside her. Now, I think it's time you got back to her. It's a wonder she hasn't sent someone looking for us."

"Okay, Carson," laughed John. "Oh, and thanks."

"Just take good care of Elizabeth, John. That's the only thanks I need."

John nodded and left to return to Elizabeth, looking forward to spending the night with her.

Later that night, Elizabeth lay changed and settled in the bed next to John's. They had spent time just quietly talking. John had held her hand until she finally gave in, falling in to a deep and, thankfully, peaceful sleep, happy in the knowledge that John wouldn't let any harm befall her.

John, however, remained awake, going over everything in his head. It had brought him some peace of mind that, although visibly upset, Elizabeth had dealt with the revelation of what had happened on Atlantis, better than he had given her credit for. Her strength never failed to amaze him.

Not many people could endure the horrific things Elizabeth had undergone and survive. His heart swelled with pride and admiration for her. She was a truly remarkable and wonderful woman. He made a silent promise to himself: to always look out for her.

He also realised before he fell asleep, that he knew of only one other person who could possibly match that courage, and that was the person who had given birth to Elizabeth.

Rose had also proved herself to be an amazing woman. If Elizabeth agreed to become his wife, he knew he would develop a very close relationship with his future mother-in-law. Maybe he was going to have to get used to family life after all. He smiled to himself as his eyelids drooped and sleep claimed him.

_Family... that wasn't such a bad thing now, was it?_


	20. Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20

"Why do you think General Landry has suddenly arranged this meeting?" asked John, as both he and Jack hurried to get to the meeting for the allotted time.

"I've no idea; I just know he wanted to speak with us all urgently. I suspect it's something to do with Elizabeth however."

"What makes you say that?" asked John uneasily.

"Well the order was only given to SG1, and those of you involved personally with Elizabeth. I'd say that's a clue in itself, wouldn't you?" The pilot shrugged, refusing to comment: O'Neill guessed this was making him uncomfortable. And what he was about to say would make it worse, though he didn't see a way around it. "So... how are things…" he forced himself to continue, "between the two of you?"

"Great, I can see some of her old spirit returning." He groaned. "You've no idea how bossy she can get."

"Yeah, well you'd better get used to it, because this is only the start. Wait until she's well again."

John huffed, "Gee, thanks for that."

O'Neill became more sombre though as he thought of Elizabeth.

"Seriously though Sheppard, it's a relief to see Weir so content and happy. In fact she's happier than I've seen her in a long time."  
He turned to John feeling slightly awkward; he never did feel comfortable talking about this emotional stuff, but the man had to hear it. He deserved some praise. "That's down to you. She's improved greatly since you came back in to the picture. It's obvious how much she cares about you. It was heartbreaking seeing her lying so still and broken after her admission. I'm not ashamed to say, there were times I thought we were going to lose her. I get angry at myself for not acting sooner. I could tell there was something not right with her relationship with Wallace from the start."

John nodded sadly. "I know... If only l'd realised sooner, she wouldn't have suffered the brutal treatment at the hands of Simon and his thugs." He dragged a hand angrily through his hair. "Jack… at least you were there for her, which is more than I can say for myself. Even in the hospital it took Rose to bring me to my senses. It could all have gone wrong, if she hadn't made me see sense. What if I'd returned to Atlantis, selfishly leaving behind a broken woman who was calling out for help..? What if-"

"But you didn't, did you?" Jack stopped and looked him, laid a hand on his shoulder. "You're where you need to be. You helped lift up that broken woman, and gave her something to live for again. Don't torture yourself, dwelling on events that can't be changed. You can't undo any of what's happened."

"I realise that. It doesn't make it any easier though." Shepherd expelled an angry breath, trying to calm himself. It didn't work: Jack could still see how stressed the younger man was, even though he tried to hide it. "One thing I am grateful for however, I had the chance to show Elizabeth how much I love her, before we discovered the truth about what happened on Atlantis," he continued eventually. "If we had gotten back together after discovering she was drugged, there would always have been this little niggling doubt in her head. Eating away at the back of her mind would always have been the thought that I hadn't cared enough for her... to accept and forgive her for her supposed indiscretion…" he shrugged. "This way she'll never have any doubts."

O'Neill nodded. If this had happened with Sam- "Mind you Sheppard; admit it, you've got to be relieved. I know if I were me in your shoes, I would have been. Come on, finding out she hadn't been unfaithful, no matter how painful the circumstances of the disclosure were... Well, it was bound to leave you feeling... elated."

John stood in silence for a moment then slowly nodded his head. "Yeah, I guess for a moment or two it gave me an overwhelming sense of relief. That was quickly replaced by feelings of shame and disgust though." On seeing Jack's raised eyebrow he quickly emphasized, "Not at Elizabeth, at myself. What right did I have to feel relief like that? She'd suffered untold horror because of it, yet I was happy because she didn't cheat on me."

O'Neill rolled his eyes. "Sheppard, it was only natural for you to feel some relief. It doesn't mean you care any less for her. You really have no need to feel guilty, and she'd be the first one to tell you so if she knew."

"I suppose," sighed John as the slowly began walking again.

He clapped the pilot on the shoulder. "Damn straight! Don't let the guilt eat away at you. It's not what she needs right now and you know it."

John mustered a slight smile. "Funnily enough, when l'm with her, l don't have time to dwell on self-loathing. I need to be strong for Elizabeth. You know, as much as she tries to hide it, the pain is still leaving her depressed and exhausted. The therapy isn't helping either. It's good to know I help."

"So I take it she is still having a hard time with her regimen?" asked Jack curiously.

Shepherd nodded sadly, "It's not getting any better either. If Elizabeth could be guaranteed that she will definitely walk again, she'd cope better with the pain. The end results would make it all worthwhile. Unfortunately things are't looking too hopeful at present. Carson is disappointed by the results so far."

"Yeah, he said as much, not so long ago," Jack stated quietly. "It's still early days though. Don't give up hope yet. Carson was also grumbling about her not sleeping, has that improved any?"

"Well... Slightly, you could say. She says she feels happier knowing I'm beside her."

For a moment his eyes were far away, remembering something private. O'Neill felt

awkward suddenly, standing there. "The nightmares are still persisting," John continued eventually. "Elizabeth has told me she's terrified that Simon will suddenly appear and hurt her again. I just wish we could go back to Atlantis, Jack. At least there, she would be free of that fear, knowing there was no way Simon could get to her. And it would cheer her up no end if her treatment could be continued _at home_."

Frowning, Jack side stepped away from some marines running down the corridor. He hadn't missed the emphasis the other man put on the word "home." Atlantis seemed to have become home to Shepherd and Weir as surely as Cheyenne had become home to him and Sam. He cleared his throat awkwardly. "I hear she's been told to forget that idea."

John clenched his fists in anger, nodding. "I don't get it, Jack. How can the IOA deny her this chance of peace? Have they forgotten everything she did as leader? She deserves better."

"That's the IOA for you." Jack shrugged: it was nothing but the truth. But Shepherd was right, it wasn't fair. And if it had been Sam, he knew he wouldn't have rested until she had what she needed. "Look, leave it with me Sheppard; just let me see if I can pull a favour or two. What's the point of having influential friends, if you never make use of them?" The other man opened his mouth to answer, but he held up a silencing hand. "Don't get your hope up yet, and for goodness sake don't mention it to Elizabeth. It would devastate her, if we raised her hopes up, only for them to be dashed again."

John sighed. "I know. Hearing the pain in her voice when she speaks of Atlantis is bad enough. She's trying to resign herself to the fact she'll never see Atlantis again: To be given false hope of returning would be to cruel beyond words. I couldn't do that to her."

Jack nodded. "You do realize though John, even if she is allowed to return to Atlantis, the IOA may still reject her reinstatement. In fact she may well never be physically or emotionally able to resume her duties anyway." He could almost read Shepherd's expression: it clearly said _you don't know my Elizabeth, Sir. _But he pressed on_._ "How about you, have you thought of the full implication of the support you will have to provide, if Elizabeth is… permanently disabled? It's no mean task and you'll have a lifetime of it."

Shepherd paused in his stride slightly, before turning to the General. "I know what you're getting at Jack." He looked… well, he looked a bit annoyed at being asked such an intimate question. In his shoes, Jack knew he'd probably feel the same way. "The thing is, I need to be with Elizabeth: it's not a choice, it's a fact. And if she's going to be permanently disabled, then we'll cope with it together." His tone brooked no argument. "It would just be easier on Atlantis, we'd have full support there and not just from my team. Most of the people on Atlantis would want to offer help. It's just how things are done there; everyone is regarded as family and works together as such." He shrugged, began walking again. "If we can't return we'll still manage, by whatever means necessary. But there's no way I'll ever abandon her. I need her as much as she needs me. "

Jack took the hint. "I understand Sheppard, just wanted to make sure you had thought it through."

They continued the rest of the way to the meeting in silence.

When they arrived, they sat down to await the arrival of the rest of the team and General Landry. Sam arrived with the remaining members of SG1. John's team arrived soon after, followed by a grim looking General Landry.

The older man took his seat before looking around to make sure everyone was present. Tension filled the air. "Now that everyone is here, l need to discuss with you an extremely important and delicate subject," he began. "Can l just emphasise that what's said in this room mustn't go any further? It is only to be discussed with those of us here present."

Everyone present nodded their agreement and sat patiently as the commanding officer continued. "I 'm sure you're all aware of the charges against Dr Wallace, in relation to his deplorable crimes against Dr Weir." A rumble went through the room, most of it starting with Ronon. "At present he's an inmate of Dredge Hill Prison. Unfortunately, due to his knowledge of the Stargate Program, the man has been deemed a serious security threat. In view of this, we've no alternative, but to have him transferred into the care of the SGC until a suitable solution can be arrived at."

Shocked gasps sounded from almost everyone in the room.

John stood up angrily. "You can't do that, what about Elizabeth?!"

O'Neill grabbed him by the sleeve of his jacket, pulling him back down into his chair.

"Sheppard," he growled, "Sit down and let the General finish."

The pilot looked like he was going to argue, but instead he sat stiffly down, every muscle in his body coiling tightly inwards in his stress. Jack looked grimly at the General. "The man has a point. How are we going to ensure Weir's safety?"

General Landry sighed quietly, fully understanding their reservations. "Every security precaution is being taken. Wallace will remain under heavy guard, and will be held in the high security section of this base. Whilst you might understandably be anxious of his presence here, there are also some points in its favour."

Rodney, who had been sitting for once in stunned silence, threw an irritated glance in the direction of the General. "How on earth is his presence here gonna to do us any favours? Unless you're gonna let Conan here loose on him."

Ronon growled. "Give me five minutes alone with him; you won't have to worry about room and board."

Laundry ignored Ronon's remark. "The fact is Dr Wallace will be undergoing extensive questioning while here." He held up a hand to ward off the inevitable interruptions. "Now, although he has been charged and found guilty for his brutal treatment of Dr Weir on earth, it's been impossible to question and charge him for his crimes against Dr Weir on Atlantis. I just thought this would give you the perfect opportunity to do that."

John remained silent as General Landry spoke. Although still disturbed by the thought of Simon being anywhere Elizabeth, the idea of getting retribution held some comfort.

Landry nodded, relieved to see the room settle down. "One thing though," he continued, "And I cannot emphasise the importance of this enough. I expressly do not want Doctor Weir made aware of Wallace's presence here: she's been through enough. I'm sure you can see why, and I'm sure you're all in agreement."

Everyone present murmured their agreement. There was no way any of them would let Simon _near_ Elizabeth.

"The only people who'll be involved in his interrogation and subsequent incarceration are present in this room today. It's extremely important that no one lets the news of this leak out."

"So," Jack drawled, "to get this confession out of him, what tactics are you going to allow us to use? I can think of some, albeit not so pleasant methods, of extracting a confession from him." O'Neill smirked. "Payback sounds good to me. And it'd be much more satisfying to hear him confess what he did, even if we already know who's responsible."

General Landry sighed. "Now Jack, he is a prisoner and unfortunately he has rights."

John's voice interrupted, low but thick with emotion. "Rights! What rights? Oh, you mean the rights he allowed Elizabeth. Let me see; oh yes, the right not to be sexually violated... The right to live a life free from fear, the right to be healthy and able-bodied... Never mind he may have taken away her ability to live a normal life... never mind that she's still living with the real fear she may never walk again, confined to a wheelchair for the rest of her life. So tell me how he is more entitled to his rights than his victim is?"

"I understand your anger and frustration Colonel Sheppard." The pilot tried to interrupt but he spoke over him. "Can l just say l agree with you, and between everyone present l would take great pleasure in seeing him suffer. However, there's many ways of doing that without actually physically laying a hand on him."

"So what is going to happen to him, after we have finished interrogating him?" asked Rodney curiously.

"That decision, l thought, I could leave to one of you," General Landry replied with a faint hint of a smile.

Jack looked up, eyes dancing. "You mentioned it doesn't have to be on this planet."

Landry smirked, "No, not at all. In fact it may be better for everyone if he was imprisoned on a suitable planet, way out of harm's way."

"Well, I'm sure we can find a suitable ally. One who'd provide a nice welcoming party for him," said Jack gleefully.

The General snorted. "I'll leave that with you Jack. In the meantime, Dr Wallace will be arriving here later this afternoon. You can begin questioning him soon after. Now if that's all, I'm sure you'll have work to do before then."

"Actually General Landry, can l have a few words? In private, if that's okay?" asked O'Neill.

"No problem Jack, if everyone wouldn't mind clearing the room we can hold the discussion in here." Everyone acknowledge the subtle hint and started to vacate the room.

"Oh, Colonel Carter could you stay as well please?" asked Jack, "We may need your input here."

When the room was clear Jack shut the door and returned to his seat.

"Hank, I felt it's only fair that I warn you, I'm backing Weir's return to Atlantis. I intend taking the matter up with the President later today."

Landry raised his eyebrows. "I don't understand Jack, why you feel the need. Atlantis is doing very well under Colonel Carter's leadership. Why would you want to rock the boat?"

"Because it needs rocking. Weir needs something to get better for: What better thing, than Atlantis?" And both he and Carter traded nods. Landry couldn't help suspecting the astrophysicist's influence in all this.

"There's more to this than one woman's recovery Jack," he countered. "We have to think of Atlantis first and foremost. I feel is would be detrimental to Atlantis if we allowed her to return." He gestured to Sam. "Atlantis is doing extremely well under the new leadership, Jack. Colonel Carter has gained the respect and support of both the military and the civilians. Why would you want to jeopardize that?"

Jack glanced over to where Sam sat. She held his eye for a second and then pointedly looked away. They'd already discussed this, and not surprisingly they were in agreement. It had taken years for them to get together, and then when things started looking up she was suddenly installed as leader of Atlantis. With one order millions of miles had been put between them and neither he nor Sam had liked it very much. It was this experience which had decided her: Sam said she wouldn't wish that fate on Weir and Shepherd. Or anyone else.

"Well, Carter's position was never meant to be a permanent one," O'Neill began. "You know the IOA will want to replace her with one of their own eventually anyway. They're just be biding their time."

"Oh?" Landry inquired. "You think so?"

Sam nodded, pacing. "I have to say it's highly likely the IOA will want to replace me sooner rather than later. They think I'm a maverick and they wanted a door-matt." She grinned. "What better way to play them at their own game, than by reinstating Dr Weir?"

"That still doesn't justify Weir's return. For one thing, we don't know how long her rehab will take, or even what the outcome of it is going to be, for that matter. No one will even consider it until she has recovered."

"But that's just it; her care can be undertaken on Atlantis. Carson can continue there and also be at hand for any other emergencies that come up."

"Come on, you don't honestly think that's feasible, do you?" Landry demanded. "For one thing, Atlantis is not nearly as well equipped to deal with the type of care she'll need. Also, if the IOA are against her returning healthy, how on earth do you expect them to agree to her returning sick, as she is at the moment?"

O'Neill crossed his arms, interrupting. "Look Hank, I'm not saying I think it's going to be plain sailing, heck the IOA are going to fight it tooth and nail. And yes, I agree it's going to take a lot of organization. To equip Atlantis so she receives the cares she needs, is no mean feat. It's also something else the IOA will be against. Look at it this way though: It can only benefit Atlantis in the long run. The equipment will mean any serious injuries can be dealt with on-site, saving the resources of time and manpower here."

Sam nodded in agreement, enthusiasm in her voice as she spoke. "Atlantis is self-sufficient in most respects, in fact some of the ancient devices have proved more successfully than anything earth has to offer. This includes healing devices, some of which we have only lately discovered the benefit of. Sir, it's amazing what we are still finding on Atlantis it's like a huge treasure trove, and that's only what we've find so far. If Weir is to get well, then Atlantis is the place she'll do it. There's a great deal of Atlantis that we haven't managed to explore yet."

Jack smirk, amusement shining in his eyes, "Okay Carter, as much as I'm sure the General here wants to know about the gold mine that is Atlantis, don't you think you're getting slightly tracked here."

"Sorry," scowled Sam, resisting the childish notion to stick her tongue out. "It's just… it's easy to get carried away with the possibilities that Atlantis provides."

"Gee, not so you'd notice or anything," grumbled Jack, then cringed as he felt Carter's glare burning through him.

She ignored him, and directed her words at the General. "What I was trying to say Sir, is this: okay, Atlantis is lacking in earth equipment. But maybe Atlantis has something better to offer Dr Weir. We have already proven a number of the ancient devices are known to have healing qualities. What if one of these could be used to repair say the damage to her legs?" Landry pursed his lips, and O'Neill knew they had the man's attention. "On the other hand, if Atlantis was equipped better with earth equipment the two could go hand in hand, providing Atlantis with a top notch Infirmary. As General O'Neill was saying the idea of dealing with the more serious injuries on-site must be something the IOA will be in favour of. It would be a huge fund saving exercise if nothing else."

"And also," drawled O'Neill, "if they thought they were getting their greedy hands on some Ancient technology, well, I can't see them turning their noses up at that either."

General Laundry sighed as he paced the room, pausing to rest his hands on the table. He stared at them intently. "That's all very well, but what's to _stop_ them getting their _greedy hands_ on the ancient devices anyway?" He paused. "They may go with the idea of better equipping Atlantis, to deal with all type of injuries. However, do you honestly think the IOA will accept that as a reason to allow the return of a woman they were desperate to get rid of anyway?"

Jack grumbled obviously annoyed, "Well…"

"_Come on Jack… _we all know they were looking for an excuse to rid Weir of command. Why on earth would they back track now, when their wishes have been fulfilled?"

There was a pause before Jack answered. "They may do if they realize they're going to lose Atlantis's Commanding Military Officer and the only carrier of the natural Ancient Gene."

Landry frowned. "Why would they lose Sheppard, I thought he was happy on Atlantis? He's never given any indication otherwise."

O'Neill pursed his lips and threw Carter another look. "The thing is… Atlantis is his home. But he's got Elizabeth to think of now, and there's no way he would ever contemplate leaving her here, whilst he returns to the Pegasus Galaxy." _Any more than I'd leave Sam…_

Landry noticed his expression. His gaze flicked backwards and forwards between the two officers, musing. There was something they weren't saying… And then it hit him. "So… you're trying to say there's more going on between them than simple friendship."

Jack raised his eyebrows lazily, "Whatever gave you that idea?"

Landry shot him a look. "So… more than friends then… How long..?" He cleared his throat and his tone become more serious, "And the truth, if you don't mind."

Sam tried to interject. "Sir, can I just say something first? The only reason Dr Weir has recovered to the extent she has so far, is because of Colonel Sheppard."

"I'm not denying that Colonel Carter… now how long?"

Jack sucked in breath "They were together on Atlantis, before all this happened with Wallace. You know he attacked Elizabeth when they were planet-side. What you don't know is that Wallace did it for revenge when he found out they were in a relationship."

Landry's eyebrows raised again. "So in reality, the problems Carter faced when she took up command of Atlantis were due to the havoc caused by the break-up of their relationship? And you still want me to agree to them both returning, and hell be damned the risk of it happening again?"

Sam looked down in frustration. "Sir you don't understand: it wasn't as straightforward as that. What they were put through was vile and horrendous, for them both. Neither of them understood what was happening, so they didn't know how to cope with it."

"But Colonel Carter… Atlantis suffered because of them, something that cannot and will not be overlooked."

Jack butted in. "Look Hank, yes Atlantis suffered, and yes it should never have happened, but it did and the city still recovered. Weir-"

The General stood up, leaning over the table. He did not like being interrupted, even by a fellow officer of equal rank. "O'Neill, do you seriously expect me to agree, to push this under the carpet as if nothing has happened? Allow them to return, and wait with bated breath for it to happen again? If you do, you're sadly mistaken."

Jack got up, pretending to stretch his legs: He didn't want to show his irritation to the other man. "Hank, their relationship had gone undetected until Wallace came on the scene. Can you really sit there and say it affected the running of Atlantis before that? They've taken risks on a daily basis, knowing they could be sacrificing each other, so that Atlantis would survive. Atlantis comes first for them and always will. Even when things were bad, Weir still put the city first. She knew Atlantis was suffering and handed in her own resignation rather than see it falter."

Landry scowled, "Yes, but it did falter. We could have lost everything and for what?"

Sam knew they were losing the argument, which they couldn't afford to do. She knew the importance of getting General Landry on their side, and she knew what she had to do. "Sir, it was because everyone had developed a genuine loyalty and trust in Dr Weir that they took what happened so hard. The Atlanteans were angry because they felt betrayed when she left. They felt everything Dr Weir stood for was a lie and they couldn't' forgive her for it." Sam paused for a moment to let what she'd said sink in. Her voice was full of emotion when she continued. "But don't you see sir? None of it was true… She was innocent… The Atlanteans will be desperate for the chance to show their regret at how badly they treated her: They'll want the chance to help her recover. And they won't care about who she's sleeping with: they'll be happy that she's happy." She took a deep breath. "Sir, she belongs on Atlantis and I think everything possible should be done to allow her to return. She has suffered enough already."

Jack looked at the General hoping to see some sign that he was coming round to the idea of Elizabeth' going home. Unfortunately Hank was not one for giving anything away. He reverted his attention back to what Carter was saying.

"As for my posting, well as much as I've enjoyed my time on Atlantis, as Jack said, it was never meant to be permanent. My place is here on earth." Unable to prevent a side glance at Jack, she finished by saying, "Certain people need me here too; I've spent too long, _too many years away form them as it is," _she whispered. "It's time to come home."

"Certain people as in Jack, possibly."

Jack glared at Sam as she gave a shocked gasp. "What? I really don't know what you're talking about Hank," he said coolly.

"Sure you don't Jack…" replied Hank without feeling the need to make eye contact. "Let's just say your knowledge on certain things may benefit another couple facing similar problems." He turned to Sam. "So Colonel Carter, I take it by what we've discussed that you intend to side with O'Neill in this matter."

It took Carter a minute to recover before she could speak with anything more than a squeak. "I'm… afraid I will be Sir. As I said, the Atlanteans will do their best to aid Elizabeth's recovery. Weir needs Atlantis as much as they need her." She held out her hands helplessly. "Sir, they don't even need her returning as Commander of Atlantis, just that she be allowed to return."

"And what would they say if Colonel Sheppard was reassigned to Stargate Command?" asked General Landry, drumming his fingers on the table.

"That you're going to have a revolt on your hands," said Jack quietly. His meaning was clear.

"So he is that… important to the Atlanteans?"

"Yes… General, he is that important… Carter will clarify that for you."

Sam looked up from her thoughts. Her face was still slightly pink. "Jack's correct, Atlantis can't afford to lose Colonel Sheppard. He is highly respected and well thought-of by everyone he commands. He's also a damn good pilot. Many of the Atlanteans and possibly Atlantis itself wouldn't be around today if it weren't' for Colonel Sheppard."

"They will lose him though, if Weir isn't allowed to return," warned Jack. "And you certainly don't want to be involved in the resulting backlash."

The General gave an exasperated sigh. "Well I can't say I entirely agree with you, but If you want to fight to get Dr Weir returned to Atlantis I won't stop you. I just hope you're making the right decision."

Both Carter and O'Neill gave a small sigh of relief: the worst was over.

"Can we count on your backing, to some extent at least Hank?" asked Jack. "We really could do with you on our side. Come on... it will be good to get one up on the IOA for a change. And you do _not_ want to have to go down the road of finding a replacement for Sheppard."

"I don't know, as I said I'm not entirely convinced. However I won't back the IOA either." Despite himself, he felt a smile tug the corner of his mouth. "Let's just see how the situation develops, okay? That's the best I can give you at present. How about we discuss it again, after the situation with Wallace has been dealt with?"

"Okay," O'Neill relented, "I'm still going to have a word with the president. In the meantime though, see what his stand on the matter is. I know he always had a soft spot for our Dr Weir; hopefully I can play on that."

"Jack!" Sam slapped him lightly on the arm, "That's the president you're talking about."

"Yeah Sam... It's the President. But a little gentle persuasion won't hurt, now will it?"

General Landry shook his head, a hint of a smile on his lips. "Is that all then Jack or do have any other mission of mercy you want to discuss?"

Jack threw the General a glare. "No actually, I think I'm gone to go get a coffee and hopefully some cake."

Sam laughed before offering to join him. Landry had to admit, they made a nice couple. Not that he knew anything about it, of course.

"Okay Jack, I'll meet you later for the interview with Wallace." Just as they were about to leave he stopped them. "And Jack? Leave some cake for me, I'm partial to a bit myself but when you get loose on it, well…"

Jack frowned but gave a wave of his hand before continue on his way

In a deserted corner of the mess hall the Atlanteans were discussing the revelations of the meeting.

"So Sheppard, how do you feel about the news?" asked Ronon.

"The thought of finally getting some revenge for what he has done to Elizabeth makes me feel good. Y'know, maybe getting a confession from him will possibly allow the poor woman some closure." Everyone nodded understandingly. "What has me worried however is the possibility that she may discover Simon's presence here. It'll seem as if the nightmare that constantly haunts her has come true. It may destroy the trust she has in all of us, as well. I feel as if we are betraying her."

"Why would you think that?" Rodney exclaimed. "There's no way we would ever let him near her again, let along the chance to injure her-"

"Rodney, Elizabeth won't be able to think rationally like that. She wakes up every night shaking because she's convinced he's returned to dish out more pain. Thankfully I've been able to get her to accept she is safe, that I'll always be there to protect her, but still… Now I'm betraying her by accepting his transfer here."

Teyla laid a hand on his arm in concern, "John, do you not think on these lines. Think of how free Elizabeth will feel, when we can give her the news that her tormentor has admitted to the terrible crimes against her." She smiled encouragingly. "And remember, you will be given the choice where he shall be placed, so he never again can gain access to her."

Rodney nodded. "We'll make sure Elizabeth is protected from this, Sheppard. We won't let any harm come to her. I've also got a few ideas for locations that would provide the perfect stronghold for him, maybe even allow more payback. I'm off to speak to speak to Sam: SG1 have dealt previously with the people of these planets and their knowledge will be helpful."

John nodded his head in acknowledgment. "I really appreciate all your help and support: Elizabeth would too, if she knew."

"No problem Sheppard," Ronon said, his lip curling up to display a nasty smirk. "And just leave Simon to me. I'm sure he'll happily admit to everything when we're through with him."

"I haven't ruled that out yet," replied John. "I intend getting a confession from him, no matter what l have to do to get it."


	21. Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21

Dr Wallace's arrived at two the following afternoon. Once he was handed over into the custody of the air force, he was quickly ushered into the high security section of Stargate Command. His presence was to be kept quiet with only the members of SG1 and the Atlanteans being aware of the true reason for his presence.

Due to Elizabeth confinement to the infirmary, the chances of her finding out about the man's transfer were extremely remote. SG1 and the Atlanteans were determined it would remain that way. No one wanted to cause her further distress and this would be inevitable if she became aware of Wallace's transfer.

Dr Wallace was due to be questioned later that afternoon: Jack and Landry had been assigned to getting the truth out of the miscreant. The Atlanteans would be then be given the opportunity to question Simon about the assault on Elizabeth whilst he was on Atlantis.

It was quickly established that Simon's knowledge meant he was a serious threat to the security and secrecy surrounding the Stargate programme and to Atlantis herself. Their only options were incarceration in a secure facility or relocation to a planet without a Stargate. It was a difficult decision but one that would have to be quickly made.

Dr. Wallace had brazenly tried to strike up a deal with the two Generals. He maintained if he was allowed to escape incarceration he would remain silent about the Stargate programme. Jack immediately informed him there was no way of escaping justice for his crimes against Elizabeth. He was adamant that Dr. Wallace would be held accountable for his actions; Jack felt he owned this to Dr Weir.

Simon continued to deny his involvement in what had occurred the night Elizabeth was beaten and raped. The evidence was thankfully undisputable. Medical, criminal and witness statements concurred: there could be no mistake. Simon was going down, there was no way around it. And Jack didn't have a problem with that.

The attack on Elizabeth whilst on Atlantis was going to be much more difficult to prove. The analysis from Elizabeth's blood proved without any doubt she was drugged before the assault. Due to the lack of witnesses, it was going to be impossible to hold Simon responsible unless the Atlanteans were able to get a confession from him.

John paced impatiently, waiting for Jack and General Landry to finish questioning Simon. Ronon stood behind him, cracking his knuckles and looking his usual Conan self. Both were anxious to begin their own Q&A with the bastard, determined to get a confession from him no matter how long it took.

He was muttering in irritation, but looked up as the door opened. _Finally,_ John thought silently.

"How did things go?" John asked as the Generals entered. "D'ya think he'll come clean?"

Jack shook his head, wishing he could say something that would reduce the younger man's agitation. "You've got to be kidding. He's practically doing the opposite. He tried to blackmail us into allowing him to walk free; kept saying that he'll keep quiet, if we drop the charges against him."

"What?!" exclaimed John angrily. "He really thinks he can just walk away from the disgusting attack on her?" He expelled his breath slowly, trying to calm himself. Getting angry at O'Neill wouldn't solve anything.

"Sheppard ..." Jack laid a hand on his shoulder. He understood how the guy felt, but he'd have to keep his temper. "Do you really think we'd fall for his blackmail? There's no way in hell we are going to let him walk from this."

That seemed to calm Sheppard slightly. "So how are you going to deal with the security issue then? It's not as if we can lock him up and throw away the key," asked John irritably. Glancing over pilot noticed the knowing smirk on Jack's face."You got something planned... haven't you?" he accused.

"You bet I have." Jack shrugged at his sceptical expression. "He may be a security risk here on Earth but there are many planets out in the Milky Way that owe us a favour. It's down to you now. Go get your confession for what he did to Elizabeth on Atlantis." The news calmed the pilot, but O'Neill knew he'd have to be watched. Weir would not take kindly to his letting her man get into any trouble. The man had a knack for stupid, after all. "Don't let him get to you," he warned. "Remember, you don't want to do anything that will jeopardise what you have with Elizabeth. She needs you right now."

"Don't worry Jack; I have no intention of allowing him to come between Elizabeth and I again, ever." John turned sombre, "He'll talk, there's no way he'll get out of here if he doesn't. And it's the only way I can justify his presence here."

"Sheppard, leave that to me!" Ronon smirked nastily, clapping him on the back. "When I've finished with him, he will talk."

"I am sure he will," replied Jack as he eyed Ronon. He could see the Satedan was just waiting, ready to beat a confession out of the man. _He wouldn't have wanted Dex angry with him, that was for sure._ "Right let's get this over with. Sheppard, where's Weir? l take it she's out of harm's way?"

"She's undergoing her therapy with Carson and the physiotherapist," John answered, remembering the conversation he had with Elizabeth earlier. He'd hated deceiving her. Sensing he was keeping something from her, she had been hurt. "She was a bit upset that l wasn't going to be there. Thankfully Carson and Teyla are looking out for her."

"Okay..." Jack replied with a nod. He knew how hard this was for the Colonel; it was the first time he hadn't been with Weir during her therapy. "Just wanted to make sure she won't get any nasty surprises. Let's get in there then."

John felt himself tense, his emotions raging inside as he came face to face with the man who was the cause of Elizabeth's pain and heartbreak. He felt like grabbing Wallace by the throat and slowly squeezing the life out of him. The thought of Elizabeth having to cope alone without him, however, prevented him from springing into action.

"So..." He began, "Are you going to be man enough to admit the horror you put Elizabeth through?" John asked as his fists clenched in anger.

"I have no idea what you are talking about," answered Simon, brimming with confidence.

"You know full well what I'm talking about, but let me refresh your memory. In that sick mind of yours, you plotted a vile and deplorable revenge. An act of revenge against an innocent woman who didn't deserve the horror you subjected her to. You drugged and raped her. And why? Because you realised she was in a relationship with someone other than you-" Wallace tried to interrupt but John spoke over him. "You didn't leave it at that however: Instead you cruelly let her believe she had willingly slept with you, causing her heartbreak from what I can tell, just for the hell of it." He surveyed the prisoner disgustedly.

"Is that what Elizabeth is trying to tell you?" laughed Simon. "Wait, you actually believe the lies that bitch has been spinning for you? You're more of a fool than I though. She's certainly got you sussed. _Liz_ must have worked out how gullible you were within minutes of sleeping with you." He paused. "Sorry to disappoint you, but she did me without thinking twice, and I have to say... enjoyed every minute. Judging by the screams." He grinned smugly at Shepherd. "I can give you the details, if you want."

John lunged at Simon growling in anger, unable to hold back his fury. He knew it was crap, he knew he was being baited, but still-

Ronon, knowing his friend wanted at this moment to beat the man senseless, quickly intervened. He grabbed the other man in a vice-like grip, pulling him back into his seat. "Sheppard," he muttered "What're you trying to do? Think of Elizabeth. How do you think it'll affect her if you're locked up for assaulting him? Leave it to me-, I can dish out the physical stuff."

"Did you hear... what he was insinuating...?" John- hissed- desperately, and tried trying to pull free from Ronon's hold.

"Yeah Sheppard... but we know it's not true, and that what matters," answered Ronon.

"It still makes me sick... hearing him talking about Elizabeth like that-, Ronon she can't even defend herself..." growled John, but his struggled eased.

Jack had been listening in silence. The remark had disgusted him too; He hated to think how it would have affected Wallace's victim. But Shepherd would have to calm down. "Elizabeth may not be present to defend herself," he said softly, deliberately ignoring Simon, "But we can do it for her. The best way of defending her, of getting some payback, is by showing him he hasn't succeeded in what he set out to do."

John's mood eased; he stopped struggling. "You mean I should show him I'm a lover not a fighter?" He shot Wallace his cockiest look. "Lizzie knows that."

"See, you're not as dumb as you make out Sheppard," drawled Jack. Ronon nodded in agreement; it was weird to see, he'd thought only Weir had that knack for calming his friend down.

"It's still not going to get a confession out of him though, is it?" replied John.

"I've told you before; allow me five minutes alone with him. He'll be begging to confess," growled Ronon.

"As much as l would like to say go ahead," sighed Jack. "I can't allow it."

Jack thought for a moment. The Satedan could be a key to obtaining a confession. "There is a way... we can possibly use the threat of Ronon to our advantage." He paused. "We give him the option of confessing and being allowed to live the rest of his sordid existence on a planet of his choice, or letting Ronon here loose on him. Then we pray he takes the bait."

Ronon turned to Jack, unable to hide his annoyance. "If we gave him the choice of the planet he goes to, how can we ensure he can't return through the Stargate?"

Raising an eyebrow, Jack replied, "Ah, but that's only what we let him believe. The planets we offer him will be ones we've already checked out. And as I said earlier only planets without Stargate will be offered to him. Most of the males on these planets think it is unforgivable to injure a woman. If we let slip to them what he did before he arrives, well, suffice to say the welcoming party won't be very warm." Ronon smirked nastily thinking _that I like__._

"Finally, just between us, you know how easily minor accidents happen, on a strange planet. You can get injured just by stumbling over a rock."

By now John was grinning, glad to see that he and O'Neill were on the same wave length.

"True. Like slipping and falling against something hard."

"Precisely," Jack smirked back.

"So how do we get him to agree to it?" asked Ronon, his gaze flickering between the two men.

"Well," answered Jack. "We let you threaten him first, just a little gentle persuasion."

John was deep in thought, before he said, "Can we be involved in transporting him to the planet he decides on?"

"I don't see why not, may even go along for the ride myself," grinned Jack. _Now that was something he would enjoy_.

"Let's get back to it then," replied John, "before he gets suspicious."

"Okay. Go for it Ronon," answered O'Neill.

Once inside, Dex strolled over to Simon, his formidable appearance threatening. The prisoner visibly paled as Ronon towered over him. _He wasn't sure how far they would go to get a confession from him._

"So, you still insisting that you didn't hurt Dr Weir?" growled Ronon.

"I already told fly boy over there. Elizabeth was a willing participant and enjoyed every minute," answered Simon. His voice, was lacking the confidence from earlier.

"Well, l _prefer _to believe a woman who l have great respect for." He loomed over him threateningly. "I certainly don't believe the bully who has already been found guilty of raping and beating her."

Simon looked over to John before viciously replying. "She asked for it-, she kept- complaining, showing me up in front of my visitors, l told her to shut up, but she just kept on and on. Even after we had her, she still wouldn't be quiet so l just put some manners on the woman."

John stormed over. "She was trying to get you to be quiet, fearful of disturbing your elderly neighbours. Unlike you, she cares about people." He paused. "What she didn't deserve, is the horror and terror you subjected her to. You left her barely alive. Elizabeth would have died, if it hadn't been for one of your so-called friends. Thankfully he was disgusted at what you did to her, and called an ambulance."

Jack came over and laid a hand on the younger man's arm. He could feel the tension radiating from every muscle in Sheppard body, ready to erupt into violence_. Could he keep it in check?_ He felt John take a deep breath. Forcing himself to relax, their eyes met, and understanding passed between them. The Colonel was still in control.

Crossing his arms, O'Neill took over, giving Sheppard a few moments reprieve. "So enlighten us. What terrible thing did your victim do, to cause your wrath on Atlantis? What terrible act did she carry out that made you decide she needed to be punished?"

"It is all in that perverted brain of his," growled Ronon. "Dr Weir didn't do anything, she was innocent."

"What's with you all thinking she's this can do no wrong, picture of innocence?" He laughed nastily. "I can tell you a thing or two about things she's done, that'll make the hairs on your neck stand up-"

"No one said she doesn't have a past," relied John angrily. "We all do. That doesn't give you a right to come to Atlantis and treat her like you did."

"Why should you get to enjoy her? She belonged to me, not you," Simon replied, his annoyance suddenly getting the better of him. "I saw her fawning over you, describing what she was going to be doing with you later. She lied to me, and told me there was no one else. Instead here she was, behaving like a tart and I hadn't even left yet. So I decided she needed to be punished. She deserved what she got."

Jack threw him a disgusted look "So you're admitting everything then?"

Simon startled, he'd unwittingly given up his one playing card. _Oh well_ he thought, _I guess they're smarter than they look, no need to hold back now_. "I suppose I have."

With a nasty smirk on his face he said "So, do you want to know all the delightful details? Do you want me to describe the expression on her face when she realised what was going to happen?" He paused, then laughed. "You should have heard her begging me not to, oh how sweet it was as I..."

A furious rumble sounded through the room, then Simon suddenly felt himself gasping for air and pinned against the wall. He desperately tried to pry Ronon's hand from his throat, with no success.

"Say another word and I will rip your tongue from your throat," Dex snapped, twisting his fingers viciously. "Oh and by the way. This is for Elizabeth." Nobody saw what he did next, but barely a moment later the doctor was writhing on the floor in agony.

The Satedan looked up at them with a savage grin on his face but his next words made them relax. "Don't worry; l won't end his suffering that quickly. The men grinned revelling in Wallace being on the receiving end at last_. But what I did, will hurt like hell for quite some time."_

"Now that he's confessed, it's time to decide what to do with him," said Jack after taking a moment to compose himself. _It was so good to_ _finally get justice for both Elizabeth and John_. _Now if he could only get them home._ "I'm going to have a word with Teal'c and Sam to find the best location for him."

The grin he gave them made it clear where ever it was, it would not be pleasant.

"Jack what we were talking about previously, regarding that mission, does it still stand?" asked John.

"You bet it does, I'll let you know when it's arranged. In the meantime go spend some quality time with Elizabeth, , leave Ronon and me to wipe this scum of the floor."

John nodded and left, his heart lighter than when he had entered the room. Knowing Elizabeth would be resting, John decided he would take the chance to get a snack at the mess hall. He hadn't been able to face anything earlier but now his stomach called out to be fed.


	22. Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22

After he finished questioning Dr Wallace, Jack instructed two of the marines to escort him back to the brig.

Simon was silent as he was escorted back under armed guard. He was chewing over something interesting in his mind. Elizabeth must be somewhere within the compound, judging by the tight security and Shepherd's agitation. She was obviously unaware of Simon's presence on the base.

He had a chance.

He knew the thrashing he had given Elizabeth would have left her with injuries that would require treatment. The logical place to find her would be the infirmary. The Doctor sighed, picking up his pace. He had to see her; he needed to explain that he hadn't meant to hurt her so cruelly. He had just lost it, fed up with the woman's constant nagging. He needed the opportunity to convince Elizabeth of that.

Afterwards he would take her home, where she belonged.

Accomplishing this wasn't going to be easy, he knew. He could however use his escort and his vast medical knowledge to his advantage. He silently rejoiced, patiently waiting for the right moment.

The two soldiers walked briskly along the long corridor that would eventually lead them to the brig. He had to play this right… Suddenly Simon staggered and dropped to his knees, landing lifelessly on the floor. The medical staff were summoned and quickly convened at the side of the unconscious doctor. Lieutenant Marshall removed the man's restraints to allow the staff better access.

_Step one_, Simon thought.

"Lieutenant, did Dr Wallace mention feeling unwell or give any indication of illness before he collapsed?" asked Dr Robertson.

The soldier thought back for a moment, it had happened so fast he was having trouble recollecting. "He sort of gave a gasp as if he was in pain," the marine said slowly. "Then the next thing we knew he was on the ground unconscious." The young man gestured to Simon: he was obviously worried about getting into trouble. "Will he be okay, Doc?"

The medic shook his head. "It could potentially be quite serious, so our only option is to admit him to the infirmary; he's still unconscious so I'll need to run a few tests." The Doctor assisted the medical staff secure Simon on the gurney before following them to the infirmary. Simon couldn't believe how easy this was. Once he'd been settled into a bed, away from the main infirmary, Dr Robertson left to arrange for various tests to be run.

_Step two was in full swing._

The two airmen stepped a few paces back from Simon's bed, allowing the nurse to continue her assessment.

"So what do you thinks' wrong with him?" whispered Lieutenant Marshall impatiently. _Some days this job really was too much. _

"No idea" replied Lieutenant Geoffrey. His attention flickered between the prisoner and his work colleague. "Let's leave that to the Doc. What's with the secrecy encasing him anyway? Did they tell you why he was under guard?"

No, they just said we were to make sure he got back to the brig" answered Marshall. "They did say he was a high security risk though."

"Typical, they never tell us anything" complained Lieutenant Geoffrey. "They just expect us to escort him, no questions asked. Suppose we should really inform the General about him being in the infirmary?"

Lieutenant Geoffrey frowned "Yes suppose we had better. Do you think we could hold off for five minutes or so though?"

"Uhm, why...?" questioned Lieutenant Geoffrey.

"Just, I need to pay a visit to the little boy's room," said Lieutenant Marshall. Suddenly, he was feeling an overwhelming need to relief himself. _I_ _knew that second cup of coffee was a mistake. _

"Okay," laughed Lieutenant Geoffrey as he rocked back and forth in his chair. "But be quick about it. We'll get out asses pulled over the coals if they find out."

"Right I will only be a couple of minutes." Marshall hesitated, not sure about leaving the airman alone with their prisoner. "Are you sure you will be okay until I get back?"

"Well, it's not as if our prisoner's gonna cause any trouble" He glanced over at Simon. "He's still unconscious."

Lieutenant Marshall nodded. "Okay, I won't be long."

"Why don't you have a seat Lieutenant?" said the nurse, looking over. "You can watch him just as well, from there."

Smiling, Lieutenant Geoffrey sat down, "thanks: it certainly beats standing."

Nurse Stevenson nodded. "Sure does. He seems to be settled for the time being, so I'm going to check on some of my other patients. If he starts to come round, or you're worried about him, just press the panic button beside his bed."

"No problem."

Once the nurse had left, Lieutenant Geoffrey spied a magazine on the table at the side of Simon's bed. He bent down to get it, but just before he reached it he felt a sharp blow to his head before darkness consumed him.

Simon smirked to himself, _Fools._ Now all he needed to do was find Elizabeth. He'd already worked out that Elizabeth was likely in one of the private rooms. He doubted she'd be in the main ward of the infirmary.

_Here goes,_ he thought.

Simon glanced up and down the passageway to make sure it was clear, then slipped out. He silently worked his way down the corridor, carefully assessing each room. After the inspection of the last room proved fruitless he knew time was running out. It would only be a matter of time before his disappearance was discovered.

And then) he smiled. Two of the nurses in the last room were chatting about "poor Doctor Weir," and how her 2XO never left her side. They also mentioned they'd be moving her from room 23A soon if she kept recovering the way she was.

Simon quickly walked the short distance to Elizabeth's room, and entered shutting the door behind him. The woman he sought was lying on her side, facing away from him, oblivious to his identity.

Weir groaned, "Carson...you're the one that insisted I rest. How do you expect me to do that, if you keep checking on me?" She rolled her eyes at the Scottish doctor.

_Carson just couldn't help himself, _she thought.

When she got no answer, Elizabeth rolled over on to her back to look at Carson. The bemused smile on her face froze. She was unable to stop the whimper of fear that escaped from her lips. She hastily grabbed for the panic button to summon assistance, but Simon was already one step ahead of her and wrenched it from her grasp.

"Hello Elizabeth..."

I'm just dreaming, I'm dreaming, chanted Elizabeth silently. _Just shut your eyes, and when you open them again, you'll see it's only a figment of your imagination_ she silently told herself. However even as she closed her eyes she felt a shiver run through her body at the unmistakable scent of his aftershave. A sob escaped from her as she forced her eyes open to see him standing over her.

"No..." Elizabeth opened her mouth to scream, but even this advantage was cruelly denied her.

He had his hand across her mouth, his fingers smothering her nose too. She couldn't struggle, couldn't even breath-

"Elizabeth calm down, I just want to talk. We still have things that need clarified." He paused, struggling to hold her down. "You know, I never wanted to hurt you? I was forced to act the way I did because of your constant nagging. Elizabeth, you showed me up, made me look a fool in front of my visitors. I had to punish you for that." Her eyes widened as her fear was replaced by outrage at his words but he ignored her. Simon knew once he explained she'd understand- "Hush now, we can put all that behind us and forget what's happened."

He smiled, brushing the hair softly off her brow. She struggled some more, twisting now as if she could get her mouth away from his hands and bite. He laughed slightly at her.

I want you to come home with me, Lizzie," he whispered. "If you explain it was a simple misunderstanding, they'll drop the charges. C'mon, I know you still love me." He removed his hand, reaching down to kiss her lips, as softly as a lover.

Elizabeth was stunned into silence. He was trying to write it off as a simple misunderstanding. After what he had done to her, what he had allowed his friends to put her through. The very idea of it disgusted and shocked her.

She pulled away.

"How can you stand there, and talk about what you did to me, as if were of no consequence?" she demanded. "I almost died and they don't know if I'll ever walk again." She struggled to sit up, her breath coming in gasps; she was too damn angry to care about what he did to her.

"I don't love you, Simon," she snapped. "I hate you..., do you hear what I'm saying Simon? I hate you with every breath that I draw... I despise you, the very thought of you makes my skin crawl. There is no way in hell you are going to walk away from this. I hope they lock you up and throw away the key."

Simon stared at Elizabeth, his expression dark and cold. "You're mind has been corrupted by the company you've been keeping. That bastard Sheppard has put ridiculous ideas in your head. You'll think differently once I take you away from him."

She laughed. "You can't take me away from him; you can't even touch the part of me he has. I love him, Simon, and he loves me. You'll never beat that out of me, so don't even try." With every word she felt stronger, more confident. The thought of John gave her strength, even if she was terrified at the same time. If he was serious about abducting her then she wouldn't be able to stop him, but she wouldn't cower either. "There's no way I am going anywhere with you, Simon: deal with it."

His expression turned cold. "Sorry sweetheart, but you don't have any choice, you're not thinking rationally. I'm going to take you away from here. It's the only way to save you from them, the only way to save you from yourself."

Simon went to lift Elizabeth from the bed, but she fought him with courage clawing and, punching him whilst screaming to try and draw someone attention. Simon growled in irritation: It was obvious Elizabeth wasn't going to co-operate. He cringed before punching her in the face. The force of it had the desired effect, throwing her back down onto the bed and disorientating her. Simon quickly took advantage of this, and wrapped a blanket around Elizabeth, effectively immobilising her. He tied the belt of her dressing gown over her mouth, to keep the gag in place, so she couldn't scream for help.

Elizabeth's whimpers of fear and anger grew into soundless screams, as he lifted her of the bed. His actions caused excruciating pain to flood through her body. Tears trickled down her cheeks as she sobbed in agony.

Simon, ignoring Elizabeth's distress, silently slipped out of the room, intent on finding a way out with his precious encumbrance.

He had only gone a short distance however, when he heard the alert sirens flood through the base. He'd been discovered. He needed to make a hasty escape, Elizabeth's room being the first place they would search, and he wanted to be a significant distance away by then.

He anxiously made for the door to his left, pausing briefly to assess any activity. Strangely enough, the corridor was deserted. He quickly struggled to the end of the corridor before reality started to penetrate his consciousness. His knowledge of the layout of Stargate Command was extremely limited and he didn't know if he was heading for the surface or deeper into the compound.

Simon realised he would escape faster if he didn't have the encumbrance of Elizabeth, but there was no way he was leaving her. Heck he was doing all this for her, so they could have a future together. Looking down at her, he was saddened to see her distress.

"Hush! You're going to be okay. I'm going to take good care of you when we get out of here," Simon soothed.

Elizabeth stared at the man she had once thought as her lover, her soul mate. Now, all she felt was an incredible hatred which penetrated deep into her soul. Her vision was fading as she felt the pull of unconsciousness getting nearer and nearer. She struggled against it but knew she couldn't hold out much longer. Moments later the excruciating pain triggered the inevitable. Soon she was basking in the comfort of oblivion where, for time being at least, there was only peace.


	23. Chapter 23

CHAPTER 23

John was whistling to himself as he made his way to Elizabeth's room. He was overjoyed that they'd finally gotten Simon to confess. At least now his crimes against Elizabeth would be unpunished.

Turning into the corridor, not far from the infirmary, he almost collided with Jack and Carson.

"Whoa, steady there, you almost bowled me over," John laughed. "What you rushing about for anyway?" The Colonel's smile faded as he noted the grave expressions both men were wearing. They looked ashen.

Something was very, very wrong.

He swallowed anxiously "Sir… what's up?"

Jack grimaced" I'm sorry, John. It's Elizabeth: we think Simon has her." Jack looked sad, angry, and harassed. It was weird, seeing the normally laid-back general like that.

John felt a cold fear rising up from his stomach. They'd goddamn promised him…"What... what the hell are you talking about? Simon can't get to her. He's locked up"

Both men winced. "Something happened... and he got away from his guards, John," replied Carson. The look on his face told Shepherd everything else he needed to know: a poker face wasn't Beckett's strong-suit. "We've checked Elizabeth's room and she's missing."

_Oh God._

The anger exploded out of him, and suddenly he didn't care who he was talking to_. _"How could you let this happen?" he demanded. "I told you this was a bad idea, that Elizabeth would be in danger, but no, you wouldn't listen. If anything happens to her..." He glared at Jack, daring him to contradict him.

O'Neill didn't look away. Neither did he apologise.

Carson spoke up, trying to break the tension. "John, you can point the blame all you want later. For now, we need to find them."

John clenched his hands in silent fury, barely managing to keep his anger at bay. Coming apart, wouldn't find Elizabeth.

Jack looked at them, his expression grim. For the first time since they'd met he looked like a senior officer. "We can't allow him to get out of this base," he said tersely. "If he does we've lost her."

"Don't you think I realise that General?" John snapped. "We need to find them now!"

The general nodded curtly, his expression still hard. "I've ordered marines to spread out and cover all exits. We'll find them, Sheppard." He was extremely concerned for Elizabeth himself, and silently prayed Simon hadn't already hurt her. "Now let's move out."

"She'll be terrified, sir," Sheppard said in despair.

Jack's heart reached out for him as they ran along the corridors searching for Elizabeth. Suddenly Jack stopped, as a message was relayed to him. He signalled John and Beckett to halt. "They've found signs of them," he explained. "It looks like they're heading towards the Gate Room."

"Why on earth would he be heading in that direction?" asked Carson. "It's not as if he can dial the gate."

Jack shrugged. "Simon probably doesn't have any idea where he's heading. It's easy to lose your bearings if you're not familiar with the layout. The corridors down here all look the same." He muttered a confirmation into his walkie and then picked up his pace: the Atlanteans hurrying to match him. "Come on, we're only a short distance away. It'll only talk us a few minutes to reach it."

Shouts suddenly sounded up ahead. They began running outright. As they got nearer they realised Simon had been cornered and was on the ramp leading up to the Stargate.

Elizabeth had regained consciousness and was trying to struggle in Simon's arms. Her angry cries could be heard throughout the base, and a couple of the techies winced at how hard she was hitting him. She was tiring quickly though and darkness was threatening to swamp her again.

She turned her head as she heard more footsteps running into the room. John noted the immediate recognition in her eyes, her relief obvious! Gaining confidence she tried to scream through her gag. "John please..!. Help me...!" He couldn't understand her, but his gaze was riveted on her.

John was shattered when he observed Elizabeth. Her face was swollen and bruised from Simon's blows, her eyes wide and frightened. It was the look of terror she displayed that affected John the most. He almost wanted to cry, realising the trauma she'd suffered.

_I'm __going to stop Wallace_, he silently vowed, _if it's the last thing I do._

"Elizabeth you're gonna be okay," John told her softly. "Just trust me."

She looked into his eyes, noting the determination in them. She would get out of this. He would save her.

"Doctor Wallace, put Elizabeth down gently, then get on the floor and spread your arms and legs," demanded Jack. He'd pulled out his firearm and trained it on the doctor. About ten marines followed suit. "It's your only way out. It's over, you're outnumbered."

The deranged doctor actually laughed. "You're forgetting one thing," he muttered gloatingly. "I've still got Elizabeth. Try anything sneaky and her next breath will be the last she'll ever take." And he caressed her neck almost lovingly.

Elizabeth struggled in panic. She threw John a silent plea for help.

"Come on, think sensibly man," countered Jack. "Where will that get you? You're only digging a deeper grave for yourself. Surrender and it'll all be over."

John was getting more agitated as the minutes ticked away. He knew they were going to have to do something drastic to get Elizabeth away from her abductor. He wanted to take action; instead they were simply standing there, trying to coax a madman into handing over his victim. He knew why were they doing this but it didn't ease his agitation- he just wanted Elizabeth safe.

A shadow out of the corner of his eye suddenly caught his attention and John realised what thr general was up to. He was drawing Simon's attention away from Tealc, who was silently, but swiftly, making his way around to Simon's rear.

Jack continued speaking to Simon, trying to coax him into surrender.

John knew as soon as Tealc was in place, the situation would quickly be wrapped up. He could only hope that Elizabeth wouldn't be further injured in the process. He shot a side glance at the general, signalling to him that he had worked out what was about to go down. And best of all he was near enough to get to Elizabeth, as soon as Simon was incapacitated.

Wallace frowned; things weren't going how he'd planned. He shifted slightly, throwing a glance over his shoulder. Unfortunately he discovered what they were planning. He immediately applied full pressure to Elizabeth's neck, intent on strangling the life out of her. If he couldn't have her, neither would Sheppard.

Elizabeth expression when she felt Simon tighten his hold around her neck was full of pain, fear and regret. She gave John one focussed, loving stare, willing her emotions into her expression, praying he understood how she felt. Simon's hands around her neck cut off her oxygen and her lips began to turn blue as she struggled and gasped for air. She didn't have long left. John's voice would be the last thing she would hear before- Before she stopped struggling, that was all she would let herself think.

"Elizabeth," she heard him call desperately, "Elizabeth, stay with me-" but blackness was claiming her.

Tealc reacted swiftly to Simon's movement, firing a shot from his Zat, immediately stunning him. For John, everything seemed to be going in slow motion. From the time Tealc fired his weapon, to it hitting its target, to Elizabeth falling from Simon's arms, seemed to take forever. He watched her slow descent, eventually crumpling motionless and silent on the floor, a solitary tear glistening on her cheek.

John froze for one tiny fraction of a second, then darted forward to her side. "No...! Elizabeth come on don't you do this! You can't leave me!"

Carson felt sick as he gently coaxed John. "Lad let me take a look at her."

John was unable to prevent his distress from showing: his eyes were glistening with tears. "Carson, Carson… I think she's left me." He sounded lost, like he was going into shock.

Carson bent down to examine Elizabeth, dreading what he would find. She had fought so bravely, to survive all she had endured. He couldn't, no, he just wouldn't believe-, she had won her fight-, only to have victory so cruelly snatched from her.

His hands were shaking as he began his examination, checking for any signs of life. He listened in disbelief as the faint but steady beat of her heart radiated through his stethoscope. He let out a sigh of relief, glancing at John. The relief in his eyes said more than words could have.

Jack gently shook him. "Carson come on, you're killin' us here."

The Doctor smiled. "Her heartbeat is strong. She'd a brave lass, she probably passed out through exhaustion and fear." Jack and John simultaneously relief sighed. "I need to get her to the infirmary so I can examine her fully. There's a chance she may have received new injuries or exacerbated her existing ones." A gurney had arrived as Carson was speaking and they gently lifted Elizabeth on to it.

John followed the medical staff in silence as they made their way to the infirmary. Images of Elizabeth, lying on the gate room floor, kept flashing through his head; He felt responsible for what had befallen her. He was the one who'd promised to always protect her, to never again allow her to be abused or hurt. He'd failed her.

Sheppard took a seat outside, knowing he would only get in the way. He was dreading the news Carson would bring, terrified of what additional injuries Elizabeth had sustained.

This longest of days just kept getting longer.

Shepherd looked up as he heard someone coming in his direction. His heart sunk as he realised it was Jack and Rose. The General must have informed Rose of the situation. What could he say to her_, I'm sorry for lying to you,_ _and her? Sorry I promised to protect Elizabeth, when I was too feeble to even do that on Earth, let alone Atlantis? _

Rose approached John gingerly. She knew he'd be taking what had just happened to Elizabeth hard, blaming himself for it.

Sighing in despair, she knew the blame was needless. Okay, it was foolhardy of them to have Simon transferred here, whilst Elizabeth was still present. She knew the reasoning behind it however, and it had proven successful. No one could be blamed for what happened afterwards, especially not John. Rose was intent on getting that through to him, by whatever means possible.

Elizabeth's condition concerned her as well. Jack had told her that she'd been unconscious when they got to her, but Rose somehow knew Elizabeth was going to survive. Her daughter had fought hard to overcome her injuries, to finally have a chance of happiness with the man she loved.

There was no chance of Elizabeth giving all that up, not when it was about to become a reality.

"John Shepherd," she began scoldingly, "That better not be a defeatist attitude I detect coming from you."

"I let her down, Rose. I promised to always protect her, to not allow any harm come to her. Instead-," and he trailed off.

"John, will you stop and think sensibly for a moment? Okay, maybe it was foolhardy to allow Simon in this base with Elizabeth still here. From what Jack has been telling me however, you were against it from the very beginning." She laid a hand on his shoulder. "You got a confession out of him, son: because of you he had to admit what he did to my baby girl. That alone will be a huge relief for Elizabeth."

"But ..."

"No buts John, let me finish,-" she held up a silencing finger. "Elizabeth didn't want to tell you, but she still felt people wouldn't believe she was innocent. She was convinced everyone would think it was a cover up, just to make people accept her again. She would never have gotten over that feeling. You proved her innocence, John."

He shook his head, the anguish he was feeling clear. "Elizabeth may not live to hear her innocence has been proved Rose. You didn't see her, after they took out Wallace. She was so still, so pale.

Rose sat down beside him, taking hold of both his hands. He was taking this so hard, she mused; she could see now what her daughter saw in him. "John, I don't think we need fear what Carson will tell us. I know Elizabeth is going to survive this. Don't ask me how, I just know." She took his hand. "Elizabeth is going to need you John, now more than ever. You can't afford to fall apart; you need to be strong for her."

John just nodded still not convinced. He was determined to pull himself together, as he heard the door to Elizabeth room opening.

The expression on Carson's face was enough to show them Rose had been right. Not that surprising really, he thought. Though that was easy to say now...

"Elizabeth is going to be fine. She has a few new bruises and she'll probably be sporting a black eye tomorrow, but nothing too serious. No further permanent damage has been caused to her existing injuries either, although she was in extreme pain." He clucked disapprovingly. "I've alleviated that with some strong analgesia. Her emotional state is very fragile, understandably so, but John?" and he smiled slightly as he said, "she's asking for you."

"Can I go in to see her then, Carson?" asked John, his previous fears forgotten.

Carson sighed "aye, in you go lad. She'll never forgive me, if I stopped you."

Shepherd didn't need to be told twice; he was anxious to see for himself that Elizabeth was going to be okay. He quietly entered and stood for a moment, basking in relief as he watched Elizabeth lying peacefully asleep. He silently crept over to the chair at the side of her bed. She sensed his presence and quickly opened her eyes, desperate for the comfort of his arms. She knew with John's presence she would feel safe.

"John..." Elizabeth cried, unable to stop the sobs from escaping.

John quickly approached Elizabeth's bed. Instinctively knowing what she needed, he gently took her in his arms.

"It's okay I've got you." John kissed her gently on the forehead. "Elizabeth I'm so sorry. It should never have happened-"

She spoke over him. "I was so scared John, he said he was going to take me away from you. I really thought he was going to do it and I couldn't do anything to stop him. I couldn't get free." Her expression twisted at the memory and she began to cry softly, burrowing her face into John's neck.

After a moment, she somehow found the strength to continue. "When I saw you, I knew everything was going to be okay. I suddenly felt safe," she whispered. She looked up suddenly, intensely, at him. "I knew you wouldn't let him take me."

He shook his head. "Elizabeth, you've got more faith in me than I have. When I heard he'd escaped custody…" he paused. "I don't think I'll ever forget the image of you lying on the Gate room floor. We should never have allowed him to be transferred here. Getting a confession out of him won over common sense."

She looked at John then, a sense of hope rising within her, as she listened to his explanation,- "John... did he... did Simon confess..?"

The pilot nodded as a soft smile light up his face. _Rose was right, _he mused,-_ as usual_. "Yeah, he admitted to everything. We taped his confession, so there's no chance of him retracting it."

Elizabeth was thoughtful for a moment "John, he's ill isn't he? Mentally I mean. I think it dawned on me when he abducted me. What he was saying didn't make sense, even though he seemed to believe it." She paused. "I don't know why I didn't realise sooner. Maybe with the right help he'll manage to banish whatever demons are haunting him."

John stroked Elizabeth's cheek. Her sense of compassion never failed to amaze him. "Even after all he has put you through, you still find it in your heart to forgive him." He shook his head in wonderment. "You are one amazing woman, you know that?"

"I don't know if I can ever forgive him John," sighed Elizabeth thoughtfully. "But if he _is_ ill, he deserves treatment. He might be able to function again, one day."

"Just as long as he's kept far away from you," John answered. The thought of Wallace released into the community- He wouldn't sleep well if it happened.

Now she smiled,- "You'll always there to make sure he does, John, wont you?" Her voice was soft.

"You bet I will," replied John and then he made a show of looking around for Beckett. Having ascertained that they were alone he hiked himself into the bed beside her, laying on the covers, careful not to jostle her. There was _just about _room for them both. She began to laugh, and he joined in, their voices melding together after all they'd been through. He stared into her eyes and smiled his best rakish grin.

"You bet I will."

Jack had left to speak with General Landry, after popping in quickly to check on Elizabeth. The general was anxious to deliver some news he had just received. News which had stunned him.

"So, what do you think Jack? Landry asked. "Do we divulge the news to our couple tonight, or leave it until the morning? We need to bear in mind the trauma Dr Weir has already faced today."

"I think you know my answer to that,-" Jack answered, exasperated.

Landry held his hands up in supplication. "Okay, no time like the present then. Let's do it."

John wasn't surprised that Elizabeth was struggling to keep her eyes open. The events of the day had obviously exhausted her. "Elizabeth," he said gently, "Why don't you shut your eyes? Try and rest for a while."

"I'm fine," she pouted. "Anyway soon it'll be time for dinner and I'm hungry." She paused thoughtfully, "besides, if I go to sleep you'll eat my meal as well as your own."

"As if I would ever do that," replied John with a wounded expression on his face.

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. "Oh, like you never distract me, so you can steal my Jell-O. Don't try to deny it John. I can provide plenty of witnesses."

He laughed, relieved to hear some of her old spirit back. "Oh well, guess that's me well and truly caught."

"Honestly, I can see the pair of you are going to be hard work," sighed Rose.

As John was trying to think of some smart comment, there was a knock at the door and he was surprised to see Generals O'Neill and Landry enter the room.

General Landry quickly apologised for the intrusion. "Dr Weir, sorry for the interruption. I hope you don't mind…"

"Not at all General, but please, call me Elizabeth."

He smiled. "Okay, Elizabeth." He turned to Jack. "Do you want to do the honours, Jack?"

O'Neill was grinning like a Cheshire cat. "Thanks, Hank." he gestured to the couple. "I have news, campers."

"News?" asked John, bewildered. "Look, whatever it is, can't it wait till the morning. Elizabeth has had a hard enough time today as it is without more trauma-"

Jack raised his eyebrow. "Oh I think she'll like this news. In fact I know she will."

"What is it you think I'll like?" she asked, intrigued.

"Well, let me see. Name something you've been longing for but thought had slipped out of your grasp," smirked Jack. He was enjoying this.

"I'm not sure what you getting at," Elizabeth replied, confused.

The smile grew wider as he shook his head. "John, maybe I'll have more success with you." A look of understanding started to appear on John's face, and he winked. "Ah... I see you're quicker on the uptake than her ladyship is," he said.

John couldn't prevent the grin spreading over his face. He knew by the nod Jack gave that he'd come to the correct assumption. He wanted to be sure though. "Is it definite though Jack? I thought you needed more time-"

The General nodded. "It's definite. Let's just say the events of today swayed the decision in our favour. The President himself has just confirmed it."

Weir looked back and forth between the two, the confusion in her voice plain. "Will someone kindly enlighten me, seeing as I seem to be the only one in the dark? Frankly it's starting to be annoying."

John took hold of her hand. "Elizabeth honey," he began, "What is the one thing you want more than anything? Something you can't bear to speak about as it hurts so much. The one thing you never thought to see again?"

She looked at him. There was only one thing missing to complete her happiness. _But it can't be; they told me there was no chance._ The sheer joy on his face was enough to give her the answer though.

She was barely able to choke out, "Atlantis!" And then, "Are saying we're allowed to go home?"

"Yeah," Jack laughed, "You're going home; the President has over-ruled the IOA decision. He's agreed to your return to Atlantis. And not only that but Carson will stay on as your doctor, if you want." He shrugged, mock nonchalant. "When I'm good, I'm good."

Jack felt an overwhelming sense of satisfaction being the bearer of such happy news. The couple deserved to have something joyful to look forward to. "Now whether you'll able to take up your full-time position as expedition leader once again still isn't certain. However, once your injuries have healed and Carson agrees that you're ready to go back to work, I will _personally_ be assessing your capabilities, not the IOA." He paused, letting it sink in. "In the meantime Colonel Sheppard will be taking over as commander of Atlantis until such time as Elizabeth is deemed fit to resume her position. President's recommendation. At that time, you are to be given the decision of remaining as joint leader with Elizabeth, or resuming your position as Military Commander

Jack knew the colonel had mixed feelings about this. He had to hand it to the man; he was comfortable with having Weir as his boss. "Sheppard I know you think your place is out protecting and aiding your team, but it's not going to help Elizabeth's recovery if she's anxious for your safety every time you go off on a mission."

The Colonel nodded, realising the truth in those words. Elizabeth had to come first. His concern for her would have distracted him, every time he went off world, putting himself and his team in even greater danger. It made sense; he just wasn't sure who they were gonna replace him with. Who he'd trust.

"I understand," he began cautiously; "actually... the idea of joint leadership is quite appealing." He grinned, glancing at Elizabeth,- _it'll_ _certainly be interesting._ "Sir, my only concern is who you're going to appoint as my replacement." _Please not Caldwell, _his mind chanted, _anyone but Caldwell…_

"Major Lorne will be promoted to military Commander," Jack explained. _That should please him,_ he mused. Major Lorne was highly thought-of and the Colonel's 2IC already.

Both John and Elizabeth sat in stunned silence, - as they gradually grasped the full implications of Jack's speech.

Elizabeth was the first one to recover, a grin spreading over her face. She threw her arms around John, barely able to contain her excitement. John's expression mirrored Elizabeth's as he held her secure in his arms, his voice thick with emotion as he spoke the words she'd longed for.

"Guess what, Elizabeth?" he crowed. "We're going home. Home to Atlantis!"


	24. Chapter 24

Teyla Emmagan patiently applied the finishing touches to Elizabeth's make up, observing the normally contained diplomat fidgeting restlessly, whilst sitting on the chair within her quarters. The Athosian smiled knowingly, and placed a comforting hand on Elizabeth's shoulder. She could see that her friend was making a poor attempt at hiding her anxiety of what the day ahead meant to her. "Elizabeth, everything is going very well so far. John has devoted all his time and energy into ensuring everything is perfect, so much so that he has almost driven Dr McKay to distraction.

Dr Weir frowned, clearly not convinced. "That's exactly what I'm worried about. Tell me again. Why… did I agree to leave the preparation for something as important as today in the hands of those two? They only have to look at something and it spells disaster."

Teyla winced realising the truth of these words, having been present more often than not during some dire circumstances they team found themselves in. It was nearly always down to some mishap or understanding on the part of either Dr McKay or Colonel Sheppard; something they denied avidly.

"I can't see how that will be a problem," replied Teyla with conviction. Not with all the hard work everyone has put in to making today a success. Coming to stand in front of her, the Athosian commented softly," This is their gift to you Elizabeth – a way of making amends."

At her words, Elizabeth eyes filled with tears. Teyla went to her and put an arm around her shoulders. "Please don't...don't worry yourself so. It will be alright."

Looking up through a mist of tears, Elizabeth gave a wan smile, "I should be ashamed. After all they've done, all I do is criticise them. What will they think of me?" Her spirit seemed to return. "John certainly had Rodney on his toes though. In fact, I recall nearly everyone getting orders thrown at them." She smirked, "I imagine many will be giving John a wide berth for a few days after this is over."

Returning the smirk Teyla recalled the determination John has shown over the past month. She understood his almost fanatical attention to detail; everything had to be perfect for his future wife. After all the pain and humiliation she had endured through the long previous months, he wanted to turn her thoughts to the happier times that were awaiting them. Today was to be the start of that.

"Well, I have to say he has surprised not only me, but others also. John's dedication to creating a day that will forever stand out in the history of this city, has earned him a warm place in the heart of all those that reside on Atlantis, the same can't be said for Rodney unfortunately."

"It's just his way. Underneath all the gruff and bad temper is a totally different Rodney McKay. He just doesn't allow that side of him to surface very often. Atlantis would be a sorry place without him though... I for one have a soft spot for him."

"I also have affection for him, as does Ronan, although he would not say so. His actions speak for him were words do not" Teyla replied courteously.

The two woman lapsed into silence each taken up with their own thoughts.

Teyla's thoughts went back to not long before; back to the time Elizabeth returned to Atlantis, exonerated of all wrong doing....

The Athosian had discretely watched over Elizabeth since her return. She was appalled at her own previous treatment of Dr Weir and was determined to make it up to her. Anyone who either knowingly or unwittingly said something that cause suffering for the Doctor would feel the sharp edge of Teyla Emmagan's tongue. The normally quiet and gentle Athosian would quickly turn into a force to be reckoned with if the occasion warranted it. More than one person had left her company feeling thoroughly chastised.

So when Elizabeth started regaining some of her former self – her love for Atlantis along with its people and her gentle yet courageous spirit – Teyla felt alive with not only happiness, but relief also, for she knew now her friend would survive and once again become the leader she had been.

John's role in her recovery could not be faulted either; his devotion to his fiancée showing no limitations. With his support and the allowance of time, Elizabeth would finally lay her many ghosts to rest. That however was still somewhere in the future.

To anyone else, on the surface at least, the couple looked to have conquered all of their fears. Teyla, knowing them better than most, was under no such elusion, for they were masters at disguising their feelings. Elizabeth especially, needed protecting from herself. She'd always been good at giving but not taking, shrinking away from those who only wanted to befriend and care for her. She had improved greatly since coming to Atlantis and encircled herself in the tender care of those she was closest to, namely John and his team. She still did her utmost to deflect anything that would affect her standing as a leader, never wanting to show any signs of weakness fearing it would be used against her.

Teyla has spoken of it during one of her frequent conversations with Elizabeth's mom. Rose had confided that this trait had existed in Elizabeth from an early age, causing her mom much despair. She immersed herself in situations no one else would undertake - never minding the consequences. This was nearly always magnified by her daughter's refusal to discuss her feelings and worries, instead keeping them to herself, where they would bubble away under the surface.

Teyla remembered the tears present in Rose's eyes when she spoke of the overwhelming relief she had felt, when she realised her daughter had at last found that special person who could penetrate the barrier her daughter had built; that person was John.

She had a deep regard for Rose, Elizabeth's last living parent. Only in her company, could Teyla find the kind of guidance that had been lost to her since the death of her beloved. John also felt a great deal of affection for Rose and they had taken great comfort in one another's company during the early days of uncertainty.

It was this developing trust that gave him the confidence to confide in both Teyla and Rose the periods of depression that often still plagued Elizabeth.

Elizabeth successfully hid this from all but a few, going about her daily duties as if it were just another day. Only those closest to her noticed her sudden shiver of fear, or the black shadow's under her eyes that marked a night of lost sleep. During these times John never left her side, would be extra vigilant and offer the comfort and support needed to assist her through the dark days.

Therefore, when John himself needed someone to confide in, it was Teyla and Rose he turned to. In their company, he would receive the assurance he needed; their comforting words giving him the strength to continue.

Teyla felt thankful for the development of this trust; happy in the knowledge the John, as well as Elizabeth, had someone to turn to when things became so difficult they couldn't undertake it singlehandedly.

Teyla wasn't the only one whose mind was occupied.

Elizabeth couldn't put the worry of the upcoming ceremony to rest. Her mind was over flowing with things that could go wrong - mainly of her doing. _I can't do this, why did I let myself be convinced that I could?_

The thought of walking down between two rows of people staring at her was terrifying. She would rather be facing the goa'uld delegation again than doing this. She clenched her fists trying to compose herself. As she sat with her head in her hands she began to feel as if she were slowly being encased in a strange feeling of tranquillity. Just for a moment she was sure she heard a gently whisper in her ear, the soft tones of someone she had not seen in a very long time, but who remained for ever a part of her. The person who had shaped the being she was today, her father.

She felt the years rolling away until once again she was a shy ten year old, the apple of her father's eye. She was back up on the stage about to commence her first recital... that was until she'd looked out into the crowd and froze with terror. Her legs had turned to jelly and her hands shaking so much, that the manuscript she held almost fluttered to the ground.

Her father had been her saviour, for on seeing the terrified expression on his daughter's face, he had stood up from the midst of the audience, drawing Elizabeth's attention to him. His expression had not been one of disappointment but of love and encouragement. That alone gave her the strength to continue and the confidence that had recently deserted her came flooding back. Her performance had astounded and mesmerised everyone present, but it was the ecstatic grin of her father, his eyes burning with pride that had given her the most joy.

It was her father's continued belief in her that had secured her future as a diplomat. Her greatest disappointment was her father hadn't lived to reap the reward of his daughter's successful career.

But maybe, just maybe, he had found away to remain part of it for ever present if not in body then in spirit.

Elizabeth smiled he would have got on so well with John – after he had satisfied himself of John's integrity that is. She realised although her father could no longer be there for her, she still had someone with the same strengths and qualities. With John she would blossom once again. Her future husband would be forever present, encouraging her to reach out and take back the strength and confidence she had lost, just as her father had done for that frightened child so many years ago.

.

A soft smile lit up her face as she thought of what lay ahead with him. It wouldn't be plain sailing, but then that's what she loved about him, and life would never become mundane. She heaved a sigh as she felt the ache of longing. They had only been apart for one day and one lonely night, yet already she ached for the scent and feel of him; for the brush of his lips against her ear as he whispered comforting words meant only for her.

Why had she allowed herself be talked into spending their last evening as single people in the company of their own friends?

Mind... it had been fun; Elizabeth laughed aloud startling Teyla, who gave her a confused look.

"It's okay Teyla, I'm just thinking back to the fun of last night."

The Athosian smirked, "Yes it was a good night. The men are not the only ones who know how to have a good time."

"And we didn't need drink to make it so." Elizabeth commented smugly.

"Well... not much anyway... just enough to enhance the taste" Teyla unsuccessfully tried to hide the sly grin that insisted on plastering itself all over her face.

Elizabeth stared at Teyla in astonishment. "What? You mean the so called non-alcoholic punch was actually laced with alcohol?"

Teyla had the grace to look slightly ashamed "Just enough to make every one relax and enjoy themselves."

"I'm so dead," groaned Elizabeth. "Especially if certain people found out. Carson will have me confined to either the infirmary or my quarters."

"We will not mention it then," snorted Teyla. "Can you imagine John's reaction? Sorry John Elizabeth cannot marry you today- _Oh why not replies John – _because... Carson has locked her in her bedroom for being a naughty girl."

Both women collapsed into hysterics.

"Okay, no telling Carson please!" giggled Elizabeth.

Teyla took a deep breath, trying to suppress a fresh wave of giggling hysterics. "I would not dream of it. Maybe he will be worse anyway. Talking of which, I wonder what kind of night they had. I warned Ronon the consequences he faced if he did not take care of John and bring him back in one piece. They should be returning shortly."

Elizabeth looked apprehensive "Why did I agree to allow them to stay overnight? What if they get stranded?"

"Frowning, Teyla scolded her friend. "Elizabeth will you stop worrying? Nothing will prevent John from being here for the wedding. Now sit back and relax while I finish your hair, or it will be sticking up in places you do not want."

Elizabeth sighed, but remained quiet. She couldn't prevent herself from dwelling on the topic, however. Any kind of catastrophe could occur, stranding them on the mainland with no way back.

Oh she didn't doubt they'd had every intention of arriving back as arranged, but where John was concerned, nothing ever went as it should.

Sulking, Elizabeth knew even when they did arrive back she was forbidden from seeing John until she joined him for the taking of their vows. She needed to see him, to reassure herself he would be their waiting. Not for the first time she wondered how different her life would be if had not come to find her that day, but instead had returned to Atlantis. Would he have been lost to her forever or was it their destiny to be together, sooner or later?

She shivered with fear. If he hadn't been there, what would have become of her? She wouldn't have survived the pain, or the horror her memories threw at her without John's comforting presence. They would have remained foremost in her mind, never giving her a minute's peace until finally they broke her for good.

Too late, she realised, she had done herself no favours dwelling on things that hadn't happened. Instead what she had succeeded in doing was inducing a bout of anxiety. She found it increasingly difficult to breathe as the feeling overwhelmed her. Knowing she was just being foolish did nothing to stem the flow of fear.

She struggled to remember words of comfort John uttered when he was with her in moments such as this. Gradually the feeling started to subside as she envisioned John comforting her - almost feeling his loving embrace.

Teyla had also noticed the change in Elizabeth and was looking at her in concern.

Crouching down beside her friend, whilst still mindful of her own dress, Teyla grasped the frightened woman's hand. "Elizabeth something's wrong, what is it?"

Although remaining silent for a moment, Elizabeth finally replied in a voice barely audible. "I'll be fine, just give me a minute."

"Elizabeth, I can see you are not fine," replied Teyla firmly.

Acknowledging the truth in the words, Elizabeth heaved a sigh before answering. "I shouldn't be feeling like this. Not today of all days Teyla. I should be happy; thinking only of marrying John."

Teyla took the distraught woman into her arms. "It's understandable Elizabeth. Your emotions are all over the place thinking of what is to come. You need to remember thought you have nothing to fear. Think only of the picture of beauty John will be presented with, as you float gracefully down the aisle."

Elizabeth couldn't help from replying soulfully. "Not if I trip over my feet and fall flat on my face before I reach him."

Teyla looked shocked for a moment then burst out laughing.

Elizabeth glowered, clearly not happy her friend was finding the thought of her demise funny, but a sudden vision of the shocked expression on the faces of those present, especially John's, was the medicine she needed. Her fears were soon forgotten as both women became doubled up with laughter. It took many a long minute before they regained their composure and became engrossed one again in repairing the damage done to Elizabeth's make up with their bouts of hilarity.

A knock at the door announced the arrival of General Jack O'Neill.

"Elizabeth it's time we…" he came to an abrupt halt. The sight before him robbed him of all speech; his expression full of admiration. He had never seen Elizabeth as stunning as she was today.

Her dress was breath taking, hugging her curves to perfection, before flowing down to the floor in folds of material, which highlighted her elegant figure to the fullest. Jack knew the cream material was Athosian, and was Teyla's gift to her dear friend. The dress had been specially designed for Elizabeth by a friend of Teyla, as was the lace and crystal tiara.

"Elizabeth! Wahoo! You certainly clean up well. You'll have John trembling at the knees when he catches sight of you."

The diplomat blushed in embarrassment at the compliment.

"Say...What if some hefty alien carried him off? I could always take his place at the altar. What do you say? Come on, surely you would rather have someone with a bit of sophistication?" Jack brushed his jacket, preening himself. "I've years of experience, compared to some flyboy, who's still wet behind the ear?"

The corner of Elizabeth's mouth twitched, "Somehow, I can't see Colonel Sheppard going for that idea. What about Colonel Carter? Do you really want her wrath unleashed on us?" The diplomat sobered slightly. "Incidentally Jack, I'm glad Sam was able to come today. She's become a good friend. I've always felt she bore a grudge -resented me in some way." Shaking her head, she sighed deeply, "But who can blame her? Especially after the way I was suddenly commanding your chair, with no word of warning, and you were gone. The loss of General Hammond, then yourself in such a short space of time, must have been exceptionally hard to face, For SG1 especially. To find themselves, not only with some diplomat they didn't know, but who to top it all wasn't even military... well... that must have felt like the final nail in the coffin." She placed a hand on the front of his lapel, as he tried to butt in. "Let me finish Jack."

Jack looked for a moment, like he was about to argue, but stopped himself, nodding his head for her to continue.

She acknowledged him with a soft smile. "You see, as far as they were concerned Jack, I was the one responsible for the breakup of what had become a very close knit team. Although you were already out of the field and installed as General within the SGC, you were still very much on the scene. My arrival however, put an end to that. Your time within the SGC became more infrequent, causing resentment from those closest to you."

Playing with the gold bracelet John had given her, she smiled. "Now however, we thankfully seem to have put our past problems to rest. Instead of the cold shoulder there is only warmth. You know Jack, Sam has been such a tremendous help, something I can't thank her enough for. So you see it wouldn't have felt right, if she couldn't be present today."

O'Neill laughed in good humour. "Do you really think I, or anyone else for that matter, had any choice in the matter? It was either that or endure a never ending ear bashing."

"Poor Jack you really have a hard life," she smirked. "Bye the way have you seen John? Has… has he arrived back yet and in one piece, from the Athosian mainland? I haven't seen him since yesterday morning."

"So they kept their promise, and kept you both apart," Jack replied with an evil grin.

"Jack it's not funny," Elizabeth huffed, as she sat down heavily on the chair. "What if he's changed his mind? Last night will have been the first night he's had on his own in ages. Maybe he's realised that things are moving along a tad too quickly for him." Elizabeth's voice became barely a whisper, with Jack only just managing to catch what she was saying. "What if he wants more time, or decides married life isn't for him? What will I do then, Jack?"

"Elizabeth Weir, stop tormenting yourself. The Colonel doesn't give the impression he's being forced into any such thing. That goofy smile he's turning on everyone, is proof enough. Now are you up for this, or do I have to carry you kicking and screaming to the altar?"

"Jack," Elizabeth gasped. "You'll do no such thing."

"Why not! Can you imagine the guests' reactions to that? What?" He grinned at the shocked expression on her face "Don't you think it would be comical? Just imagine their faces!"

"Don't you dare, Jack O'Neill," she growled. "Don't even think about it."

The delighted grin on O'Neill's face soon had her collapsing with fits of laughter. "You certainly believe in making grand entrances Jack; however I can't see it doing your back any good."

Elizabeth jumped up suddenly and startled the poor General, before making him flush with embarrassment, as she embraced him in a huge hug. "Oh Jack I've got so much to thank you for. I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for you. You will always be my closest and dearest friend. I'll miss you when you return home."

Jack coughed to hide his embarrassment, patting Elizabeth awkwardly on the back. "Miss me... can't see you having any time for that, not if the Pegasus galaxy has any say in the matter. Just think; it's probably at this moment devising some new and devious situations to entice you into. So take it from me, make the most of the free time you've got left, because I guarantee, you'll only be back on active duty for five minutes, before you'll be tearing your hair out or stamping your feet in frustration."

"Talking about active duty General" Elizabeth asked hopeful of hearing some good news "Certain rumours have been filtering through the stargate."

"And what would these rumours be?" drawled Jack guardedly, but Elizabeth hadn't spent years being a negotiator for nothing.

"Don't try to play ignorant, General." She scolded him sternly.

"Oh... Well I might have heard the odd rumour. What was it now?" Glancing sideways, he smirked at the not so amused woman. "Now... what was it I heard again? Oh yes, I think it was a certain Dr. Elizabeth Weir was going to be offered the position, previously held by her, with stipulations of course and only if I thought this said diplomat, was fit enough to resume the position. There was one other rumour... what was it again? Oh yes I remember... another stipulation was this Dr. Weir was given permission to allow someone, by the name of a Colonel Sheppard, to continue and assist her, although she was to have the final say in any non-military decisions. Could that possibly be one the rumours floating around?"

"Oh Jack." Elizabeth was shaking with emotion. I can't thank you enough."

"So much for my announcement at the wedding speech," Jack moaned. He stopped short, as Elizabeth's face clouded over, and the look of regret she displayed, tore at his heart.

"As much as I'm looking forward to taking back my office, I'm scared how John will handle being on Atlantis, while his team are out risking their lives without his back up. What if he regrets his decision? John is military and thrives on the excitement of his off world exploits. To rob him of this choice may alienate him. I couldn't bear it if our relationship fell apart because of it."

The General grasped her shoulders, turning her to face him. He couldn't help feeling thankful, that this kind and gentle soul had not only survived, but now had the chance of some well deserved happiness. He also knew, having had this conversation with the Colonel previously, that as much as he would miss going off world, John realised where his place was from now on. He would never be able to fulfil his job to the best of his ability. Elizabeth came first, and always would. He felt happier, more content, knowing he would always be near at hand, to ensure she remained safe.

"Elizabeth, will you stop feeling guilty? Do you really think Sheppard would be happy, going off world and leaving you behind now? Okay, I'm not saying it will be smooth sailing, but that's life in general; we all make sacrifices from time to time. If I can handle standing in the background whilst SG1 go off world, then Sheppard will handle it just as well with his own team."

"But…" Elizabeth started.

He interrupted her. "No 'buts,' Elizabeth. The Colonel knows how things are. He's adjusting well."

She sighed, but knew he was being truthful.

"Now onto the other subject Elizabeth; you're fellow Atlanteans. Have they been treating you well? You know, you only have to say the word, and anyone who is not treating you as they should... well let's just say... it's been a while since I knocked a few heads together."

"General O'Neill! You can't go around assaulting the people of Atlantis, just because they may look at me in some manner you deem insulting. Anyway, everyone has been very understanding and courteous, including Colonel Caldwell!"

"Just watch me...." Jack stopped, stunned for a moment, "Steven's being pleasant you say? Well that's a turn up for the book."

"I don't know whether he regrets encouraging Simon..." just the sound of his name passing her lips made her feel ill."But he has been exceptionally caring and attentive since John and I returned. He even appears to be more respectful towards John. He and Carson have also become quite friendly also."

"What Dr. Beckett and Colonel Caldwell are best buddies? What on earth have the two of them in common? I swear it's this city, there's..."

"General are you being derogative towards my city?" asked Elizabeth, her eyebrow raised in a gesture he had become increasingly familiar with. Its meaning could signal so many things, depending on the tone and posture displayed, by the woman in question.

"Dr. Weir would I ever?" O'Neill replied with a wry smile.

She shook her head slowly, sometimes she despaired him. Her voice took on a more serious tone as she continued however. "Seriously Jack... despite my reservations and fears, about how my return would be perceived, everyone has gone the extra mile to make me feel welcome."

"And why wouldn't they?" He interjected. "They've only treated you as you deserve."

"But don't you see Jack?" Dr. Weir replied as she fidgeted with the pearls her Mum had given as 'something borrowed.' "Any doubts, or dissatisfaction, that even a couple of people displayed, regarding the discharge of my guilt, could have had a huge impact on the way things are executed here on Atlantis. It only takes one cog to be out of alignment, for the running and tranquillity to come crashing down around our ears. I've been the cause of that once, I couldn't bear it if I caused it a second time."

Jack could see she was close to tears. Not what he wanted for her, especially not today. Gently clasping her delicate hands within his own, he pulled her closer to him. "Elizabeth Weir, look at me. Get rid of any thoughts that you have, which say you are in any way responsible for past events."

She flashed him an anguished smile "I sort of realise that now Jack. But it's because I'm getting stronger. When it was first mentioned, about returning to Atlantis and indeed when we first returned, I was still finding myself again, still grasping at things I had given up for lost. Remember, I still was under the belief that the rest of my life was going to be spent in a wheelchair. I was worried about how people would react; what if they felt I was a liability, a liability Atlantis could well do without? And do you know, what was hardest part Jack? Not letting on to John how I was really feeling. He was so happy that we were being allowed to return; how could I spoil that for him?"

"He would have understood Elizabeth, don't under estimate him. Your happiness makes him happy. You have to be truthful with him, though, at all times."

"I know, and I did tell him eventually. He was the one who made me see my fears were all in my head. People were waiting, willing to accept me once again as a part of this very large family, but I, however, had to allow them access and disperse with the barriers I had unwittingly surrounded myself with. Once I was able to do that, Jack, I knew I was finally home where I belonged."

"Don't knock your own determination, Elizabeth, you have shown the strength of your personality and sheer willpower and used them to overcome immense odds."

"I couldn't have done it alone though, Jack."

"No, but then no one should have to battle alone. There's always someone waiting to pick you up, to point you in the right direction. For you, it was John and your friends; you thought they had deserted you, but they came through for you when you needed them most." Jack shook his head, as he observed the tears glistening in her eyes, threatening to escape. "And we'll have none of that today. Your mum will never forgive me if I escorted you down the aisle with black streaks running down your cheeks."

"Jack," sniffed Elizabeth. Desperately she fought to hold back the tears.

"Right, come on. Stop looking back to the past but instead look ahead, to what the bright future holds for you," his tone was soothing as he embraced her gently. "Now, if we don't get you safely delivered to John, pronto, we'll have all of Atlantis threatening me with body harm." A hasty glance, showed a much happier Dr. Weir, much to his relief.

A light knock on the door signalled Teyla's return. She had slipped, silently, out of the room, to allow the two friend's time to talk in private. Now, however, it was time to remind them time was fast approaching for the ceremony to begin.

Jack motioned to the Athosian. "Do you need time to pick faults or can we get this show on the road?"

"No. Both Dr. Weir and I are ready, as is Colonel Sheppard. Ronon, though, is threatening the Colonel with some serious harm, if he does not settle down. It is probably for the best that we make our way to the ceremony before he carries out his threat."

"I can bet McKay isn't helping the situation any!" replied O'Neill with an expression of disdain.

Elizabeth scolded him. "Don't be nasty Jack, Rodney is lovely. You need to know how to handle him, that's all. Atlantis wouldn't be the same without him. The situations he has rescued us from..."

"Don't forget the disastrous situations he has single handily caused. Remember that solar system, for instance." Jack reminded her.

"And can you say, you have never been responsible for situation that... let's say... didn't quite go according to plan, Jack O'Neill?"

Jack coughed gruffly but refrained from answering. He did however; throw both women a glare, which sent Elizabeth, especially, into fits of laughter. "Oh Jack. You can be a right old misery sometimes," Elizabeth giggled.

"I'm nothing of the sort. In fact, I'm actually a very tolerant kind of a guy."

"Sure Jack."

"Anyway, Miss Emmagan, if you get one side of our bride, I'll get the other..."

"No way Jack!" growled Elizabeth, "I can do this on my own."

He gave her a stern look. "Doctor's orders Lizzie; we assist you until we reach the door to the function hall. Then, you walk the short distance yourself, where John will be waiting for you. That was the stipulation, placed by Carson, as well you're aware."

She huffed in a very unDr. Weir-like fashion, but knew she wouldn't win this one. Damn Carson with his mother hen attitude. She grumbled, but allowed them to take an arm a piece. Suddenly she stopped, remembering something. "General O'Neill! What did you just call me?"

"Lizzie, what's wrong with that? Your Mum was filling me in on how you loved the name Lizzie."

"When I was 8!" Staring at him menacingly, she continued in a low tone. "You know it stopped rather sharply after that. Always wondered if it had something to do with the boy's nose I broke...accidentally, of course." Elizabeth grinned slyly. "These things can happen when you're not looking were you're going. So, in the process of trying to stop myself from falling, my fist somehow came in contact with the nose of the very person I tripped over. I did assure them it was nothing to do with the same boy calling me names, Lizzie being one of them. Did seem to me at the time they appeared a trifle sceptical, but well that's life... So you were saying Jack?"

"Okay I get the picture," moaned Jack, subconsciously touching his nose, muttering, '_time to get her off my hands. Better warn poor Sheppard, though_.'

"What was that Jack?" Elizabeth asked, and then laughed when he threw her a dirty look.

"Come. We should be going," Teyla reminded them and though equally as amused, she managed to guide them out the door.

Sheppard glanced round, giving a courteous nod to the newly arrived guests. The room was slowly filling with people as they took their places on the seats, which had been arranged for the wedding ceremony.

He sighed nervously, subconsciously squirming in his chair. This, he was sure, was the most nerve racking experience of his complicated life so far. Give him a Wraith to fight, or fly a puddle jumper through a stargate surrounded by blazing guns and he would tackle it with relish. But this, this was something different, and to top it all, he couldn't even sit in comfort, as his uniform scratched him no matter what way he sat. Dress blues. There was only one place he liked to see them and that was hanging in his wardrobe out of sight. He wore them to please Elizabeth though. She said they made her weak at the knees; she'd even told him once, dreamily that, he looked ever so sexy in them.

Mind you, if it meant repeating today for the rest of his life, just so he could have Elizabeth at his side, he would do so gladly, no questions asked.

She was the best thing that had ever happened to him. From the minute she came across him in the Antarctica control chair, something special had ignited between them. Although both were aware of it, they didn't recognise it for what it was to become. It was just a connection, awareness that together they could create something wonderful.

'_Oh, if only I could stop the nauseous feeling in my stomach_.' He sighed again, crossing a leg over his knee. He felt like springing up and taking off at a gallop. The guests however, wouldn't be particularly impressed if they observed the groom absconding as if the devil himself were in hot pursuit.

An exasperated groan came from the side of him, "Sheppard!" A quick glance to his right showed Dr, Rodney McKay grumbling as he rubbed his ankle. "What was that for?"

"What was what for?"

"You just kicked me in the shin; I'll have a dirty big bruise there tomorrow. Oh! I think I'll need to see Carson, feels like..."

"McKay, stop whinging, I never laid a finger on you."

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Did..."

"McKay," barked John, his eyes narrowing and irritation evident in his expression. '_Why the hell did I pick McKay to be best man again?_'

Falling silent, Rodney knew, by the tone of Sheppard's voice, not to continue with the topic. Years of spending so much time in the company of the man in question, had taught him when he had breached the line. Now was such a time.

Drawing in a deep breath, Sheppard turned to sit sideways in the chair, so he had McKay in his vision. He was aware he was in danger of making Rodney the scapegoat for the many emotions raging through his head.

"Look... uh... sorry."

"Forget it Sheppard, I can see how hard you're finding this. You're... you don't have any regrets... about Elizabeth... or...ugh this marriage thing?

"No," replied Sheppard his tone soft, "but what if Elizabeth does?"

"What? Why on earth would she have any regrets?"

"I don't know, possibly the fact she had time on her own last night, time to think."

"From what Teyla was saying, Elizabeth seems..." he yelped and glared at Sheppard with a sour expression.

"You've spoken to Teyla," replied John, ignoring the look. "When... Where was Elizabeth?"

"No." McKay nervously licked his lips. "Ronon was speaking to her; she slipped out quietly to allow Jack some time with Elizabeth."

"Oh. Elizabeth, how was she?"

"Didn't hear a lot, just she's a bit nervous, but Teyla said this was understandable. She was bragging of what a great success their girl's night had been." McKay smirked, clasping his hands in front of him. "They weren't the only ones though. Don't you think our night went equally as well?"

Stealing a quick glance at McKay, John smirked. "It looked as if you were having a good time anyway. Ronon was all set to stuff a gag in your mouth until you fell off the seat in a drunken stupor."

"I was never drunk," retorted McKay, indignantly. "It was my blood sugar. The food was finished and no one could come up with as much as a power bar,"

"Sure McKay." Smiling, his nervousness was forgotten for an instant, Sheppard thought back to the previous night. He couldn't fault his friends. That had been one hell of a party. Thankfully, he wasn't suffering too much from the after effects this morning. The thought of Elizabeth's wrath if he had shown up to their wedding the worse for wear, well... that would have been enough to sober him up anyway.

Oh... Elizabeth... how was she truly feeling? Was she as equally nervous as him? Dr. Weir, who on the surface gave a wonderful display of being calm, whilst underneath, her mind would be in turmoil.

Only with John did the diplomat open up; unloading feelings and fears she had kept locked inside. Not wanting to appear as anything but the strong capable leader that Atlantis needed. She felt that if she showed any signs of weakness, or emotional instability, then it would give them the proof they longed for. Proof that she wasn't fit to be a commander.

John was aware of how they questioned her decisions, looking for a scapegoat if anything went wrong, even if she'd simply followed orders given by them in the first place... If she was reinstated, once Carson declared her fit for active duty and that's what they were lobbying for, John would make sure she was protected from the pressure until she was better equipped to deal with their demands.

The Atlanteans, Sheppard knew, would welcome their former leader back with open arms. Especially now they realised, the wrong they had done her. Everyone remembered how it had been in the city, before everything went bad, before John and his team forced Elizabeth out of her city. Now they wanted things to revert to how they'd been previously. As much as Colonel Carter had greatly earned their respect, for single handily pulling the city back from the brink of destruction, she was military and the civilians in Atlantis felt happier with a civilian leader. After all, as they stated - they already had a military leader, in Colonel Sheppard.

It was difficult to get Elizabeth to relax and let go of some of her reservations. For her it was like changing a lifetime of behaviour. She had explained the difficulties she faced when they had grown closer and he had commented on the need for her to relax and work on building some close friendships within Atlantis.

Sheppard had listened closely, as she explained how her career had rested on her ability to remain reserved and aloof, not allowing the opposition the ability to read her thoughts and feelings. She had brokered and come out victorious, from many treaties, because of her ability to carry this off effectively. It had meant that her way of life often left her lonely and out of touch with the real world. Although there were times when she longed to share her day's experience, or occasionally yearned for some fun in her life, she pushed these feelings aside. She alone had picked her life's path, now her goal was to succeed no matter what she had to sacrifice on the way. Until, as she explained to John, Atlantis came along and brought with it a man with a mop of unruly black hair, blowing her self-imposed isolation into a million tiny pieces.

Seeing the many friendships blossoming and the individual groups that formed, while she stood alone, looking down on their happiness, made Elizabeth realise what she missed and yearned for. The problem was that, she'd spent so long detaching herself from such relationships, knowing where to start, to change a habit of a life time, was among one of the hardest things she had ever undertaken.

John remembered that moment of recognition, of seeing her standing looking on, trying to hide the sadness she felt. After all hadn't he been the same, not so long ago, before Atlantis? He knew then what he needed to do, even if it meant showing her how. And why not, after the chance she had taken with him? So he had shown her how to reach out and he had reached back, so that soon she found what the joy of friendship, of belonging, really meant.

It was John's team she had become particularly close to. They, in return, protected her with a fierce loyalty. Teyla, herself being a leader of her people, helped to break down the final barriers that Dr. Weir had erected. She had finally realised she could be Dr. Elizabeth Weir, diplomat and Expedition leader, but also be Elizabeth Weir, who enjoyed the occasional movie night and woman's poker night without one interfering with the other.

John had felt immensely proud, when she had explained all this to him. Proud they had broken through her shell, showing they cared, but also proud that Elizabeth, herself, had shown the courage and strength to overcome a lifetime of conditioning. His admiration for her that day had shown no boundaries and even to this day, she continued to surprise him with things she fought to overcome, and situations she graciously accepted.

John was sharply brought out of his thoughts, by McKay nudging him, smiling triumphantly. "Told you Sam would be back in time for today."

"What? Get it right McKay! You were the one griping because she had gone on a visit to the SGC. I was the one who said she would be back today."

"Uh... well, whatever... she's here, so she'll be able to dance with the best looking man here."

"Sorry he'll already be a married man by then."

"What are you on about Sheppard...?" He shook his head when he noticed the smirk on the Colonel's face. "Not everything is about you, now me for instance..."

Smiling triumphantly, John bluntly retorted, "so you going to tell that to O'Neill?"

"What's he got to do with anything?" McKay scoffed, giving the Colonel an icy stare.

"Probably the fact he'll want to monopolise her attention himself,"

A strong arm grasping him put a stop to the conversation. John suddenly found himself struggling for breath, as the large Satedan squeezed the life out of him, a wicked grin on his face.

"Sheppard, how you doing?"

"Easy Chewie, Elizabeth won't be happy if you damage her prize possession."

Ronon laughed, but stepped back to reveal the elegant and beautifully dressed Mrs Weir. Despite her advancing years, there was still an air of self-assertive grace about her. John knew he was looking at a future picture of Elizabeth, for there were many striking similarities. Pictures of Mrs Weir in her younger days, always made him do a double take; the likeness to his Elizabeth was so uncanny.

"Gentleman," she gave them an approving nod, "You both look very handsome." She turned to John. "You'll do my daughter proud, son."

"How's Elizabeth... You've see her?" Sheppard stuttered.

"Relax John. She's fine and evidently as worried about things as you. And I'll tell my soon to be son-in-law the same thing I told my daughter. This day will always remain special to you both so relax and enjoy it."

Stretching a hand outwards, she told him with enthusiasm, "wait until you see the vision of beauty that is soon to walk gracefully down that isle; your nerves will be replaced by pride and longing. So, content yourself with that thought. It won't be much longer. Mind you, although my daughter is a stickler for time keeping, it is the bride's prerogative to be fashionably late, so be prepared. I think you will also be pleasantly surprised, by something she has kept a secret... especially for today."

"What?" John looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"Just wait and see." She soothed, but smiled secretly to herself. They had taken many steps to ensure this was kept quiet, even though they all knew Elizabeth was bursting to confide in John. Elizabeth had been practising hard, determined, that when the day was upon her she would walk down the aisle without the assistance of a hand at her elbows, or a stick in her hand. She wanted to start married life walking, by John's side.

As the music started up they all knew it was about to begin. The path to their married life was set. As the guests stood to acknowledge the arrival of the bride, the murmurs faded until not a sound could be heard.

Dr. Elizabeth Weir walked slowly down the aisle; her beauty glowing outwards and captivating every eye in the room. Her smile shone so brightly, that everyone felt warmed by it.

John found himself mesmerised by the sheer beauty of the scene. His mother-in-law had been right; his heart was filled with so much pride and joy, he felt it would burst.

Oh, Elizabeth's beauty had never surprised him; she was always stunning. Today however, her beauty was reflected brighter than ever before. She wore an exotic long cream dress that highlighted her elegantly tall figure. He was happy to see she had left her hair down and her long curls shone as they hugged her shoulders. The jewels she wore in her hair sparkled and highlighted the brightness of her striking green eyes.

John realised it was not this alone, though, that captured the attention of everyone around her. The thing that people noticed above all else, was the sheer determination and courage she displayed. As she purposely moved closer and closer to John, everyone present understood the sheer grit and hard work it had taken for her to reach this goal and John, though longing to lift her into his arms, knew how important it was to this woman to succeed; this was her gift to him alone. As she drew level with him and their eyes met, what they saw in the other's eyes dispersed any lingering doubts.

John stood with open arms, his expression showing his admiration, his pride. As his eyes silently welcomed her home, she reached the safety of his protective embrace and they relished in the feel of one another.

John knew then that this was where he needed to be, where he would remain for the rest of his life. His only mission in life now was to care, love and protect this woman who had come to mean so much to him.

As the couple became one, they knew that day in the hospital, something had guided John to her side, so they could once again be reunited and today was their final reunion. As they listened to the words that marked their joining, they heard it and smiled to each other in understanding; Atlantis. Atlantis was rejoicing.

Atlantis hummed with joy, as she waited for the joining of the couple. A couple that brought so much love, so much happiness. Two great spirits, who between, them had brought her great city to life once more.

She, Atlantis, had spent so many long, lonely years waiting, to be once again awakened. As she arose from her deep sleep, she knew then what she had been waiting for. Time had been waiting for the right moment, waiting until it could be sure.

Suddenly many years later, the bright lights of Atlantis again shone across the Pegasus Galaxy, brought about by the return of two people.

Atlantis had known them, as soon as they stepped through the circle of water. She had reached out and embraced them, knowing she would forever protect and cherish them.

As Atlantis' happiness spread, the Atlanteans could only stare in wonder, as her lights appeared brighter than ever before. If they listened to the increasing whispers, they would understand.

As the couple become one, Atlantis sung with happiness, their names rejoicing from her walls. _Elizabeth and John _were finally home.


End file.
